Reviewer: OtterMoone
Date: 08/03/10 9:35
Chapter: Hallows

Good story... so update? Please?

Reviewer: Moon110581
Date: 01/13/10 3:08
Chapter: Hallows

I've really enjoyed reading this story, and I'm eager to read more

Reviewer: ginny_harry_ron_hermione
Date: 08/11/09 16:01
Chapter: Hallows

Hmmm... it's interesting how Grindelwald is from Germany. I wonder how you came up with that?

Reviewer: Pen Sieve
Date: 05/30/09 19:39
Chapter: Prologue: Beginnings and Ends

So far, so brilliant. The hints of this relationship in the HP books have always interested me more than nearly any other relationship, and I'm so glad someone has decided to write it. And write it so well! Your writing is wonderfully subtle, everyone's character suggested by the smallest of words. The voice of Dumbledore is unsentimental and very honest - so many would try to excuse this beloved character with justifications for his thoughts and actions every other line. There's an excellent sort of drollness about him, a convincing trait for an early Dumbledore, intellectually insatiable but still a teenager. And it gives a strange seductive, menacing feel to the proceddings...

Aberforth and Arianna were very well done. The closeness between them that JK describes is illustrated beautifully here.

Grindelwald fits the role JK made from him brilliantly, and his interactions with Dumbledore are convincing. Their unthinkable conversations intellectualizing their - well, it's racism isn't it? - seem so smooth, so real it's disturbing. You can understand how Dumbledore came to rationalize things.
And the romantic suggestions between them are potent, in all that evocative scenery.

Gagh, I'm gushing. I can't think of any constructive criticisms, sorry.

Please write more - this is the most lucid, the most infective piece I've found on the site so far. I shall endeavor to loo kat your other stuff :) Thanks for writing

Reviewer: midnightred777
Date: 05/18/09 0:55
Chapter: Hallows

i love this story you have to finish it. it just how you think they would have fallen in "love" PS dont take too long^^

Reviewer: captburke
Date: 01/22/09 20:49
Chapter: Hallows

Good writing.

Reviewer: captburke
Date: 01/22/09 20:40
Chapter: Difficulties

And politics raises it's ugly head. You've portrayed Ariana as I pictured her from DH. Actually, you're writing all of them as I pictured them at this stage in their lives. Very believeable storyline.

Reviewer: linnealovegood
Date: 01/22/09 20:29
Chapter: Hallows

that is freeking amazing

Reviewer: captburke
Date: 01/22/09 20:25
Chapter: A Morning Visit

Flowing smoothly and naturally so far. I can see Albus being totally unaware of what's going on with his brother and sister. And I can easily see Aberforth wanting to smack him upside the head.

Reviewer: captburke
Date: 01/22/09 20:07
Chapter: Gathering

So far I like it.

Reviewer: captburke
Date: 01/22/09 19:33
Chapter: Prologue: Beginnings and Ends

Interesting beginning.

Reviewer: Charles Sinclair
Date: 08/01/08 4:01
Chapter: Prologue: Beginnings and Ends

Please update soon, the agony of not knowing is too ghastly for words. Please!

Reviewer: Binka Fudge
Date: 06/23/08 16:52
Chapter: Difficulties

I'm hooked. It's rather hard to connect this young Dumbledore with the one we know and love, but the gap is lessening with each chapter i read. It's amazing how you've given them all such strong identities despite having so little information from canon. Ab and Ariana are very well crafted characters for instance. I can certainly see Gellett's appeal, as soon as he was mentioned at the Longbottom wedding my interest was caught and when he and Albus went of for a walk i felt like joining them. He seems the sort of person who can make you believe anything, however wild and unlikely, is possible and that you can achieve anything if only you try. I'd love to know somebody like that with whom I could discuss ideas and behave as i might, but I'm afraid I'm not clever enough to join in with either of them. You've really got a depth into their conversations straight away and I can't wait to read more, so please update again soon.

Reviewer: JaySlytherinGirl
Date: 06/13/08 12:54
Chapter: Prologue: Beginnings and Ends

Very well-written and rich of details. You really seem to understand Albus' situation, and Gellert behaves exactly as I (and everyone else, I guess) expected him to behave. Great fanfiction, really, my favorite by far. I can't wait to read the next chapters!

