This story gets better and better! I can't wait to find out what was in those letters and why Ron was so upset. Great chapter! I especially loved the part with the photo album and James and Sirius in their animagus forms. :) Hope you update soon!
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. The newest chapter is validated and some of the letters are in there. I will be submitting the next chapter tonight or tomorrow. So, keep watching for it. Thanks again for taking the time to review.
Lovely chapter, Terri. I've always wondered what the house would have looked like, and your depiction is very realistic. Great job all around!
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I just went with what I imagined it would look like from the clip in the movie. The next chapter is still at the house, so once the queue opens, I'll submit that. Stay tuned, lots more to come. Terri
Hey, Terri! You know, this is actually the first story I read when i first came to this site, and i've really got to say, I LOVED IT LIKE HELL!! This is a really good story, but I hope that Ron and Hermione are still together at the end... anyways, keep up the good work! LOVED IT!!!
Author's Response: I am honored to know this was the first story you read. Thank you for your review. I have plenty of chapters ready to submit as soon as the queue opens again. As far as Ron and Hermione, you will have to wait and see... LOL Terri
Wow, Terri. I loved this chapter. Your description of the house and the dinamics between Harry, Ron and Hermione are so perfect.
I feel so bad for Ron though, the poor guy is just stnading there, trying the best he can, yet Harry and Hermione are too busy forming a bond of their own to notice him much.
There were times I've wanted to kick Hermione to her senses, to make her see what she's doing to Ron; she's pushing him away.
Great job, Terri. Can't wait for the next one!
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. Yes, poor Ron. I really hate what I am putting him through, but he is tough, he can handle it. Or can he??? Thanks again. New chapter will be up as soon as the queue reopens and I can submit it. Terri
Terri, I've only just stumbled on your story. This is wonderful! From the start I was looking for loopholes in the idea but you've closed every one. This is a superb piece of writing. The dialogue flows and the descriptions are amazing. I get a real sense that I'm there with the trio.
I LOVED the dialogue between Harry, Snape and Dumbledore. So in character!
Marvellous, marvellous story. Can't wait for the next chapter (Tarnation to the queue closure!)
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. As I wrote this, I knew the questions I would be asking, so I made sure I answered each of them. There is lots more to come. As soon as the queue opens again, I can submit more. The dialogue between Harry and Snape was my favorite part to write. I let Harry say what he wanted to say to Snape as I wrote it. The characters write themselves in this story. I have no control over them. Thanks again for taking the time to review.
I hope Ron/Hermione won't drift too far apart (drift they will, I fear) and that Hermione will still be comfortable around the Grangers later on
Author's Response: All will be revealed in time.... Hermione has a lot of things to deal with before this story is over. Thank you for your review. The next chapter is in the queue. Just a bit of advice, buy a box of tissues for what is coming up... Terri
Hey Terri! -huggles- I think I'm finally all caught up. It's a miracle, really. :D
No nitpicks this time around.
But all the memories were bittersweet. Sirius, Fred, Remus, Tonks, and Mad-Eye were gone now. Remembering them here, alive, caused sharp, stabbing pains that felt like the twisting of a knife in his stomach.
The emotion in this bit is so powerful. I literary felt my eyes well up, I was nearly crying.
“You can now call the Dursleys your relatives.”
Ron didn’t notice how Hermione stiffened slightly at his touch.
That you were abnormal and unworthy to be at Hogwarts.
Aww... -hugs Hermione-
Wow! Okay, so there was so much more emotion in this chapter than any of your other chapters. I think this is my favorite chapter so far. :D
I love Harry in this chapter, first with him not wanting to affect Ron's decision, then his remembering of those who had died, his joke, and his understanding of what Hermione needed (to be alone).
I also love Kreacher. He makes me smile. His characterization is perfect!
I have to go now, so this review was so short.
Author's Response: Mere, I'm so glad you liked this chapter. I had to bring a little humor in to it, to balance the emotions out. There are a lot more emotional chapters coming so you probably should buy a box of tissues. Thanks for your review. Hugs Terri
Poor Hermione! I can't imagine what it would be like to learn that your parents aren't really your parents! I think you do a great job of capturing the fear and anxiety and absolute shock that Hermione is feeling right now. And I also think you've kept to the nature of the characters very well. I really love the plot of this story. Can't wait to see what happens next! Update soon!!! :)
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I am waiting on my beta on the next chapter. I have the next 8 chapters written, so updates will be continuous. Just keep an eye out for the updates. Terri
Terri! -squishes- I read this chapter a couple of days ago, but I didn't have any time to review it, so here I am! :)
Hmm.... Dumbledore's been modifying quite a few memories...
