The idea of there being a magical world that the wizarding world doesn't know about is a fascinating idea. I also how you portrayed this Faerie world -- it was somewhat dark, but there still was some good. The romance was nicely written, though the timeline at the beginning was slightly confusing. By the end, though, I was rooting for the two lovers, and was heartbroken when Scorpius was left behind.
Author's Response: This was my first attempt at writing, and I know that you are not the only one who found the timeline slightly confusing. Its always so helpful to hear what didn't work out right, as well as what did, and gives me things to work on for the future. Thank you for taking the time to read and review! It makes my day.
BravoI can see why this story won an award
9/10 (for nothing is perfect)
Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
As a writer, I love to get reviews. Sure, having a high read count is nice, but when I see a review I feel great that someone took the time to tell me what they think. Whether it is praise or not, it makes me feel good. Which is why, I am taking the time to tell you how much I loved your story. I can't believe that you only have fourteen reviews! Congratulations on the award--very deserving. I loved how you referred to Potters and Weasleys throughout the fic without talking about how famous their parents were or anything. Making Scorpius an auror--kind of ironic isn't it, that his father and grandfather were death eaters?
Anyways, mainly I wanted to commend you on doing such a fine job. Oh, and by the way, wonderful job with an OC.
Author's Response: Thank you so much!
Its funny, Scorpius was certainly not going to be an Auror when I started the story, in fact, he wasn't even going to be all that nice. He kind of asserted himself as I went along, though. Being an Auror turned out to be his idea, not mine!
Wonderful story. I liked how you were able to keep the story going while skipping through the years. I would love to know what happens next and to say Thank you for a nex-gen story that did not put Scorpius and Rose together.
Author's Response: Thank you! I think it is safe to say that they won't live "happily ever after" because who does, really?
I have been thinking about how to continue the story. I would have to bring it back into the HP universe or it wouldn't be a HP Fan Fiction! But I think that there will be opportunities for the worlds to collide again.
So, I read the story in one sitting... I have a bad habit of not reading anyone's incomplete stories until I find one they've completed... and I loved it!
And I wouldn't be surprised if the Black King turns out to be someone we all know and love.
Author's Response: Goodness, how perceptive of you! I have an idea of who the Black King is, and the plot bunny for that one is hoping along nicely.
Thank you for the review! I know what you mean about incomplete stories, I like being able to read the whole thing, because what if the author NEVER completes it, and then you are in limbo forever!
wow how old are you? i mean you dont have to say of course. but i mean thats like my style writing but its really awesome good job!
Author's Response: Thanks for your review! I am about the same age as J.K. Rowlings. Thats a pretty good age for a storyteller, judging from her success.
This chapter was beautifull written. It's my favorite so far. I especially liked the line that said "a dark river that ran as warm as blood" - it fits the story well. I really want to find out how Corrina fares in the battle in Faerie, so I hope this isn't the end.
Author's Response: Thank you!rnrnI have one more chapter of this story, and then perhaps I will leave Corrina and Scorpius alone for a while and come back to them. I can sense a plot bunny for a sequel showing some "signs of life". I've an idea for a Founders Era story with ties to Faerie, I think that will be my next endeavor.
I adore this story! Every time I finish a chapter I think "Le sigh. It's over already." And then I attempt to be patient while waiting for the next one. Corrina is wonderful. I loved the detail about the difference between manners in the fairy court and manners in the wizarding world. You do a wonderful job of showing how very different the two worlds and lives she's trying to choose between are. I also love how you portray Scorpius. He's not as mean as his grandfather or father sometimes was, but he's still a Malfoy. I look forward to reading more!
Author's Response: Thank you for the wonderful review! This is very gratifying, because one of the things I am trying to do with the story is talk about being an outsider, and how that feels and how it impacts decisions.
Its funny about Scorpius, I had intended him to be a very different sort of character, much less sympathetic, but he pretty much asserted himself and took over - you see the result. I kind of like him too.
What a wonderful, imaginative, and engaging story! I can honestly say that I’ve never read anything quite like this in fan fiction and that I’ve enjoyed it immensely! You have a wonderful way of telling the story and have created a very believable character with Corrina Corax and your version of Scorpius is splendidly done as well.
The prologue was exceptional. It was a bit short, but it definitely served its purpose. With great use of description and an interesting last line, it’s sure to have your readers keeping track of this story until it is finished.
We actually get our first glimpse of Corrina within that prologue, but it isn’t until you delve into the story and actually start the first chapter that we actually meet her. The way that you’ve built the world around the character, describing the settings so that your reader can see them, showing not telling, is done with exquisite form. The way that you drop small hints of your character here and there is also very well done. For example:
She looked over to the carriages that waited, and to the skeletal horses that pulled them.
“Firs’ Years! This way!” boomed out a large voice.
She turned and walked towards the enormous man holding a lantern.
