Great job on your first poem!
Pros:
I love how you don't go overboard on any sort of remorse or specifics. I feel a lot of people get trapped into using 'Avada Kedavra' as perfect words to incorporate endlessly. But your poem doesn't use them, and I am grateful for how clear it makes the whole poem. What's also good is that it isn't tied down to the HP universe. That can be very limiting and constraining.
Cons:
There are only two, and they kind of relate.
1) Once or twice you slip up on your rhyming. I know it's hard to constantly find words that rhyme, but especially in the first few stanzas it's important to be consistent.
2) I think that this poem might have been improved slightly if you hadn't actually rhymed at all. If you could find a way to keep the same rhythm without rhyming I think it would be greatly improved. Obviously, this is just my opinion, and that's not always a good thing to listen to. Especially since I'm not always a fan of rhyming, since I'm terrible at it myself.
Overall, great job, amazing poem! I hope you enjoyed writing it!
You really make it seem so effortlessly simple. Good job. The poem has a nice rhyme and a spooky sort of rhythm.
On a grammatical note, you should watch your apostrophes (can't, don't, she's...)
Overall, brilliant poem. Good luck in the future!
Author's Response: thanks. i'll bear that in mind for future
Woah. That was really good. I have an OC on another site who once spent an entire chapter raving about how once you get started, killing is so easy (she's not evil, she's on Harry's side, but Voldemort killed her parents too). I will definently keep my eye out for more poetry by you.
Author's Response: im glad you liked it. theres more poetry on the way and possibly a story in the forseeable future.
It has a charming little rhyming scheme, although you could've provided more insight into the thoughts and feelings of the characters.
Author's Response: It was intended to be from Voldemort's POV so it was his view of everything. As Voldemort is only part human now he wouldnt have total human thoughts and feelings. but thanks for the review :):):)
wow dis was very gud i liked it a lot
