Cute! I like how she forgets to say her name. Great way to emphasize her shyness and his popularity.
Please update more! it is very good!
Hello Michelle and Stacy!
I abso-bloody-lutely loved the beginning. You know why, Michelle. What wouldn't I give to be rescued by such a dashing young man from a bunch of hooligans.
I loved how you let Peter not lose his backbone in front of the Death Eaters, though I suspect me might not have been that brave, and probably would have hovered about the background anxiously. But then again, letting him be so brave is a lot better than having him squeaking in terror and running away, so excellent job on that!
And now I find myself wanting to fangirl about Sirius rescuing Marlene. So charming and smooth and gorgeous!
Brilliant first two chapters, and I'd love to read more!
*grins* Yes, the beginning was inspired, was it not? Truly, who wouldn't want to be rescued like that? I still see that scene playing out in my head and it makes me swoon! XP
As for Peter, I just can't see him as the spineless jellyfish most portray him as. I believe his weakness lay elsewhere other than courage, necessarily. However, it could be argued that he simply felt more courageous surrounded by his mates in an extremely public venue. >.< In any case, I like the 'united front' of the Marauders in this instance.
Thanks for the review and for noticing my little poke at our conversations regarding another extremely impossible and outrageously handsome wizard. >.>
I think it is too American High School style and not enough Hogwarts way. But yes, it was good. The writing was good and I so loved when Sirius rescued her! So yeah it was good!
Ahhh. So interesting! The plot is thickening and I cant' wait to see how this special book comes into play and what Lord Voldermort wants with it. It must be something fantastically horrible!
So mysterious! I cannot wait for more!
The book is an actual Irish artifact adn was a wonderful find by Stacy. There will be more about the book eventually, probably involving Sirius and Marlene finding the book and getting it. :)
=0 Oh my! Michelle and Stacy, this is awesome. I am really enjoying this so far. I mean, wow, I'm so blown away with how much I like this. Of course, Sirius/OC has always been a favourite of mine. I mean, you didn't exactly say that's what it is but I can only assume. And I am happy with what I have assumed. =D
First off, how you characterized Marlene was lovely. And the detail and flow, pure bliss. It was just so nice and lovely to read with lines like this:
The bell that hung over the door of The Three Broomsticks chimed lively as a girl with honey-blond coloured hair and curious hazel eyes entered, quickly scanning the patrons for faces she knew.
The first line and you've already pulled me in. It's great! Normally, I note how things should start out with a bang to draw readers in but this was so positively indescribable. You made up for it with smooth, delectable writing. (warning: Brittany has entered fangirl mode)
I think it's interesting how you have portrayed Marlene as shy and little bookish. If I ever read her, I'm used to reading about was loudmouth, out-going, 'gorgeous' person she is. Your spin was appreciated.
Would it be wrong of my to wish I had been in that situation so Sirius would have saved me? Siriusly. Wow. And I liked the dialogue with Yaxley and Travers. Poor Marlene. But they were in character too and I admired that, even though they played a minor part.
And the part with the Marauders. It was just so natural, just so right. It's one of those moments where you have to stop and say...this is not J.K.R. I adored James and Remus and Peter. It was dynamic, so dynamic. All of their responses are reactions were love.
I’m interested to see where you took your prompts, as I don’t think we have the same ones, which should make it exponentially more enthralling for me. I think what you have set up is fabulous and it really does ‘set the scene.’ The talent and time put into this is quite clear.
For the second chapter, just more wow. I can’t even tell which one of you is writing, it blends together so wonderfully. It’s not choppy or bumpy at all!
Now, as I don’t know your prompts, I have no idea what you made up. But the idea with the texts is brilliant. I really enjoyed Dumbledore’s part. He was truly in character for me also. I think everything about the mission makes sense and I am fascinated by this text now. I’m really curious about you lay that one out. I imagine it will be just as amazing.
I thought Sirius’ reaction to Marlene helping him was hilarious and it downed my hopes of them getting together. XD But he was just so appropriate, like I had pictured him. I thought it was also quite funny and Sirius-ish that he had no idea she was apart of the Order. I felt awful that he forgot her name though. >.<
And the end of the chapter was so sweet to me. I liked how she opened up and was all into it. =D
This is quite possibly the most fangirl-ish review I have ever left. Appreciate my dears. XD Every part of it I loved and prized. Amazing.
Author's Response: I'm so glad that you've enjoyed the tale that Michelle and I have spun so far! The fact that you took the time to leave such an awesome review left me grinning like a madwoman! I'm sure it will be hard to wipe the smile off of my face for another few days! *pickles/huggles/supersquishee* I hope you enjoy the rest of the story as well! ~Stacy~ *blushes* Brit, you’ve left me here grinning like an idiot! Fangirl this way anytime! >.< You don’t know how much it tickles me that you liked the first line. First lines are just as important to me, as well. I try to make them engaging enough so you want to read more. Thanks for noticing. Also, that you can’t tell the difference between Stacy and me is really just coincidence, but we do readily acknowledge our mutual fondness for all things romance, so I’m sure that helps.Hon, if I could write you into a story with Sirius I certainly would! Of course, that would mean I could write me and Remus together too, so... ;) The funny parts in chapter 2 are all Stacy and I adore her for them! I can’t tell you how much fun we had writing this and I’m so happy that it shows through! Thanks for the most amazing review! Your encouragement is a treasure!~Michelle (The One Who Marauds... on a fangirl high)
Oh , Iove this!
Gauntlet stories are so interesting cause you can see how different writters drabble out the different prompts we're given.
I love how the "welcoming committee" joined in to save Marlene. You can almost hear Michael Jackson's "Beat It" in the background as they gather to start a fight! OK, maybe that just me...I tend to hear things.... >.<
And I love Yaxley's dialouge. It's so brash and foul. It just fits with the rough and rumble that's about to begin.
Lovely dear! A good start to a great story.
Author's Response: Marsha! *giggles* Beat It! I had a particular movie in mind when I wrote that scene, but now I can’t see the scenario any other way! I love the way you think because I so get it! >.< Thank you so much for noticing the dialogue, I tried to take special care with that. I love a man with a brash and foul mouth! ;) Thanks for the lovely review! Can’t wait to read more of yours, too!~M.
Good job so far, you too! The Sirius/Marlene is adorable ^_^
We're so glad we could feed your Sirius/Marlene shipping needs, we aim to please! Thanks for the review!
~Michelle and Stacy