Reviewer: Hermione_Rocks
Date: 06/10/08 22:58
Chapter: An Artificial Ghost Story

Hmm. Interesting story, love. To be honest, I'm not really sure what to think of this fic. Your writing style was, as always, brilliant. You bring such tone and life to all your stories, it's great. But the actual premise behind this one was hard for me to reall . . . get into.

I gathered that the family was Salazar and Rowena, along with little Helena. That's who it seemed to be at least, with all the comments about the school and such. It was a little strange, having their story told from the point of view of an anonymous ghost. I mean, I know that the ghost kept pointing the blame to himself, that he was the reason this little family fell apart -- but it didn't seem like the ghost did any demolishing or destroying. The family seemed like it collapsed on its own; Rowena and Salazar were arguing because they disagreed, not because of what the ghost did. The ghost was just there. Or was that your intent? To have this narrator who blames himself, yet in reality he couldn't be more separated from the problems? What I'm trying to say is that all the pieces of your story didn't seem to fit together. You had this ghost, and then you had this family, and I didn't see how they were really 'linked' apart from the fact that the ghost was 'observing'.

Well, you have definitely given me something to think about. Thanks for a nice read, even if I don't think I entirely "grasped" the fic, haha.

Author's Response: The family was Salazar and Rowena and Helena. As for how the ghost fits in...remember how in the poetry I showed you a while ago, some of the poems personified time, in a way? Well, I sort of imagined the ghost being time...in some weird, more personified form *knows this isn't making any sense*. And when I said that he made it harder for Salazar to build the castle, I used that as a way to start a series of event (caused by his stress about finishing the castle) that led to his leaving his family. Even though the ideas about blood was the main reason according to canon, I imagined that that also happened after these events caused by the ghost took place. So although a lot of what the ghost did was observe the family, he had also led to parent's divorce.rnrnAnywho, thanks for the review! I don't know how much sense this makes, so let me know if you want more clarification :).

Reviewer: snpdrgn
Date: 06/04/08 12:47
Chapter: An Artificial Ghost Story

Thought I'd give you a review since you didn't have many.  I both liked and disliked this story.  I think I see what you were trying to do, but it still seemed too generic.  It leaves the reader with a lot of unanswered questions and just when they thought they understood the story you were telling, you turned it back to the "ghost" since it's actually about it and it's existence.  Basically the story about the family is not important, but rather how watching them has affected the ghost.

I personally would have also liked to find out more details about the family so some of the questions the reader is left with get answered.

Reviewer: Elf01
Date: 06/02/08 11:03
Chapter: An Artificial Ghost Story

It was a well written fic. Are the characters anyone in paticular or just any family?

Author's Response: The characters are Salazar and Rowena and Helena...thanks for the review!

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