I read Elisabeth before reading this, so I knew snippets of Persephone's life, and I read this simply wanting to grasp the background to Elisabeth.
This, however, well surpassed any expectations I had. Incredible.
I felt like as Persephone grew and developed I grew alongside her, as I too went from being entranced by Charles to realising he could never be the man for her. This really is a credit to your character development, as Charles never did anything that was out of character, despite his transition from loveable to loath-able, he still seemed human.
I have to say I've gotten quite attached to Persephone, and I love how this fic really reflects her growing up, as she goes from being a girl who's happy to admit she merely wants to get married and not work to being someone who's unafraid to fight for herself, and can stand up for herself, even to those who she loves.
Her refusal to let Charles back into her life is incredibly symbolic of her growth, for she is able to cast her feelings and his manipulation aside, instead acting rationally on behalf of both herself and her daughter.
In case you haven't gathered by now, I simply loved this. I read it in two hours flat and despite being desperate to know the ending I admit to being disappointed it's over!
The only (very minor!) criticism I have is the attitude to divorce. Divorce is referenced multiple times, yet as this is set in the late 50's/early 60's I struggle to believe divorce would have been so rampant, particularly in the traditional, uptight wizarding community. Divorce in our own society is only in recent years starting to lose the stigma, so I doubt it would have been so accepted in the nineteen sixties, especially amongst wizards.
That, however, is just my opinion on the matter, and it doesn't at all detract from how much I loved it.
Well done for such a spectacularly human story.
Just read the story in one sitting (took hours, though)! I honestly can't believe that Charles turned out to be such a bastard - I mean, there was a part of me that was always wondering, guessing that he wasn't as perfect as he seemed (which is a tribute to your fantastic characterization of him), but his turning out to be so pathetic was really shocking. Still, I love how realistic you made this story. I really, really enjoyed it, great job!
This is fantastic! I'm on chapter 2 and so far Charles is reminding me of Snape (which can only be a good thing) and I like him quite a bit! Your story is engaging and Persephone is shaping up to be quite an interesting character. :D
Almost a year after you posted this story, I came back to re-read it. I stayed up and finished the entire thing---this is hands down one of my favorite fanfictions!
It's just as charming as it was a year ago :)
Um, wow! I have to say, I am not normally a reviewer, but after 53 chapters, I feel compelled to say that this was AMAZING. Having read it all at once, I think that I can safely say that, from beginning to end, I saw a maturation of both your writing and your characters. The character growth really is what stuns me the most, because it was done so subtly, so well. Never once was I left wondering how such-and-such character could have done such a thing, because I saw the progression that led them to where they were. And I have to say, that last chapter... 52? It was so good. So good! I felt like cheering. Good for Persephone!
I think that the thing I liked the most about this fic was the fact that it made me think. It confronted issues, and it did it realistically and soberly. The beginning might have been a bit... heady... but as Persephone grew older, and ESPECIALLY once she became pregnant, I felt like the story gently forced the reader to consider some things. Since I currently have a boyfriend who doesn't believe in marriage (and one whom my family is not thrilled about), I have to say that this fic meant something extra to me... Following Persephone through her decisions and errors really did inspire me to think some about things that maybe I don't particularly want to think about. I love that you didn't make every relationship end perfectly, but at the same time, you weren't bent on trashing the idea of long-term relationships (Claude and Lorelei are a lovely example). I can't even begin to express how much THINKING this made me do. I stopped several times and just sat back and thought about the world you were creating, and how it related to our own. That shows depth as a writer. Your world was fully realized enough that it could do that for me.
I don't write fan fiction, but I do write original works, and characterization is something I am constantly striving to improve. I think it safe to say that I learned something from your piece.
As one last note, I would like to say that I approve of the name Persephone. I don't know if you chose it on purpose, but I feel as if it does have symbolic significance. It's not a direct parallel to the mythical character, but it relates, and I like how it relates. With her family troubles and troubled relationship with Charles, I was drawing connections between your Persephone and her Greek counterpart. And in the end, she came out the strongest... triumphant even.
I will certainly be looking into more of your writing. Very well done.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I can't even express how amazing it is to get reviews like this. I'm glad I made you think, and that you enjoyed the story. Once again, thank you for reading! =]
AHH! That was me screaming when I saw that this story was updated. :D
I've been following it since it's early chapters and I'm extremely pleased with how it ended and how your writing has progressed.
You're very talented, and thank you so so so so much for taking the time to publish this story. I truly enjoyed reading it, and I'm not even exaggerating when I say that sometimes the only thing that could have made me smile is seeing that this story was updated. Again, thank you for sharing this experience with us :)
Godspeed for the rest of your works--I hope you continue to write!
The end!! I can't believe it!! The right decision... accepting her family was the last thing left to make her entirely mature - I'm glad you avoided the token perfect boyfriend! Congratulations, and thanks for providing so much entertainment for the last year or so!
Gr8 way 2 end the story , I'm glad that pers has made amends with her family , and that she has learnt 2 deal with problems , .
I'm waiting 4 the epilogue , BTW i really lyk the way u wrote perfect .
Wow, what an epic, congratulations!! As usual, an ending completely free of clichés and predictable...ness. Even though she's definitively achieved her independence, her strength, life is not perfect. You had some wonderfully subtle bleakness in the opening of that chapter... Persephone's lone cigarette... winter 'drifting' around. Marvellous choice of words. I look forward to reading the very very end, although I will miss it!
yay she finally got her anger out. now only if she could make ammends with her family in the end. great story. i'm sad to see it end.
Rickert is still such a child , and I lyk the fact that persephone has becum strong .
God I love this story. ;)
What a wonderful chapter--I think it satisfied all the cravings for closure that we've had since Rickert left. The man is a tool. But, I adore this story, and I'm so glad that somewhere along the way, Persephone grew a backbone and became her own person. I'm so proud of her, even though she is a fictional character. :D
You have real talent as a writer, I hope you keep it up!
I look forward to buying a novel with your name on it someday. :) :) :)
Congratulations for writing a great story.
What a great chapter! I truly sympathize with your loss and thank you for continuing to write this wonderful story even though you're suffering. Continue to be strong and I'm sure that your cousin would love this chapter. Your story is amazing. :)
I really lyk this chapter , although the fight between pers and calvin was unpredictable . That is what made this chapter good .
Oh , i'm sorry that your cousin died . May she rest in peace.
I'm looking forward 2 the next chapter . Wnn r u goina update?
Author's Response: Thanks so much! These last couple weeks have been kind of crazy...I'm trying to get my early decision app in for college, and my cousin actually just passed away, so I really haven't had much time for fanfiction. The next update should be coming within the next few weeks, though. Thanks!
