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Name: LuNaLoVeGoOdLoVer (Signed) · Date: 07/10/09 14:27 · For: Chapter 19- Gamma Orionis
well, there's not much i can say about this chapter, it was great!
hmm..exept, if i were REALLY picky, I could tell you that you used the word 'time' twice in a row. 'for the first time in a long time' insted, you could write 'for the first time in days' or something like that. but it doesn't matter :P
good characterization of tonks! (:

Author's Response: Thanks! Tonks is very fun to write about. And I like the sound of 'first time in a long time' for effect. It's catchy :)

Name: LuNaLoVeGoOdLoVer (Signed) · Date: 07/10/09 13:48 · For: Chapter 18- Escape and Encounter
well, about the magic she did underage: didn't she use a hex on Harper?

uh... exiting chappie!!!!!! she made the right chaice (: (: (: (: (:

so did ginny guess????
i'll keep reading, maybe you will tell me in future chapters! (:

Author's Response:

Okay, yes, she did. I looked it up and you were right. You'll just have to go with it :P After all, didn't Harry and friends use magic outside before without getting caught, like in Diagon Alley? At least just to cast Lumos or something? I can't remember. I'll look it up.

Ginny hasn't necessarily guessed, but she's a bit suspicious :)

Name: LuNaLoVeGoOdLoVer (Signed) · Date: 07/10/09 5:45 · For: Chapter 14- Fifth Year Begins
hmmm... i would expetc harry, Hermione and the Weasleys to be nicer to lyra now that they knew her, and invite them to sit with them on the trainride...
i liked it!
(am i annoying???)

Author's Response:

Already posted

Name: LuNaLoVeGoOdLoVer (Signed) · Date: 07/10/09 5:45 · For: Chapter 14- Fifth Year Begins
hmmm... i would expetc harry, Hermione and the Weasleys to be nicer to lyra now that they knew her, and invite them to sit with them on the trainride...
i liked it!
(am i annoying???)

Author's Response: Oops, this was posted three times...

Name: LuNaLoVeGoOdLoVer (Signed) · Date: 07/10/09 5:45 · For: Chapter 14- Fifth Year Begins
hmmm... i would expetc harry, Hermione and the Weasleys to be nicer to lyra now that they knew her, and invite them to sit with them on the trainride...
i liked it!
(am i annoying???)

Author's Response:

Others have mentioned this to me, but if you recall that in OotP, there were six people (Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, and Luna) in a compartment, and I don't know if Lyra would fit! Don't worry, you're not annoying...these reviews make me think.

Name: LuNaLoVeGoOdLoVer (Signed) · Date: 07/10/09 5:26 · For: Chapter 13- Spilling Secrets
ginny says that they have faced 'way more thab they have!'. I'm not sure this is accurate; defianetly the same amount, but I think members of the order must have faced pretty much.

isuppose you like sirius? :P
loved this chaooie!

Author's Response:

She says 'most of us,' so she isn't referring to all the Order members. True, Lupin, Mad-Eye, Sirius, and maybe Tonks have probably faced more, but I'm sure the others have more experience than, say, Mundungus or even Mrs. Weasley.

And yes, I love Sirius :) I think everyone does!

Name: LuNaLoVeGoOdLoVer (Signed) · Date: 07/10/09 4:48 · For: Chapter 12- The Order
isn'tNarcisa a death eater?
And Abdromeda's pretty tough, i think. I'm pretty sure she could handle Tonks being in the Order. By the way, I loved how you did that with Tonks, the joining,...

And Mundungus rang the doorbell, which should have set off sirius' mum.

And when we first see lupi there was something in the paragraph... it was supposed to be
but you wrote 'since' I think.

And the Weasley's (Ron, Ginny, the twins) and Hermione havn't arrivesd at grimmould place yet?

Author's Response:

No, she's not, she's just caught in the middle since her whole family is. Andromeda is tough, I'm sure, but she's lost two sisters to the Dark Side and doesn't want to lose her daughter. It's also tough for her to think about her daughter fighting her sisters. I'm glad you liked that part, though, because it was definitely one of my favorites to write!

I don't think Mundungus rang the doorbell, he just burst into the room. You were right about the 'sense' thing though, although I feel too lazy to fix it :P

No, they haven't arrived yet. Thanks again for your review!

Name: LuNaLoVeGoOdLoVer (Signed) · Date: 07/10/09 4:24 · For: Chapter 11- The Imposter
When Lyra and BC jr. were talking, dumbledore left her without any protection- he would have left, but stayed nearby. And i think you should have added more AFTER the dementors kiss. Aftrerall if she was in the room she probably would have been sent to the Hospital Wing......
Great so far!!!
*leaves to keep reading*

Author's Response:

I didn't add more after the dementor part because I wanted to end it with that line, but I can assure you Dumbledore was outside the room. She didn't need the hospital wing because she wasn't attacked, just a little scared. I'm glad you continue to read this!

