MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
(Signed) · Date:
05/03/08 19:43 · For:
Okay, having beta’d this; you know how I feel about it. I absolutely love it! Listen up, people! Alison is a literary genius that deserves way more recognition than you are giving her. Here’s to hoping I don’t gush too much about this.
Name: Magic Muffin
I love how you’ve subtly paralleled several things in this one-shot. First off, you are so brilliant with using the paths to signify Edward and Cecilia’s relationship. It’s kind of like they’ve taken the same one their whole lives and never really opened their eyes and saw things differently. It’s a really special moment and it’s quite meaningful when they take the other path, opposed to the usual. It’s truly a beautiful realization.
Secondly, the stars! I think this requires a deeper thought process, definitely more contemplation. It goes deeper.
“There’s no moon tonight,” he commented.
“I didn’t even notice.”
“I did. Sometimes the sky doesn’t look right if the moon isn’t there.”
“But the stars look brighter tonight.”
“I think they can shine brighter when the moon isn’t there.” His voice was so neutral that I couldn’t tell what he was thinking.
Now, at this point, it’s more difficult to decipher. Is he perhaps referring to Tom Riddle once being in her life? That seems more logical until we get to this point:
“What would happen if the moon ever disappeared for good?” he questioned softly.
“The stars would be even brighter, and… I think the sky would get used to it.”
“You think it could? After all that time?”
“As long as the stars never left,” I answered, realising I had become just as serious as he was.
“They would never leave.”
Okay, what girl would not love to hear that? It’s so intimate without being too intimate. They’re using something else to convey emotions and what they’re thinking. That’s quite clever of you, if you were to ask me. However, at that point, I feared it would get too mushy and I would have to click out of it and run out of the room, screaming. But, I was wrong. There was a happy medium there. You didn’t overstep the boundary and go all-out fluff (thank Godric).
The only thing that really stood out was the similarity to Edward from Twilight. I know I commented about this, but it still strikes me. They both seem to have the same sort of personality thing (not to mention the same name =p). However, I feel that you were able to differentiate them enough so that no one thought this was a Twilight fanfic. That’s my character nitpick.
Putting aside Edward, I think that Cecilia was a spectacular OC! I love the depth we receive from her; she is such a profound character. I could really feel for her and all of the confusion and heartache she was experiencing. I just love it when I can connect on that level, it makes reading something much more enjoyable.
There were some parts that were so terribly awkward. Not in your writing, but with Cecilia and Edward! Huh…I just realized how insulting that could have sounded if I had not explained myself. Anyways, typical teenage angst and tension. It was actually quite hilarious when that happened, almost as if it was unavoidable, kind of a stand still in the progression of their relationship until they went past those awkward phases.
I think the imagery was awing in this one-shot. The splendor so clearly exuded, however simplistic the surroundings may have been. I am a sucker for detail. =)
Overall, I found this to be well-paced and well thought out. I could definitely tell that you put time in to make this fic a fantastic sequel and read!
(Signed) · Date:
04/27/08 12:52 · For:
This was a really good fic! Great job! I like how Edward and Cecilia ( I love that name, by the way) are always together. It was really sweet!
(Signed) · Date:
04/24/08 5:53 · For:
Hi. I enjoyed this and its preqel and look forward to reading part 3 when it's posted. I'm glad that you set this six months after Tom left. It wouldn't have felt right if Cecila had fallen straight into Edwards arms.
I feel sorry for Tom though, you have written him as really loving Cecila, and we know he didn't love Merope
Author's Response: I've convinced myself that Edward is way better for Cecilia than Tom, but I do still feel a bit bad for him. Won't it be interesting when she has to choose between them when Tom comes back in the third one? Thanks for the review!