MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: bella-weasley (Signed) · Date: 09/25/09 20:26 · For: Chapter 1
OMG I've never smiled or laughed so hard in my life not even reading 'when moddy lost his glass eye' (if you havent read it then you should so funny) but anyways great story I loved it

Name: Soccer_rocks_likeHP (Signed) · Date: 08/03/09 11:49 · For: Chapter 1
Terri, this is a very cute fic! Everyone is perfectly kept in character and this seems like just what JK would have put in to explain the picture. You really bring the feeling of a loving family (not to mention a great Maraudery feeling) to this story. Great work!

Name: Dory_the_Fishie (Signed) · Date: 07/01/09 1:10 · For: Chapter 1
I think this a very cute idea for a fic, but unfortunately I was left a little disappointed when I finished reading.

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and though it was hot, there was a breeze. See, I found this opening pretty uninteresting. There’s so much potential here for some lovely description. The first sentence could maybe be all right; it isn’t totally engrossing, but there’s opportunity to expand in the next few sentences. The second sentence, though, could be improved, I think. Rather than simply saying that ‘there was a breeze,’ you could describe how the breeze is flowing over the bright summer day or something like that.

I thought it was slightly odd that Sirius addressed Lily as ‘my dearest Lily.’ I can’t really see him calling her that; it seems like something he would call her if they were together (and as fond as I am of Sirius/Lily, obviously this isn’t a fic for that -wink-). I can see ‘dearest Lily,’ without the ‘my.’ But I probably would have gone with a simple ‘Dear Lily.’

The sight that greeted her brought tears of pure happiness to her eyes. I appreciate some fluff as much as the next person, but I found this line a bit overdone. I think part of it is just in the wording, though. ‘Tears of pure happiness’ sounds a little overly sentimental. I think it’s totally plausible that Lily could have teared up at seeing James with Harry, but I don’t know about ‘tears of pure happiness.’ It’s all in how you say it.

I can’t help but notice some small technical errors in this fic. I won’t point them all out, since that’s a beta’s job, but I would just say to make sure to give your fics a thorough final look before posting them. Also, thoughts don’t need to be in quotation marks; italics suffice.

The image of Harry riding around on his toy broom is adorable. I like that Bathilda comes over for his birthday and is the one to snap the picture. That’s very cute. I also love that James goes to find his old Snitch – a nice little look to Harry’s future. I have to say I was a little confused about what time of day this is set during. Lily’s preparing a birthday tea, but then she says Harry needs a breakfast. I would have thought tea would be in the afternoon/evening, if it was a separate deal rather than just part of breakfast. And then at the end there’s mention of a birthday cake, which I would expect to be eaten later and not with breakfast.

Overall I found this to be a sweet fic. Very nice idea that could have been maybe a bit better executed, but in general, good job!

Name: weasleywannabe47 (Signed) · Date: 08/12/08 19:58 · For: Chapter 1
That was amazing!I loved everything!

Author's Response: Thank you for your kind words. I am working on a couple one-shot follow ups to this story. Hopefully they will be done soon. Terri

Name: MJ_Padfoot (Signed) · Date: 07/21/08 19:12 · For: Chapter 1
Oh cute! I love this Terri! You did a wonderful job on it! Long live James and Lily! ~MJ

Author's Response: MJ, Thanks so much. Keep an eye out, this is the beginning of a series of one shots with Lily and James. Terri

Name: parakeetsrox (Signed) · Date: 06/13/08 10:28 · For: Chapter 1

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Terri

Name: MerrryD (Signed) · Date: 06/10/08 10:58 · For: Chapter 1
Terri! -squishes-

Aww! That was so sweet and adorable. My eyes started to water. -sniff- ;)

I love your summary. It's really interesting and it's a great beginning to your story. I really like how it's a beginning and a summary of the story.

We both know James doesn’t qualify for that job.

Sirius's letter was great. It was very IC of Sirius, especially this line. It made me laugh.

Then spotting the cat, Harry started to chase after it.

haha. I love this. Harry nearly killed the cat.

James said, his pride in his son evident in his voice.

James. A father. -gasps-

The way that you worked the photograph being taken into the story was great. And the way you implied why Snape would tear it several years later.

I also really like the way you show the relationship between James and Lily. It's very IC for both of them and it seems very believable and real. They seem like such a happy couple and then only three months later.... -sniff-

Terri you are so brilliant. This is absolutely amazing.


Author's Response: Mere, Thank you for your lovely words. The line from Sirius's letter was added after my beta, Kate suggested it originally sounded too formal and too much like Remus. So, I added a bit of humor to it. I'm glad to know it worked. I had fun writing this one-shot and I have a plot bunny starting with another companion piece. Thanks again for your review. Terri

Name: Afifa (Signed) · Date: 06/05/08 4:44 · For: Chapter 1
Omg, Terri! This one shot was really sweet. Sirius-ly. I loved it! Great job! (Y)

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I am glad you enjoyed it. Terri

Name: h_vic (Signed) · Date: 06/04/08 18:24 · For: Chapter 1
This is a very sweet, little snippet that fits so well into the framework of what we know and yet adds something so fresh. It’s always satisfying to see a little bit of the background of a seemingly inconspicuous canon moment woven in so colourfully.