Within the end of the first paragraph and the next few sentences we already know that at the age of eleven, or rather the presumed age of eleven (I feel like you’ve hinted at something that we are yet to learn within later chapters), she has witnessed someone’s death. Even later within the chapter you’ve given a small hint to her previous schooling with this line:
She was playing with her quill, as if she had never handled one before.
It wasn’t until her confession to Scorpius of not being able to read or write that I recognized that small hint. The whole story, not just the first chapter is peppered with small hints like these and it makes the reading even more interesting. I admit I have a penchant to speed read but in doing so I sometimes miss little gems like this and it’s definitely something I will not be doing while reading future chapters; to afraid I’ll miss something.
Again, your characterization and your writing style are perhaps one of the strongest that I’ve ever seen on a fan fiction site. You definitely have an elegance in your writing that seems like it’s from another time, just like your main character.
The story setting itself is also beautifully done. I like the idea that their could be another world just beyond that of the wizarding that seems to be even more immersed in magic than that we already know of. The world of Faerie seems to be very well thought out and it is another of my favorite elements of this story, along with how you have woven the two worlds together within your character. The only thing that I find bothersome is the fact that I don’t know enough about this new world. So, as a reader I would love some more background on this world but as a writer I know that you may be holding it back for more revelations later in the story.
In closing, you’ve definitely got me hooked with this story – both with your style of writing and the wonderful tale that you are weaving. I can’t wait to read more about Corrina and Scorpius’ tale, along with more information on the world of Faerie!
Author's Response: I am speechless. Thank you for the wonderful review. I shall endeavor to oblige with another trip to Faerie. It will probably remain somewhat mysterious, though. It is a large place, off in the shadows, and the inhabitants are cautious in sharing their confidences. I feel confident that given time they will be more forthcoming, as, indeed, shall I.
I loved the "suspense" around the love scene -- how you left us and let her reveal it to her friend... very JKR of you [I'm thinking of Harry and the teary Cho in OoTP]!
This is a marvelous story and I cannot wait to learn more about these characters.
Author's Response: My dear husband (DH) was totally thrilled to hear that! He kept telling me to shorten the love scene. I don't think it could get much shorter - and I had to remove all this lovely stuff about pounding hearts and cold lips meeting. . . . Oh well. . . . rnrnThe next chapter is *almost* done!
Ooooh this is an intriguing story! I can't wait to read more, and break through that fog of mystery surrounding Corinna.
Great plot building!
Author's Response: Then you will like Chapter 3, because the fog thins a little bit!
Erm... Sorry for the double review, I know it sounds like I'm nitpicking, but I have a question. In the second chapter, it says that she is in second year. Doesn't that mean that Scorpius is in fourth year, not fifth? If you actually meant that he's in fourth year, or if my math is wrong (entirely too possible), then you can disregard the above statement. That's just a little thing that popped out when I was reading it. All in all, brilliant second chapter.
Author's Response: You are entirely correct - if Corrina is in second year, Scorpius should be in fourth year. The trouble is that this chapter takes place in Corrina's third year, and since that seems to not be obvious, perhaps I had better make it clearer. The chapter underwent a lot of revision, and I did have a similar comment from a friend earlier on, so I think I will address it. Thanks for the review! And no, this is not picking nits!
I really like it! Especially the ending; Scorpius trusted her-that's important. Are you going to be making more leaps in time or have it stay like it is?
Author's Response: The third chapter takes place immediately following this one, and I will be submitting it shortly. I'm rewriting the fourth chapter , which takes place in Corrina's fifth year. I've got the last part of the sixth (and last chapter) finished, so I know how it ends :-) So stay tuned!
Oooh... Intriguing plot here. It was a very good idea to make Corrina a faerie. It was also a pretty impressive brainwave to make her not know anything about the wizarding world (or the Muggle one, either.) I especially liked the part when she set the matchbox on fire, but in the end, turned it into a needle. keep on working this story. I think it'll be interesting to see what kind of form it takes. (And I think that Scorpius is really nice sounding, too. Not like his dad. I'd date him if I were her.)
Author's Response: Thanks for the return review! I think we have all had that feeling of being a fish out of water, I know I did when I switched schools, or switched jobs. Corrina's disorientation is just a wee bit more extreme than usual - nothing is familiar to her. Scorpius is the white sheep of the family - I was trying to make him an selfish little git, but he had other ideas. . . .
Sounds like this will be a very interesting story. I can't wait to see where this is headed. Keep up the good work.
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm working on the final chapter now, but there are a few more chapters to be posted before that one. Stay tuned.
Next please? this really should turn into a very very intresting story
Author's Response: Thanks! Next chapter is written, and I will be submitting very soon.
Wow, I can't wait to read more of this story! Is Corrina's back story going to become clearer in the next few chapters? I'm not sure I entirely understand where she comes from. But anyway, this is an intriguing idea. Keep writing!
Author's Response: Corrina's back story comes out in Chapter 3. Thanks so much for the encouragement!