I love Draco's column! And i love that he is so self-absorbed!
A letter to Draco:
Dear Draco,
My group and i have a problem. There is a new-ish girl in school and we welcomed her into our group. She was cool at first, but then, after a while, she got really weird. Like she doesn't talk at all, and then randomly she'll get really excited about something weird like, i don't know...socks! And she's made a bad reputation for herself - from situations which involve a gentlemen or two- and we're starting to think she's a bit of a...SLUT! Anywhom, the problem is that my group and i do not want US to be labled as skanks also (because we're not), and i would like to know what is a kind, but firm, way to get this girl pout of our group for GOOD.
Yours sincerely,
Please-Don't-Hate-Me-I-Haven't-Done-Anything-It-Was-Her.
Author's Response: Draco is reviewing your letter!
"Zabini gave you a bit of the o’l “Blaise-ing Bedroom-Eyes”,"
Classic! I love it!
Author's Response: Look out for an appearance from Blaise in the next Issue! ;)
Dear Draco.
So. Theirs this guy. Hes mighty fine. Very. But. He says he doesnt date. Does that make him a dud? Or is it a big fat lie? I'm not sure what to do, but I really do like him. Should I go for it? Or is he just unreachable...
With great admiration,
Alyx (yes, that is a y)
Author's Response: Draco is reviewing your letter!
Dear Draco,
My school work is impossible! I have Transfiguration, Potions and Charms every day! They are all N.E.W.T classes too! Can you tell me how to deal with out losing my mind?
Love you!
The Slytherin Angel
Author's Response: Draco is reviewing your letter!
This has a literally TOXIC level of snark! Must be teken in small doses! Savored like a fine red whine LOL!
Keep it up!
SLy
Author's Response: I had to read this twice, your review cracked me up!
Dear Draco,
Could you possibly give me Lovestruck Knitter's name? I love knitting and I would love a boyfriend who knits! It's some thing that we can have in common.....
Loves to Knit
Author's Response: Draco is reviewing your letter!
yay!! another issue! This one is so funny it made me laugh really really hard and i almost couldn't breathe which wasn't very good. I especially liked how you asnwered to the poem! great issue! can't wait for the next one
Author's Response: Oh, dear! I love making you guys laugh, but keep a paper bag around if you can't breath, or something! Thanks for the note, I'm happy to hear so many people liked this Issue. I'm hammering out the next one now!
Dear Draco,
There is a guy who is so full of himself and hes got the worst scar in the world! I think he should transfigure himself into an arrdvark and live in a cage on ants. He is so annoying and I can't get rid of him! Can you help me?
From, Aardvark Girl
This is just for laughs, there really is no guy, but i based him on Dracos view of Harry Potter, so...yea. i loved this story!
Author's Response: Draco is reviewing your letter! ;)
Dear Draco,
Well, you were right: Matt snogged his girlfriend all summer and ignored us! Not to mention the fact that both of them are extremely fond of Public Displays of Affection. They're so SAPPY. Now we're back at Hogwarts, and I'm ready to get back at him. I've teamed up with one of his guy friends (who's just as sickened as I am by their lovey-dovey-ness), and we're coming up with ways to bug them whenever they try to have a public moment. Got any good ideas?
Tired of Tactful and Ready for Revenge
Author's Response: Draco is reviewing your letter!
hahahaha
Author's Response: I love making you guys laugh!
You used the letter from heather before.
Author's Response: Which one is it, so I can edit? Oops...
Dear Draco,
I can't help it, I'm obsessed with muggle stuff. How do airplanes FLY! How does the fellytone work. My muggleborn friend hates it when i come and take apart all her stuff. My parents say im just like my Granddad Weasley. My friends get really annoyed when I start on my plug collection. What can I do?
With Love,
Muggle-obsessed
Author's Response: Draco is reviewing your letter!
Dear Draco,
Few days ago my hamster Mojo was killed by certain bushy-haired Grifindors gingery cat. At first I just wanted to kill that stupid flat-faced animal! But then I started to consider other options. Like hexing cats owner for not looking after her pet properly. Or maybe I should do both. I can’t choose so I decided to ask you. And if you think that hexing the girl is the best option then I would be very grateful if you suggested me some powerful hex.
So… what should I do?
Thanks a lot,
Determined
P.S. Are you really a Sex God or it’s just a rumour?