It’s quite unusual to come across a story that actually shows the Potters as a contented family – rather than focussing on the horrors of being in hiding and Order members being killed. You have just enough subtle mentions of everything that’s going on outside of their quiet home to make it convincing but without marring the genuinely heart-warming nature of this story.

It was lovely to see James’ pride in his son and Lily’s concerns – it made them come to life, not as individuals or as a couple, as we so often see them, but as parents. It was also a nice piece of continuity in characterisation that Harry should be as reckless and fearless when it comes to flying as a toddler as he was in later life.

I really enjoyed the allusion to the depth of friendship and understanding between Sirius and James too that James can read between the lines of Sirius’ letters in a way that Lily can’t.

Lily knew if there was one thing that would get her son off the new broom, it was the promise of a treat.

This was the only moment that didn’t entirely work for me, because it seemed that, whilst children may fairly easily be distracted by food, it just struck me as perhaps a little too much of a Ron-like moment rather than relating exactly to Harry.

I also noticed a tiny bit of an awkward repetition:

Even she could see that he was going to be just like his daddy, a Quidditch star.

She knew her son would surpass even his father at the game. He would one day be a Quidditch star.

They aren’t overly close together, but ‘a Quidditch star’ is quite a distinctive phrase, and the repetition just stood out for me without appearing to have a particular stylistic purpose.

But those little niggles aside, which are really minor, it’s a very enjoyable snapshot.


Author's Response: Hannah, Thank you for your lovely words. I am going to rephrase the Quidditch star part. As fas as the food part, I wasn't thinking of Ron, I was thinking more to the fact he didn't get treats with the Dursley's and how much he enjoyed the birthday cakes everyone sent him during Dudley's diet. On my last reread of DH, the plot bunny jumped into my brain when Harry put the torn photo into the pouch. It meant so much to him. I wondered at the story behind it. Since canon didn't give us one, I let the plot bunny have at it. Thanks again for your review. Terri

Name: sam_1034_lily (Signed) · Date: 06/03/08 19:46 · For: Chapter 1
i luved it gud job

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I am glad you liked it. Terri

Name: portugueselady (Signed) · Date: 06/03/08 15:43 · For: Chapter 1
very cute history. I love it! the little Harry is so cute...

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I had to explore the history of the photograph. Terri

Name: Kcharles (Signed) · Date: 06/03/08 13:00 · For: Chapter 1
Awwww, that's so adorable! I loved the story, it was very cute and very well writen. Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Thank you for your kind words. I am glad you loved it. Terri

Name: luinrina (Signed) · Date: 06/03/08 7:26 · For: Chapter 1
This is sweet and very well written. I'm looking forward to read more.

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. This story is finished, however, I have another plot bunny hopping around in my mind about another time of Harry's babyhood. Terri

Name: x_lily_evans_x (Signed) · Date: 06/03/08 6:19 · For: Chapter 1
Aww, this is so cute. I love how they interact with each other, it's very natural and they're like a family. It's a lovely story, and I enjoyed reading it. (:


Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I am glad you enjoyed it. I always thought they were the perfect family until Voldemort tore them apart. Terri

Name: Elf01 (Signed) · Date: 06/03/08 3:37 · For: Chapter 1
I like how it was Bathilda who took the photo, and how Harry was showing flying abiiity and wouldn't get down until Lily promised him a treat.

Author's Response: I wondered instantly when I read about the photo who took it. In my mind, it could only have been Bathilda. Thank you for your review. Terri

Name: butterbeer_HaNgOvEr (Signed) · Date: 06/03/08 2:09 · For: Chapter 1
this is great! it makes me cry though, seeing the life Harry could've had, but didn't. Curse Voldemort....

Author's Response: Yes, he could have had a wonderful life, but then he wouldn't be the Harry Potter we love. Thank you for your review. Terri

Name: butterbeer_HaNgOvEr (Signed) · Date: 06/03/08 2:08 · For: Chapter 1
this is great! it makes me cry though, seeing the life Harry could've had, but didn't. Curse Voldemort....

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. Terri

Name: ravenclawgirl93 (Signed) · Date: 06/03/08 1:03 · For: Chapter 1
THIS IS SO GOOD!!!! it is the sweetest fan fic i have ever read! thankyou so much for posting! you rock!

Author's Response: Thank you for your lovely words. I am glad you enjoyed it. Terri

Name: evester (Signed) · Date: 06/02/08 23:01 · For: Chapter 1
I loved this! You are so good at one-shots, Terri, but then I have only read the one about Bill... Anyway, I love how you brought in Bathilda, and that Dumbledore had the cloak, everything fits so well.

*sniffles* it's so sad to read something like this that shows just how normal a family they were, before IT happened. But it was a really cute story.

Author's Response: Thank you for your lovely words. I am glad you enjoyed it. Yes, it is sad to think of what could have been, but, Harry wouldn't be the Harry we love without IT happening. Terri

Name: rhiannon113 (Signed) · Date: 06/02/08 20:59 · For: Chapter 1
*Tear* So sweet. Baby Harry...excellent job.

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I wondered what the story was behind the photo as soon as I read about it. I enjoyed writing a happy time in Harry's life. Terri

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