Reviewer: not-so-saint
Date: 08/25/08 8:35
Chapter: Issue the Second

Dear Draco,
Lately I've been having a hard time focusing on my evil goals of killing Harry Potter. My heart just isn't in it. Every day, I wake to my faithful Death Eaters expecting a masterful plan to finally destroy that wretched boy, yet all I want to do is play croquet. What should I do?
With Love,
Croquet-Obsessed"

Ohh that's just... just!!! lol *still trying to stop laughing*
Cheers! ;)

Author's Response: Definitely one of my favourites!

Reviewer: ada22
Date: 08/22/08 13:32
Chapter: Issue the First

Hi, it's me again. Thanks for including my letter. Here's my answer to Draco:


Malfoy,

Must I say you’ve completly lost it? Calling me obsessed?! Why don’t you take a better look in the mirror? Still, your idea regarding the fanclub is...quite good. I envisage excellent profit with all the lunatics declaring their undying love for you in this column. How about this: I get to manage the club, you get 30% for the name, I get the rest.

The Slytherin Prince

Author's Response: Draco is reviewing your letter (finally)!

Reviewer: ilovemagic
Date: 08/22/08 10:05
Chapter: Issue The Third

I loved the new chapter, couldn't stop laughing. anyway, I decided to write a new letter for Draco (how could one resist?)
Here I go
..................................................................

Dear Draco.
I’m nearly sixteen years old and everyone still treats me like a child and constantly belittles me. Everyone makes the assumption because I am blonde, attractive, and have an extreme interest in the opposite sex and a juicy piece of gossip means I lack any discernable level of intelligence. Even though I got all E’s and O’s in my OWLs, everyone still thinks I’m a dumb blonde, even my closest friends. It’s not my fault I have the displeasure of sharing a dorm with a bookworm with no sense of style and the highest grades in the school and no one can realise how smart I actually am. How can I change people’s perception of me, because I’m sick of being the “dumb blonde”.
Sincerely
Blonde With a Brain.
..................................................................
enjoy .
Ilovemagic.

Author's Response: Draco is reviewing your letter!

Reviewer: cwoods09
Date: 08/21/08 21:57
Chapter: Issue The Third

FABULOUS!!! Oh, I so can't wait for more of this! I'll be keeping my eye out!

Author's Response: Issue the Fourth is currently in the queue, so let's hope it gets posted soon. Draco's backlogged with letters!

Reviewer: lunarox14
Date: 08/21/08 19:18
Chapter: Issue The Third

This gets funnier by the issue! The responses you come up with are ingenious! I can't wait for the next issue!

Here's one:

Dear Draco,
Okay, I just broke up with my boyfriend because he forgot my birthday, lied to me, then ignored me for over a week. Actually, he sent me a note saying he didn't think our relationshipwasn't going anywhere. So then, I went and talked to, well...really yelled at him that "no duh our relationship isn't going anywhere! You refused to talk to me for over a week and now you don't even have the guts to break up with me to my face!" and so he asked if I wanted to be 'just friends and I'm like, "do you seriously think I'd actually want to be friends after you forgot my birthday, lied to me, then ignored me for almost two weeks?!" and he just says 'okay', and walks away! I know I'm totally over him, but I WANT REVENGE! How can I get revenge on him?!
~Nicole

Author's Response: Thanks for the kind words! Draco is reviewing your letter! ;)

Reviewer: MadThorne
Date: 08/20/08 19:48
Chapter: Issue The Third

Dear Mr Slytherin-Amazing-Draco-Ness, (Who IS obviously better than Potty).

There is a boy I like, who is actually a Slytherin, but strangely enough he keeps calling me 'harsh' for playing pranks and insulting other houses! I think he is an idiot, but that just makes me want him to like me more. Advice please? Also, When's this Slytherin calender coming, I want about seven. Forget the others, twelve mounths of you and we're all good.

Love SlytherinyStacey.

Author's Response: Draco is reviewing your letter (finally)!

