Hi! Very nice fic. I definitely think it's Luna! It should be Luna--in my opinion, Luna and Harry are PERFECT together! I'm a HUGE Harry/Luna shipper. Also, I think it's Luna because of the pudding. Did you get that from the movie? Because Luna mentions pudding in the OOTP. And I think in HBP. Although, what makes me think it's not Luna is that she's Ravenclaw and Harry and Ron are Gryffindor, so why would she be at their table to get the last scoop of pudding? Idk, just thinking out loud here. Anyway, I think you should tell who it is! ;)
is it Luna?!
I really love this story. I stumbled across it in the Ravenclaw Library, and I’m really happy I did. It’s such a sweet story, and your use of present tense is really good. It’s nice to read something fresh.
I noticed you slipped up on the present tense in two places, though: “I thought I had imagined it at first, but Harry actually smiles and laughs,” should probably become “I think I am imagining it at first, but Harry actually smiles and laughs.” And “When he does not draw away, I squeeze his fingers tight and stood up,” should be “…I squeeze his fingers tight and stand up.”
But anyway, I think your characterisation is really good. Harry is spot on, because it isn’t realistic that he would just move on, and we know that there would be problems. I liked the girl a lot; I think she was really believable, and you did a really awesome job on her. I think she seems perfect for Harry and I’d really love to learn more about her. I’m under the impression that you don’t have to say any more about her, because this was more about Harry, right? I think you showed just enough of all of her, and I don’t think she was lacking anywhere. The dialogue was all very natural, and it was just great in general.
The last line is really sweet, and it gives me the happy, squeeful feeling. Everything flowed really well, and it made for a really great read. There’s just one more line I’m going to nitpick: “Parvati Patil still goes to weekly therapy sessions at St. Mungo’s, trying to deal with the constant flashbacks of Lavender Brown’s death, which had happened after her friend had been Disarmed.” I would cut off everything after Lavender Brown’s death, just to keep it flowing properly.
Anyway, I think it’s wonderful. I really, really love it. =]
Awww that was rather cute little one-shot. I espeically love the last line, "Because you never wanted to be everyone else's." It was just perfect. You really captured Harry - that he didn't want to be a hero and the girl (was is Ginny? It felt like it was Ginny) loving him anyway. Great Job :)
Wow. I really like that, I have to admit. I normally dont read things in first person but this was good. I think that you have Harry spot on. I have always pictured him not wanting to be a hero and wanting to blend in with everyone else. Though I wasn't expecting people not being over the war five years later, at least not like that. I knew that there would still be damage, most likely, and that people would have some horrible memories, but I never imagined that it would be that bad. Especially Seamus. Overall I just love your story.
:D I love it. It's really sweet and it makes me like Harry again. I haven't liked Harry for a long time so that's an amazing feat in and of itself. For a moment I thought the girl was Fleur because of the pudding, but then I remembered that was in fourth year not sixth. I really do like the fact that you left her nameless, though. The POV and the length of the fic didn't really demand for her name to be known. And I just think it's cool, because I'm of the belief that an author doesn't need to give the readers every single detail. The only thing I could possible criticize would be the length, but then if you made it longer then it wouldn't be the same story! So thanks for an awesome read, I'm glad I found this fic!
Jeez, I'm finally getting around to reviewing this fic, Hannah! :]
I like the fact that the War is still a big deal in this fic. In so many post-Hogwarts/next-gen fics, the writers seem to brush away the War, which just seems stupid, because there's no way they all wouldn't still be affected by it even decades later. In your fic, it seems very realistic how the characters are still coping.
You and I have discussed Harry's character many, many times, and I think by now you're well aware of what I think of him… But regardless, I still think you characterised him very well.
“I don’t know why I still have to be the hero.”
It does seem like Harry to not want to be the hero, since I don't think he ever really did. I always felt when I read the books that he was just doing everything because he had too — but he would have much preferred to just… sit on the sidelines, let someone else be the hero. I like how that comes through.
It's your nameless OC who I was never entirely sure of. I know she could be a great character, but she just doesn't seem very developed, almost to the extent of coming off perfect. All she really does in this fic is cook, listen, and kiss Harry — I get that she's being a very supportive and loving wife, but I wish we could have seen more development. I feel like you're telling us that she is the girl for Harry, not why — which almost would have been more interesting. She doesn't have a name or a backstory or… anything, really. More development could have improved this fic so much. :]
You last line (or paragraph) was absolutely perfect. All in all this was a great snapshot of how Harry could be coping after the war.
Hannah! I loved this fic of yours! Thanks for letting me know about it. =] I, like Chante', know who the OC is, but I can see why you would think it is Ginny too. Then again, that why it's in Harry/OC, right? =P
Your characterisation was great, and it was a very nice fic -- I hope you write more on this pairing ;-)
Congrats on finally getting the story up, Hannah. I was so excited to finally get to read it. It was really good -- well written and sweet, but without a lot of fluff. No sneezing from me. :-D It really was a lovely story, though I can tell that the OC did seem a lot like Ginny, but I know who it really is so, in the end, that doesn't matter. Once again, fantastic story. It was great!