Name: LuNaLoVeGoOdLoVer (Signed) · Date: 07/10/09 4:04 · For: Chapter 10- The Easter Holidays
you swithched the POV once, i think. during dinner, you say 'Dora told her' but normally Lyra tells us the story...

Author's Response: I look this up and found that is says 'Dora told about her job.' So Lyra is telling us that Dora was talking to everyone else.

Name: LuNaLoVeGoOdLoVer (Signed) · Date: 07/10/09 3:54 · For: Chapter 9- Day at the Lake
i think neville met luna in his 5th year
but I still love how she's meking friends, although you wrote tthat she made one-maybe two friends, but what about ginny?

Author's Response: They probably did, but it's fanfiction so I'm changing things up :) And yes, Lyra is sort of friends with Ginny but at this point she isn't really close to any of the three. She's saying she might have some new friends.

Name: LuNaLoVeGoOdLoVer (Signed) · Date: 07/10/09 3:45 · For: Chapter 8- Big Night
you say Dora tought Lyra a spell to staighten hair, which is fine-but toinks wouldn't need it, being a metamorphmagus...

you also say that she usually is normal looking, and that she takes after her mother. but Bellatrix was beautiful, so wouldn't lyra be too?

I don't know about you or Lyra, but i miself wouldn't find it sad that i would never see my parents again if they were death Eaters. i would be really angry at them... Lyra never knew them and grew up with the Tonks', so in her place I would ttally think of them as my 'parents'...

parvaty refers to ron as 'farry's freind' to the other girls in her dormatory, but I'm pretty sure they all know who he is- they don't need the remark of him beeing haarryy's friend, or so I would think.

Alsom Pavarty seemed surprised at seeing hermioone and Krum together at the beginning of the ball, so it's sort of OOC to have her tell them that she's gooing to go with Krum... but it works fine with the story, just being nitpick- sorry!
she should talk to harry, they could have a hurting-because-of-voldemort-club :P
once again, great job!!!

Author's Response:

You're right, she doesn't need it--she just happens to know it.

She takes after her mother in the eyes and facial features, mostly. I understand you would think she's beautiful--it makes sense--but Lyra can't stand out so she has to be plain. It's possible for her to look like her mother in certain ways (not every way) and still be plain, I think. She also takes after her father, and since we don't know what he looks like I made it up and I picture him with straight brown hair and brown eyes. I imagine him very plain, therefore his daughter is very plain.

Lyra is angry at her parents but still feels like something is missing from her life. I personally would probably feel the same. She just wants to know more about her origins. For instance, she doesn't know why they even had a baby when they were so devoted to Voldemort. Not knowing her parents leaves her confused over lots of things!

Well, that's true. It was kind of tough to characterize Parvati and Lavender, because even though Lyra and Hermione know them, they're not the greatest of friends or anything. I don't know. Sorry if it sounded weird.

Oh, are you talking about what happens in the book or movie? I think I know what you mean but I really wanted to put in a "girl talk" scene if you know what I mean :) Thanks again. You give me stuff to think about.

Name: LuNaLoVeGoOdLoVer (Signed) · Date: 07/10/09 3:13 · For: Chapter 7- Holiday in Hogsmeade
I loved it!!!!!!!!!!!
'... she'd successfully asked the fourth year Hufflepuff Justin Finch-Fletchley and he'd accepted...' you wrote SUCCESSFULLY and then HE'D ACCEPTED, which is to posotive forms... you only need one....
hmm...I had somethig else bu I can't remember right now, so I'll be back later!
And again, I loved how Lyra is (Call her Lyra???) making friends! (: Or trying to, even if she's afraid of her secret being found out...

Author's Response:

Oh, I see what you mean...

Yep, I call her Lyra even if everyone calls her Lindsey. I like how she's trying to make friends, too!

Name: LuNaLoVeGoOdLoVer (Signed) · Date: 07/10/09 2:53 · For: Chapter 6- Arrival of the Rivals
'...now waltzing back to the Ravenclaw table after retrieving the bouillabaisse from our place at the Gryffindor.'
IU think it should be Griffendor ONE.
-just being nitpicky-

Author's Response: Oops, does it say that? I didn't catch it when I revised. Sorry!

Name: LuNaLoVeGoOdLoVer (Signed) · Date: 07/10/09 2:36 · For: Chapter 5- The Auror and the Curses
do all the teachers and all the (higher0 ministry officials know about Lindsy.Lyra'sparentage?
And I know it fits to the story, but I don't think she should be *looks for the right word* fascinated? pulled?(does that make sense? ...well, she shouldn't want to do the dark arts....just because her parents were Death Eaters...like you said, she;s an individual...
And I don't think you need the dot's between DADA.
Sorry if I'm being annoying!
I reallt like your story!