Reviewer: MadThorne
Date: 08/20/08 19:44
Chapter: Issue The Third

Dear Mr Slytherin-Amazing-Draco-Ness, (Who IS obviously better than Potty).

There is a boy I like, who is actually a Slytherin, but strangely enough he keeps calling me 'harsh' for playing pranks and insulting other houses! I think he is an idiot, but that just makes me want him to like me more. Advice please? Also, When's this Slytherin calender coming, I want about seven. Forget the others, twelve mounths of you and we're all good.

Love SlytherinyStacey.

Author's Response: Draco is (finally!) reviewing your letter!

Reviewer: Sing Hallelujah
Date: 08/20/08 12:53
Chapter: Issue The Third

I love this. There are some brilliant little moments of comedy in your writing.
I really want to write a letter in to Draco-seeing his answer to something i have written would be twice as much enjoyable as seeing the answer to other peoples letters-but i am torn between two ideas. My first idea is being a slytherin who has purchased the calender and is resentful at not being in it *cough*Crabbe/Goyle*cough* but my other idea is being a certain gryffindor.
Anyways here is my gryffindor one and i hope you like it :)


Draco,
I have read all 3 of your issues and I am appalled. Leave us, i mean, the gryffindors alone. Stop calling us, i mean, the gryffindors names such as dorks, punks, drunks, dungheads, idiotheads, scarheads, brainiacs, maniacs, poo faces, loo faces, kangaroo faces, elephants bums, cows tongues,(which i still don't understand), four-eyed freaks, nerds with beaks, gingers, ninga's, stupid brave gryffindorks who are eventually going to be turned into slaves by the Dark Lord, and so on and so forth.
This is supposed to be an advice collumn but instead it is you telling us how 'amazing' you supposedly are and raving about how much better you are than everyone else!
Drop this stupid advice collumn and get a life.
Yours sincerely,
Gryffindor-at-heart.
P.S.
By the way I, I mean, Harry Potter is a much better quidditch player than you will ever be.

P.P.S.
Stop telling people to throw things at my head! I am starting to get severe concussions.






dammit.

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the note! I'm glad you're getting a laugh out of it. When I first started this story, I was worried some people wouldn't get the joke and be a little insulted instead! This turned out to be a lot of fun. I like your ideas for letters, and appreciate you joining in the fun! By the way, Draco is (finally!) reviewing your letter!

Reviewer: Raffles
Date: 08/20/08 7:15
Chapter: Issue The Third

lol. that was certainly one on the funniest pieces of writing that i have ever read. Your an awesome writer as you can write both funny and dramatic like i have read in some of your other stories. I especially liked the one with the ears (wub wub wub) it made laugh really hard!!!!! I can't wait to see what draco says next!

Author's Response: Oh, now you're going to get me started! The ear-wub thing is a funny in-joke from personal experience, and an oddly long conversation about ear-flicking. It was one of the funniest discussions of my life. Sometimes I think I may secretly be a 5-year-old, but as long as it makes us laugh, it's worth it!

Reviewer: Leah_Lovegood
Date: 08/19/08 20:52
Chapter: Issue The Third

If that other person doesn't want to head your fan club, I certainly will! We'll get jackets!

Author's Response: My head is swimming with Draco merchandise to be adopted by a fan club. You've just given me the funniest idea!

Reviewer: Sly One
Date: 08/19/08 18:55
Chapter: Issue The Third

Utterly repulsive....keep up the good work!

SLy 



Author's Response: LOL! I'll try!

Reviewer: Rosi Zeller
Date: 08/19/08 13:32
Chapter: Issue the First

Haha, this was fun. Here comes a letter for Draco!

Dear Draco,
I am very confused. You see, I'm in love in this really sexy Slytherin boy named Blaise - or, I thought he was a boy but then suddenly he was a girl, and I started wondering whether or not I was a lesbian. But then, when I finally had accepted that maybe I was a lesbian, and that it was not so bad if it meant I could be with Blaise, it turned out he had been a boy all the time! No I simply can't help but wonder what's truly underneath his (her?) clothes ... What am I supposed to do? Should I stop reading fanfiction?