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hi! so here's my letter. and if you use it you are absolutely welcome to edit it! because english isn't my native. so i'm not sure that i got it right...
and i'm loving the fourth issue! great job :)
Author's Response: Draco is reviewing your letter! And don't fret, your English is just fine! Better than some natives I know, even! Thanks for reading and for writing in!
another great chapter! can't wait for the next
Author's Response: The queue has been closed temporarily, but I'll be working on the next Issue til then! Thanks for reading!!
Ok, I'll give this a whirl, since you keep me laughing
Dear Draco, I have a wonderful boyfriend who is very sweet and loving and all. My problem is that I also find myself looking at and even falling for other boys, who never seem to like me. Any advice?
From, Can't Help Falling in Love
Author's Response: Draco is reviewing your letter!
Yay!!!!!!! You used my letter!!!!!!!! And the answer was super funny!!!!!!!
Huggles From HermyStar
Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it!!
I've got such a big smile on my face from reading your story! The best part was, "Flick their ears! It’s quite humourous. Not only does the victim get quite perturbed, but ears make a hilarious sound like wub-wub-wub!"
LOL I just started to laugh so loud when I read that! Very funny! Can't wait to see what more "wisdom" Draco has to offer.
HPAndHG4ever
Author's Response: I think that's my favourite, because it still makes me laugh. (I'm not ashamed to say that I have a silly sense of humour!!) Thanks for the note, I love hearing that you've got a big smile on your face from reading my story. Makes my day!
Yes, another issue! Haha I love it. So sad my letter wasn't in it, but then again it wasn't one of my best. Here's another that I hope you consider:
Dear Draco,
I'm a fifth year at Hogwarts, but even after such a long stay here, I'm still creeped out by the ghosts. I'm a muggleborn, and I've always been a bit of a scaredy-cat, so I just can't seem to stop getting the shivers everytime a ghost passes me in the hallway. Everyone else in the school seems to get along fine with most of the ghosts, so I feel like my fears are irrational. What should I do?
Love,
Horrified in Hufflepuff
Author's Response: Sorry about that, I had to weed some letters out because I'm so backlogged! But don't count it out just yet; it may appear in Issue the Fourth, which is sitting in the queue right now. Til then, Draco is definitely reviewing this letter. Check back soon to see Issue the Fourth when it posts!
This is absolutely, positively, completely fantabulous! I wish I'd thought of something this brilliant - I truly love this idea and it's pretty cool how you actually sound like Draco lol..!! How could I possibly resist not participating? Well, here goes:
To Draco,
I've been trying to get in touch with you for the past few weeks, but apparently you've been busy with your mushy-gushy advice column, responding to lovey-dovey letters and coochie-cooing the girls! Why didn't you let me in on this, mate?! Anyway, I came across the Third Issue and was pleasently surprised when I read some some of the letters - particularly the ones referring to me (yes, I do know that B.Z is Blaise Zambini, people!). No wonder girls have been randomly smacking my bottom - you've been giving them advice! Speaking of which, you know that 'Blaise-ing Bedroom-Eyes' that you apparently taught me? Well, it doesn't seem to be working is it? The girls aren't sashaying over to me, but instead they're asking you for advice!
I just wand to take this chance to say: Ladies! Don't be shy to approach me! Stop writing to Drakie-bloody-poo and instead, come look for me sometimes! Also, I'll find out who you naughty witches are - I never forget the faces of those who have touched my backside!
With love,
B.Z
Well that was fun! If you do happen to post this up, feel free to correct any grammar mistakes and so on!! Keep up the awesome work!! (Notice how the letter starts off with 'To Draco' and ends with 'With love'...!!) *winks*
Author's Response: Hey there, sunshine! You've just reminded me... have you updated Journey on Water yet? I was left at that kiss... and Hermione leaving! I haven't checked back recently, but I'm going to try in a moment. And they say *I* write naughty cliffies! Thanks for the letter, I love it. I can't wait to work it into Issue the Fifth. (Issue the Fourth is currently in the queue). Very clever! Take care!
Wub-wub-wub,,, Oh Gosh!! :D
Your story makes me laugh so hard! Keep up the good work - update soon!
p.s. maybe i could write a letter to Draco too?
Author's Response: I'm glad I'm getting a laugh out of so many people! This is a really rewarding story to write. Definitely, if you have a question for Draco or need some advice, write in!