I like how you included that explanation about Hermione's age in this chapter. I'll bet that a lot of readers (myself included) were wondering how it was possible for Hermione and Harry to be twins, if she was so much older than him. I'm really happy that you answered that right off the bat, making it appear like it was just an innocent question from Ron, but really a way to make sure your readers didn't flip out. :D
I know that you had some problems with Hagrid's accent. Well, whatever you did in the end worked. It's perfect. You didn't overload on it, and you didn't underload it. (Is that a word? lol. You know what I mean.)
Grawp is adorable here. I mean, if you can forget the fact that he's about as big as a mountain. lol.
“Hermy sad,” said Grawp simply.
Aww... this just makes me want to hug him.
Yeh’re their daughter in ev’ry way. It doesn’ matter that yer mom didn’ give birth ter you. She loved yeh just the same.
These lines are really sweet and wise. They make me smile in a sad sort-of way every time I read them.
Author's Response: Mere, Thank you for your lovely review. Yes, Dumbledore was quite busy but as it is Dumbledore, I knew he could handle it. I'm glad to know I managed to get Hagrid right. It was worth the days of cross referencing the books and hair pulling. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, there is lots more to come. Terri
I've finally found the time to sit down and read all of your story, and *hopefully* I'll never get this far behind in it again. :)
One tiny nitpick:
“That doesn’t even cover the minutes of torture I went through when we opened V-Voldemort’s locket.” Ron was still becoming accustomed to using Voldemort’s name. “I thought – I thought that Harry and Hermione could have had something going while I wasn’t around.”
In this bit, instead of making 'Ron was still becoming accustomed to using Voldemort’s name.' it's own sentence, you could use dashes (-) to seperate that part. If he was actually talking aloud, he wouldn't pause there, it's just like a thought someone might have while listening to him. If you used dases, it would look something like this:
"That doesn’t even cover the minutes of torture I went through when we opened V-Voldemort’s locket--" Ron was still becoming accustomed to using Voldemort’s name “--I thought – I thought that Harry and Hermione could have had something going while I wasn’t around."
That's it. :D
I WAS RIGHT!! YAY! I guessed that Lily and James were her parents. -grins- I love being right.
Harry restrained himself, sitting quietly in his seat even as his questions and feelings clamoured inside his head, begging to be acknowledged.
I love this description. It paints a very interesting picture in my mind, and it's a feeling we can relate too.
He had a sister. Where was she? Did she know she was a witch?
ahaha. Great characterization of Harry. Smart, but not brilliant.
Greatly saddened by the knowledge of his horrible choice, tears glistened behind Dumbledore’s spectacles.
Awww. -huggles Dumbledore-
I really liked how you started this chapter with right where you left us hanging in the last chapter. It makes us (the readers) feel like we know everything that's happened and we aren't being kept in the dark on some piece of information.
I love the role Ron has in this chapter. Too often, it seems, in fanfics (or the movies); he is shunted to the side, completely forgotten about or he becomes Harry's stupid side kick. It's really too bad, because he's such a fun and interesting character. I'm so happy that you gave him such a big part!
Also, I want to comment on your use of POV (That Writing Styles class has gotten me thinking about it a lot. lol). This is written in third person ominescent. Wow. You do it very well, it doesn't seem to focus on one character more than another. It's all very balanced and un-biased toward anyone. I think this is the first thing I've read in a long time that keeps ominescent going flawlessly. It's really incredible and refreshing to read something that's not in third limited or first.
Author's Response: Mere, First off l;et me start with the last part of your review. I didn't even realize I wrote it in third person ominescent. LOL I tend to just write it and the way it comes out it comes out. LOL Hmmm, I'm going to have to reread this chapter and see exactly how I did that. Okay, Ron. I LOVE writing Ron. That was always me, pushed to the side and ignored. I guess that is why I always tend to give Ron a big part in my stories he is in. As far as the chapter flowing right into the next, that is because I usually write one chapter right after another and if there is a break between my writing them, I don't start a new chapter without going back and rereading the previous chapter so I know exactly where I left off. I am so glad you enjoyed it, and yes, you were right. Thank you so much for your review. *huggles* Terri
I am in love with this story Terri! You've done a very nice job with writing it. I am so happy you chose me to beta for you. Great work! I'm sorry about making you wait with chapters but I'm getting better, as you may be able to tell. I look forward to seeing the next chapter in my inbox!