Love,
Confused & Obsessed

Author's Response: Draco is (finally!) reviewing your letter!

Reviewer: Magdalene Rose
Date: 08/19/08 11:45
Chapter: Issue The Third

this is TOTALLY AWESOME! keep up the great writing!

Author's Response: I'm working on the next issue now. I hope to have it up soon!

Reviewer: GryffindorGirl163
Date: 08/19/08 11:03
Chapter: Issue The Third

lol LOVED IT!
this has to be one of the funnyest storys i ever read, right after your other one!
keep up the good work!

Author's Response: I appreciate that! Thanks, and keep reading!

Reviewer: phoenix_fille
Date: 08/19/08 9:47
Chapter: Issue The Third

OH, wow. I can't believe anyone would publish this in a school news paper , but it was really funny all the same.

Author's Response: Draco has to pass around a lot of gifts and galleons to keep it in there, but he has plenty to spare! ;)

Reviewer: phoenix_fille
Date: 08/19/08 9:28
Chapter: Issue the First

Hmm, very amusing, though msot of the population of Hogwarts is going to be rather vexed at Draco after they read this.

Author's Response: I'm counting on it! ;) Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you got some amusement out of it!

Reviewer: Schmerg_The_Impaler
Date: 08/19/08 8:36
Chapter: Issue The Third

I love how Draco gives so much romantic advice when the only girlfriend he had in school was Pansy Parkinson, who's hardly what you'd call a 'catch.'

Thanks for answering my letter! I totally forgot that one. Apparently, my young self was just as bizarre and morbid as my current self!

I love all the brilliant little things you threw in there-- ears going Wub-Wub-Wub (and Bonald Beasley, no less!), the hag with 72 cats who shakes her purse, the magical cut of ham, 'choking on a family tongue' (THAT was my favourite part), Kevin Butts and the tangent about names, Harry having warts on his bum, and calling Todd 'Hot Toddy.'

One more thing-- this is totally irrelevant, and you probably won't care at all, but... the whole thing about girls smackin' guys bums? I was watching Les Miserables, and Marius is just chilling, and then all of a sudden, Eponine runs up and SPANKS him, and he turns around and sings all nonchalantly, "Hey, Eponine, what's up today? I haven't seen you much about?" UM. That's certainly period for the 1830s...

Author's Response: Sorry for the long-overdue reply! I had to include your old letter because it was so funny! A few people have commented on it as well, so I'm glad you wrote in. Thanks for the feedback on your favourite funny bits, because it helps me write better, funnier issues! P.S. Thanks for that replay from Les Miz, I'd forgotten about that scene. I had something else to say, Schmergy, but I forgot it just now. It's getting kind of late. Maybe I'll remember later. Blargh!!!

Reviewer: Magniflorious
Date: 08/18/08 22:38
Chapter: Issue The Third

Great story! Keep it up! Here's my contribution:

Dear Draco,
I recently went on a school trip to France. During the two week stay, I sort of fell in love with this older guy who has already finished school. I flirted shamelessly the entire time. On the last day he wouldn't talk to me and when I asked why, he said he was under the impression that I liked him. Of course, I had to deny it because I didn't want him to stop talking to me. There is a slight possibility that we will both be going on another trip in two years when I am of age. Should I hold on to hope during the wait or just forget about him?
Candace, Ravenclaw, 6th year

Author's Response: Draco is (finally!) reviewing your letter!

Reviewer: HermioneGrangerfan
Date: 08/17/08 13:03
Chapter: Issue the Second

you r awsome at writing i really like this story

Author's Response: Thanks! I have other stories up, if you'd like to have a look!

Reviewer: ChaChia
Date: 08/15/08 8:41
Chapter: Issue the Second

Love it!

Draco is SO up himself!

Author's Response: Isn't that secretly why we love him so? ;)

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