Author's Response: The teachers don't know and only a select few Ministry wizards know (I'm not sure what department...let me get back to you on that once I think about it). I get what you're saying about the Dark Arts and it's not exactly that she wants to do them, she's just curious about them because she knows how if affected her parents lives and therefore her lives. By trying the Dark Arts she might get more insight into why her parents got into it or something like that. It's also necessary for the plot :) She is an individual, but (like many teenagers) she's struggling to figure out who she is, which is difficult since she doesn't know her parents. She just wants to be closer to them so she can get a better idea of who they were. And...I used to not have dots between DADA but I changed it because they were there in HBP :) Thanks again.

Name: LuNaLoVeGoOdLoVer (Signed) · Date: 07/10/09 2:20 · For: Chapter 4- Return to Hogwarts
ok, here;s the deal : -she never got punished for using magic outside of school
-droco, ect. already have harry to torment, although i do see him hating her because of their family's
-i see your point with the no friends, ... but that also is kind of conspicuous,,,

Author's Response: I know she was never punished and it crossed my mind that maybe she should have been, but I think the only time she used magic outside school was at the World Cup when plenty of other underages were using it to defend themselves, too, and the Ministry couldn't punish that many students so they made an exception. Okay, I just made that up on the spot but I think it works :) You're right about Draco, and he doesn't torment Lyra like he does with Harry, but he bothers her if he gets the chance just because she's (supposedly) the daughter of Andromeda Tonks.

Name: LuNaLoVeGoOdLoVer (Signed) · Date: 07/10/09 1:41 · For: Chapter 2- The Match and the Mark
great storyso far! I love it!
ButTonks would want to fight the Death Eaters to, not just go into the woods.....and she should have bought a krum figure :P

Author's Response: Thank you. She probably would have wanted to fight the Death Eaters, but her main goal right then was keeping her cousin safe :)

Name: Marauders_weasleygirl02 (Signed) · Date: 07/08/09 16:32 · For: Prologue
OMG!!! Lyra,

I'm going to need you to do the next chapter! This is the best story I have read on here... really it is... Rodulphlous(I'm pretty sure i just spelled that wrong) is awesome. Write please! I can't wait for the next chapter. Can you make some dialogue between Harry and Lyra? Like after sirius's death?

Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much! I'm actually working on submitting the next chapter right now. You'll be happy to know that there's some dialogue between Harry and Lyra it in regarding Sirius. I love Rodolphus, too and he'll play a major part later on! Thanks so much and enjoy following the story!

Name: pin_lock123 (Signed) · Date: 07/07/09 22:05 · For: Chapter 22- An Unexpected Twist
hey, do me a favor? can you write more before i have to do something drastic...like...kill my dog? or possably...you? =P sorry for the threats, but i will if you dont write more. your a real good writer and this is the best freakin story on here. THANKS!!

Author's Response: Wow! Thanks so much! The next chapter is in the queue, waiting to be submitted right now! It should be out soon. But if you kill me, I can't finish the story :P And don't kill your dog! Treasure the time you have with it (my dog died two weeks ago). I know you're joking, so anyway...wow! This was quite a compliment! I'm so glad you like the story. You may like to know that I have the story written already, so updates should be quick.

Name: Marauders_weasleygirl02 (Signed) · Date: 07/06/09 23:50 · For: Chapter 18- Escape and Encounter
I like this chapter a lot... Bellatrix was great in this chapter...

Author's Response: Thank you! I do my best to characterize her well.

Name: Marsha Johnsegn (Signed) · Date: 07/02/09 19:17 · For: Chapter 22- An Unexpected Twist
Oh gosh! An Unexpected Twist...? Yes! Definitely!!! I very curious to see if anyone is going to comment on Lyra's and Bellatrix's looks (there is a voice inside of my head saying, 'of course they will!')
I'm not so sure I'm ready for the next chapter... I don't want Sirius to die!
You've definitely kept your plot line intriguing! (Completely opposites to what I said in the statement above) I’m really looking forward to the next few chapters! I kind of want people to find out about Lyra… I’m not sure if they will…?
So, all in all, I loved the chapter (even if the wait took forever!)
Update soon! Until next time; Cheers!

Author's Response:

Yeah, I think every HP fan was sad to see Sirius die! Unfortunately I couldn't save him in my story, even if it is AU (plot purposes), but you'll see how his death affects Lyra very soon, in about two chapters. I'm really dying to say something about what's coming but I'll hold my tongue--you'll find out soon enough :)

And I'm sorry about the wait. I couldn't find time to revise and cite with my busy schoolwork, and once school got out I couldn't find the motivation, but I'm glad I did. I promise the next several updates will be faster because they need considerably less revising and citations. The next one is already in the queue, in fact. Hopefully the rest of the summer will be filled with quick updates. The story is far from over :)

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