Author's Response: Lexi,rnI am so glad you agreed to beta for me. I am glad you enjoy the story. You will have the next chapter to beta soon.rnTerri
This was a great prologue . I can't wait to find out whats going to happen
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I hope you enjoy the other chapters that are validated. The next chapter will be submitted soon. Terri
Woah, Terri. Talk about being shocked. =O I had thought that one of the Marauders would have been the father, because of one of the lines in which you've said about Snape hating her father. But then, you had written about Dumbledore meeting the person, and I thought that it could not possibly be any of the four. =/
Anyways, it was a great chapter! Sirius-ly. =)
Author's Response: When I wrote the line about Snape hating her father, I thought for sure I'd given away the 'secret'. I'm glad the part with Dumbledore going to talk to her parents balanced out the mystery. Now that the secret is out, the fun will begin. Thanks for your review. I'm glad you liked this chapter. Terri
Hey Terri! -huggles-
I only have one nitpick and it's a formatting error:
They began the walk up to Hogwarts without meeting anyone.
As they approached the gates to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, they noticed the gates were closed.
You forgot to hit enter again after the first sentence.
When the crushing darkness of Apparition ended...
I love this description. It's really clever and it keeps the reader interested.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione had not been back to the school since the memorial service for those who had been killed in the battle.
I really like the idea of a memorial service. It rings true with the idea of war.
I reallly like that you had Harry thank Snape. I've often thought that he would go back and say thank you to him. I really like the way you did it, especially with Snape just ignoring him. (That is so Snape!)
Author's Response: Mere, Thank you for your lovely words. I'll fix that error, thanks for noticing it. The scene with Snape just wrote itself. It was like I was channeling Harry at that moment. LOL I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. Terri
I like this story, you have captured the characters of the trio very well and come up with a very original idea. I would love to read more of this :).
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I will be submitting the next chapter as soon as I get it back from my betas. I will of course update my signature on the boards when the next ch[pater is up. Thanks again, Terri
Nicely written! The question I have is 'how traumatic' would the news that Hermione is Harry's sister be. They already act and treat each other like brother and sister. She is so logical and analytical that the emotional aspects of being lied to doesn't seem like it would be that 'crushing.' (Ron's first cousin - Fabian Prewetts daughter would of made an interesting situation.)
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. The next chapter will start exploring the fallout of this secret. Terri
Wow! I had a feeling that Hermione was Harry's sister when I was reading the last chapter. And honestly, this plot doesn't seem too far-fetched either. I think it would have made sense even for Rowling to throw a twist like this in. And it makes sense also in how Harry and Hermione always interacted with each other. Anyway, great idea and great chapter! Can't wait to read more! :)
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I had a feeling most people would suspect Hermione was Harry's sister. The next chapter goes into more detail, and then the fun begins. Well, I doubt Hermione will think it is fun dealing with this. Thanks again. Terri
So Hermione is Harry's twin sister--that is so Star Wars (you know, Luke and Leia). When I first read that Hermione would discover her true parentage, I thought that it was going to a couple like the Malfoys. Guess I was wrong. It does make things different, having Hermione be related to Harry, even though that's not true canon.
Author's Response: The truth of Hermione's parents is only the beginning of the story. Keep reading for the rest. The reason it is listed in the AU category is because it isn't true canon. I'm exploring the 'what if?" Thank you for your comments. Terri
Whoooo.....wow. Just...wow. I figured Hermione might be related to one of the main characters in some way, but not really Harry. I liked Ron's anger at Dumbledore, I really didn't see that coming either. It should be interesting to see the questions coming for Dumbledore as well. Great job!
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I am glad you enjoyed it and are not disappointed it was Harry she was related to. The rest of the explanations will be in the next chapter. Terri
This is not fair, Terri! I thought that you were going to reveal Hermione's real parents in this chapter! *humph*
Lol. I loved this chapter. And I hate your 'strengths' of ending stories with cliffies. Jokin' jokin'. Don't take it sirius-ly, hmm?
Anyways, the story. It was very well written, especially the whole of Harry's speech to Snape.
And, I'm adding this to the favourites! =D
Best of luck for the future chapters, and be sure that I'll read and review every one of them. :p
Author's Response: I am honored to have my story added to your favorites. Thank you. I will be submitting the next chapter to the queue within a day or two. The following chapter is already with the betas. Thanks again for your thoughts. Terri