Yay! Keep Writing! Brilliant Work =] =]!
update it update it pretty please please???????????
agh more more!
Quickly, now, quickly! This is intriuging stuff
Aww, why can't Sirius run around naked covered in chocolate? That would be as amusing as hell. I think you're an awesome writer and I would really love to read more. It's a very different to the James/Lilly relationship and I'm loving it.
I liked it, mate. It's not how I imagined James but I think that's why I like it so much - it was different and a lot more prevocative than all the other stuff I've read.
I like your story a lot. I hope you'll update soon :D
Nice chapter! One of the things I like about it is how you get James reaction right to Lily's game. It's just how he's react, and I think you've managed that considerably well... Another thing I like is your descriptions in the beginning...how you set everything up and then brought in the characters. It helped with the development of your story. I wonder what James will tell Lily... keep up the great job!
Damn, your stories are so good. The only one I haven't read is the one with Hermione and Snape. But that's because I really don't agree with that. This story isn't any different from any of your other ones, it is excellent. Now I have to read to other 4 chapters.
Look- are you EVER going to update?
update already!! im dyin out here!!!
love love LOOOOVE this story! It's like my mentor story! Update soon!!!!!!! ~SM
ok i know i already reviewed but i jsut have to say.... im not really liking that you have "chapter 5 is here' cause i get so excited! ( i check all my favs almost everyday...this is one of them) i think i have read this chapter quite a few times because i thought it was a new one. a bit embarassing but true ahah update soooon!
Now, although I know that really I should be giving you a severe shouting at for the excruciatingly long gap between updates, I can't quite bring myself to do it. The reason being; this chapter was just too damn good And if you think that this one is rubbish I can't wait to see the deliciously yummy one that we have all been promised. :)
So, to start of with, we have the brilliant way in which you wrote Lily berating herself for Kissing James and the subtle yet efficient way you described her denying her love when it so obviously exists.
Next on the menu of your excellent characterization we've got a lovesick Sirius. (I mention him because although we don't actually hear from him first-hand untill the end, we still get Lily talking about him.) The idea of Sirius in love is too cute to think about *fangirl squee* but I think the way you said that Lily wouldn't use him to get back at James was a good way of showing how serious he was about his feelings.
Last character I want to go into before I bore everybody out of their minds is Cocky!James. I think you portray him brilliantly, especially when Lily describes him towards the beginning of the chapter. I thought this line was great:
And with a single wink he could melt the hearts of hundreds.
I think it works so well, and it sounds almost poetic. I put that down to the alliteration of hearts and hundreds. Anyway, I think you have got James down to a tee, especially when he opens the note not meant for him and starts to surmise a plan...
All in all an incredibly enjoyable chapter, congratulations to you for writing it, and thankyou for giving me a chance to practice my long rambling form of summarising. Lol. 10/10 xxxDquillxxx
I loved this chapter! this is one of the best J/L fics I've read.
sirius covered in chocolate.....ahhhh!!!!!
Hey! First time commenting here. I was just skimming thru my favourites, and I was SO GLAD because you're the only who updated. Yay. Your writing is awesome, and I liked that little casual conversation about butter and cheese. By the way, please, please update really soon. I really wanna know what James is up to. This is getting oh so juicy.
hey! you cant leave it like that!! nooooooooo hahah please please update! update update!
All Hail, Queen of Serpents is right! great start! i think its jsut right with the drama and the mesmerizing eyes haha. very nice touch.