nice , please continue!!!
This is very well written, but it feels unfinished. I would love to see another chapter or two.
Wow, this was amazing!
I enjoyed all of it! The emotions and feelings were all so real! I love how you showed Ginny sticking by Harry's side after the effects of the war! You did a fantastic job, you should be proud!
This was really good! You did Ginny's perspective really well. It was really realistic how she would doubt herself, but always want the same thing... then get the resolve to fix the problem.
I also liked how you brought out the schoolgirl in Hermione - that's how I always imagine her... Since the beginning, I've thought of her as a little pretentious and obnoxious with how she shows her intelligence.
There were a few spots that you may want to touch up that messed up the flow a little while I was reading...
"It took all of her willpower not to hit Hermione’s self-righteousness face."
That should be self-righteous...
"The red-haired girl put little thought to the meaning of the nod or the words for that matter."
There should be a comma after "words"... (Sorry, I'm really picky!)
"At first, when the pattern had first been established, she had always waited for a grunt or some sort of acknowledgement before entering, but after a sleepless night only solved when she’d decided to barge in unannounced at 2 AM in the morning"
You might want to change this to 2 AM or 2 in the morning... in my opinion, the latter works better...
Anyway, I hope you don't mind me correcting grammar too much... There was just nothing else to help you out with! Good job.
I thought this was really good and a very different and interesing take on the usual post-hogwarts bliss you tend to find in fanfics. I wish you could have left me with a bit more hope at the end - I sort of got the feeling that maybe things weren't going to change and I wonder if you left it that way intentially or you wanted people to feel there was hope at the end, because if that was your intention then I found I didn't feel an overwhelming sense of optimism for their future.
I thought your writing style was generally very good though as I was reading I did notice one thing I didn't like as much. You used the words `the boy` or `the girl` a lot and I don't think they really worked - it would have been better to say either their name or just he and she. Again I'm not sure if you used `girl` and `boy` to create a particular effect but if you did then I'm not I understand what, especially because it wasn't consistent throughout.
I quite liked your characterisation and I think you really brought out the darker/angsty side of Harry that is usually only seen in short snatches. The only character I wasn't sure about was Aaron. He seemed to appear out of nowhere and one minute he was insulting Harry in a snape-like manner and the next having a pleasant conversation with Ginny before suddenly exploding at Harry again. I can't help thinking Ginny would have been so calm about the way Aaron insulted Harry, though it is perhaps just evidence of the way his drinking has taken its toll on her.
Overall I enjoyed this and I hope you don't think my review is too critical. Hope to read more from you soon!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review!rnrnThis was actually written for a challenge, which was why I was writing Harry/Ginny in the first place! But everything I write turns out rather sad, so I guess that was to be expected. At the end, I was actually debating between writing a happier versus a sadder ending and went with the sadder one because it seemed more reallistic to me and because, in a far-off corner of my mind, I was alreadly planning a vague follow-up (although I'm not sure if that will ever happen so don't count on it!).rnrnUm . . . yes. I rather agree. I was just rereading this the other day and realized how awkward that sounded, so hopefully, I'll get around to changing that soon. ;) The reason why 'the boy'/'the girl' was there in the first place was because I had originally written the entire thing without using Harry or Ginny's name once, but after I had gotten to a certain part in the story, that was no longer feasible as there were many more characters, so I switched back to the familiar Harry/Ginny. Unfortunately, my proofreading skills are not quite up to snuff.rnrnAbout Aaron . . . I've got mixed reviews on him on other sites as well. He was something I threw into the story on a whim (can you tell I don't plan much when I write? xD) and well, I think he provides a needed juxtaposition to Harry to sort of show what Ginny could have as well as the power of love. And that Snape-ish line was there for my sole amusement since I'm rather in love with Snape and after I wrote the line, I didn't want to take it out!rnrnOnce again, thanks for the review. =] Don't worry about crit. It's needed and very useful and reminds me that I need to get off my lazy behind and correct all those mistakes that litter my stories!