I liked your poem; I always wondered what Snape thought before he died.
I love how you captured Snape's feelings before his death. It was very creepy, and it sounded like what Snape would think. It's interesting that you describe Snape as afraid before he dies. I always imagined that he would be hopeful because then he would finally get to be with Lily again. Is he afraid that he didn’t do enough to redeem himself in Harry’s eyes?
I liked the format of the poem. The rhyme is a bit irregular; some of them are perfect rhymes, like heart and depart, but others, like body and flee, don't seem to fit as well. Is this on purpose, to show that Snape is getting distracted as he's dying? It distracts from the flow.
Green eyes stab into my heart
. . . and I feel all my hope depart.
This was my favorite part. I love how Harry's green eyes seem to pain him; it reminds him of Lily and of all the wrong he's done. They seem to haunt him; they're the symbol of all the wrong he's done.
Overall, I really liked this poem. You did a good job capturing Snape's final thoughts.
~ Teresa
Author's Response: Thankssss Theresa. I admit, my rhyming skills are so great. [hehe...] I appreciate the feedback. =]
That was amazing! You totally blew my mind. This is totally one of my favorites now! :)
Author's Response: THANK YOU! =D
Once again you have astounded me with your brillant words of excellence. Amazing job, I loved every bit.
-Haylee
Author's Response: Thanks Haylee, I always appreciate your feedback. =]
I thought this was very good!
Author's Response: Why, thanks you!
*sniff* poor snape! i cried at that part in the book lol good poem!
Author's Response: That was a really sad part, and I've never been a Snape fan. =[ Thanks for the review!
I liked
Sorrow drowns out my future . . . and of my fate, I am sure.
Nice poem.
P.S. I WANT CHAI COFFEE!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: Thanks! Glad you liked that line. And chai coffee sounds good...
Laura! Laura Laura Laura. You have so many incredible fics! I'm glad to see a new one! I have read all of yours, and needed something new. So,
Only then, am I
afraid.
^^Definitely my favorite part. Poor Snape. He was pretty cool. I think this captured his emotions perfectly. 1000000/10. Excellent job! {BeccA}
P.S. First review!!!1 *squees* Sorry, really hyper after having some kind of chai coffee!!!!!!!!! *squees again*
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing Becca. I never really liked Snape but I had to write a poem for my class and I started writing and I thought it fit Snape. ^^ And chai coffe sounds yummy. =P Thanks again for the compliments.
