shouldn't this story take place in 1980, if Hermione is to return to wherever on the day she was born, not her first birthday?? although that fact confused me slightly, i really liked this story, it was well written and intriguing
It's a good thing that you explained when and where this one-shot is taking place, because even though the story is really interesting, I have to admit that I was a bit lost while reading it. And I also had many questions forming in my mind, about Hermione's age and how this was possible. But now, I just know that I'll have to wait for the said chaptered fic to see my questions answered. I hope you know that you're torturing your readers Megan, by posting your story in disorder! I didn't read your other one-shot yet, but I intend to soon.
I've never read a Sirius/Hermione fic before, and I have to admit that yours is pretty good. Even though we don't see them interact that much, I can feel how intense their feelings are for each other, just by your descriptions, by the way they act and look at each other. I must say that it's what I noticed first in your writing, your descriptions. It made me feel like I was there, in the little office, watching them behave in front of my eyes. I could almost hear the thunder roar outside my own window, and the ticking of the clock was getting pretty annoying. At some points I was holding my breath from the intensity of your narration. I didn't want her to go either! Poor Sirius, he looked so devastated!
You know, your story reminds me of a book that I read a while ago, a series actually, written by Diana Gabaldon, I don't know if you read it. The main character, a woman, travels from time periods to another and meets the love of her life while she's aways from home. Even though you don't tell how Hermione manages to travel through time, I had flashes of that series in my head when she disappeared. I hope you'll post your WIP soon, because I want to know now how those two met! You seem to have a great plot! *gives two thumbs-up*
I’ve always sort of wanted to read a Sirius/Hermione fic, but I never did get around to finding one that interested me enough to click. Then I saw this fic on your author’s page, and I thought it was a pretty safe bet that it would be good, and I was right.
I think the overall idea of this, that Hermione has somehow gone back in time and formed a romantic relationship with Sirius, is quite intriguing. Obviously we don’t have all the details here, but we don’t really need them. It’s enough to know that this isn’t an older Sirius with a school-age Hermione, that they’re around the same age, that there’s some messing with time thing going on. You give us enough information to be able to understand the relationship, or at least to understand this part of it. In fact, I have to commend you on doing such a good job getting the idea across, because it could have so easily been terribly confusing. It wasn’t, though, and that’s an achievement in itself.
I’m going to make a suggestion here that you can completely ignore, because it might completely screw up what you were going for in this fic. And also because this fic is finished, so I have no expectations of you going back and changing it now just because I mention something. But, I’ll say it anyway, just as something for you to perhaps think about later. I think the flashback in this piece might actually work better as not a flashback, but simply a part of the narration, placed in the beginning. It’s tough to comment on the way this fic is put together, because it does work, but I felt like, when I read the flashback, I was reading something from years ago, rather than from days. It left me thinking something huge had happened, and Sirius was coming back after a long time instead of (comparatively) any time at all. It wouldn’t be enough to simply un-italicize the flashback and move it up, obviously; it would take some re-working altogether, to see how the pieces would fit well and all of that, but…um, yes. That’s all. It’s just an idea I had while reading, and like I said, it’s just something to think about and not really something I think you should go back and change.
Hermione as a character I think you’ve captured very well here. She can be so tricky, in my opinion, but I liked her in this fic. It felt like Hermione. Of course, the dynamic of a Hermione from the future and Sirius from the past offers a lot of interesting ways to go with each of their characters, but I think you found a balance. It works.
All of that said, I’m now off to read the companion to this fic. Thanks for writing such a lovely Sirius/Hermione fic; you did a really nice job.
Aww, I just finished reading Atonement today. Those lines are in the book, too, by the way. I absolutely adore that movie.
Anyway... your fic. lol.
I really like the way you seem to begin your fics--at least, the ones I've heard. You start by setting the scene, and you do it well. I could hear the storm almost as if it were outside my own window, and I could picture the house vividly. I do so love your imagery and descriptions, dear.
I had meant to write this review as I usually do for SPEW--as I go along, taking out little bits I liked and whatnot. But I found myself sucked into the story, almost unable to pause and scroll down to jot down a thought. I simply had to keep reading. You have a way of writing that completely engulfs the reader and I love it.
This is the first time I've ever read your Sirius in any sort of romance, and you'll still down an wonderful job with his character. It was definitely believeable. Hermione I'm not so sure about, but she wasn't exactly terrible. It may be that I don't read much of Hermione, though. Although, the one story I did read also happened to be a Sirius/Hermione, and your Hermione sort of reminds me of that Hermione...
Anyway, before I get too rambly, for their purposes, both characters did well. I loved the way you describe both of their reactions to each other throughout the fic. The way you had them conveying things they couldn't say through their eyes was well done, and I liked the kiss [or kisses] as well. I think I would like to see more romances from you, as much as I love Thoughts in the Abyss.
The title and the concept you went with was absolutly wonderful. I really like the different ways you used the line throughout the fic. It really gives the title and the fic itself a lot more depth and meaning, I think.
The one thing that sort of bothered me, though, is all the things left unexplained. I know you said in the author's note that it could be a chaptered fic, and I found myself thinking that as well as I was reading. We don't know how she got there, or why; we don't know how they fell in love or why it had to be this birthday that she would go back to wherever she was. These things and others I would have liked to have explained. However, I was settled slightly in the fact that you at least explained yourself in the author's note and you know that there are still things left unsaid.
I believe that is all I wanted to say. now I'm even more eager to beta your next Sirius/Hermione.
It kind of confused me at first how they both ended up 22 at the same time... but it was still really beautiful, and sad, and I really want to know more about this pairing.
I like your writing style, and this is a really good idea. it is really well written and i think that it is really deep. good job.
Author's Response: Thank you so much, sick_atxxheart.
Wow, I really loved this.
I hope you do post the chaptered fic, I look forward to it.
A pairing that I hadn't read and now love!
Author's Response: Oh, thank you very much, Cassie. I'm glad you enjoyed this, and as more and more of the ideas for the chaptered fic become clearer in my head, it's becoming easier to plan - and in the end, write.
I hadn't read Sirius/Hermione either until around March, and just instantly fell in love with it. It's a great pairing, I think.