Reviewer: kumydabookworm
Date: 05/26/08 9:44
Chapter: A Morning Visit

Lovely, VV! :) I popped on specifically to read the new stuff by you and this is lovely. The particular thing that I like about it is that there is so much detail thrown into each sentence -- you never waste a word in the entire narrative. The "f to the v and v to the w" bit...the way you phrased that was wonderful.

There's a constant infusion of details into the reader's mental imagery of what's going on in the story as well as a constant variation of phrasing that keeps everything new and fresh.

You have to think while you're reading this. Wait, no, that's the wrong word: you have to focus while you're reading this or you get lost in the beautiful twisting poetry of the words and miss a detail or two.

I dearly, dearly love this story -- more than the actual plot or telling of it (Albus/Grindelwald doesn't particularly interest me) but rather the crafting of it.

Beautifully done. *applause* Hope to read more soon. Thank you for providing me with a lovely diversion from studying! :)

Author's Response: O hooray! A Kumy review! Glad to see you, dear, and glad you're enjoying this. If it makes you think and/or focus, so much the better!

Reviewer: Charles Sinclair
Date: 05/26/08 0:07
Chapter: Prologue: Beginnings and Ends

I can’t do justice to the sensation in which it thrilled me to the core of my being to see that you had taken up this story. Firstly, because it has been strident in its near total absence, and secondly because I absolutely love your writing. You just seem to possess an unrivalled feel for the characters, darkly scratching away at motives that few would readily suspect. I was mildly surprised that you elected your patron to be Jane Austen. In my ignorance I would have classed you as more a favourer of the Brontes.

I think part of what’s holding people back on Dumbledore era is the crippling vacuum of ambiguity about other details of the time. That is, it is a difficult task because Dumbledore seems to be more defined by what we don’t know then by what we do. Throughout most of the stories he just exists, omniscient and untouchable, usually only appearing to make profound/quizzical remarks at the end. Not really one for sustained experiences in short. Around him is created this aura of mystery and extreme power that its difficult to be candid about.

Though I’ve never written a damn thing in my life, and intend not to, I have a bunch of shitty thoughts about this story specifically and the situation in general that I’m going to put forward for you to feel free to take, discard, mock, and do well nigh what you please with them.

-Arriana’s unhingement or what will you seems to have been treated a little flippantly since her appearance. Perhaps this is a reflection of Dumbledore’s carelessness, but it thus far seems to lack a sense of foreboding, or real problematic danger, that the story would perhaps profit from being sculpted. I always envisioned it producing pity, paranoia and resentment in the brothers, combined with the remarkably duplicity of character that Dumbledore and his mother seemed to possess in pretending nothing was wrong. Possibly another source of Aberforth’s resentment?

-Arriana’s situation is paralleled uncannily by that of another of Rowlings characters, that of Barty Crouch Jnr. After suffering vicious experiences both are kept at home secluded and deranged, for there own betterment, to some possible displeasure on behalf of there keepers. What would Dumbledore feel, hearing Barty’s story all those years later? What other echo’s in the situation might there be?

-I would be very wary of trying to invoke pity for Dumbledore through being “left out”. It doesn’t seem very plausible with the few facts that we’ve been given. One can win sympathy with the anti hero for other reasons.

-Gellert’s character, since receiving a speaking role, seems to be developing a bit into a spiritless flibbertigibbet. If the teenage D. finds this charming, then it is difficult to empathize with the emotion. He just seems to lack some of the wilful, fierce liveliness that Rowling seems indicate was part of his powerful appeal, that combined with brilliance, was enough so to disregard any signs of wickedness or downright cruelty.

Author's Response: Hmm. I'll have to go over the impending chapters carefully with these comments in mind. Gellert is -- Gellert. He keeps running off on me and turning chapters inside out, which is entirely in character though sometimes the chapter's portrayal is NOT. In short, he's a pain. I haven't found out how to bribe him into behaving just yet. Ariana has her moments in the same vein. Right now, she's spending a lot of time with Aberforth and is happy about that, but give her an inch.... But you didn't comment in order to hear about my staffing problems. This is very much a story that writes itself and lets me in on the developments when I read them. Alas, this means the writer's block also happens more than I'm used to. Perhaps a bag of lemon drops would help. Thanks for reviewing! Oh, and Austen is part of a large family, or "crew" if you follow Melville, of influences. I just led a discussion group on P&P and fanfic this term, is all.

Reviewer: Pendraegona
Date: 05/19/08 17:58
Chapter: Gathering

There is something real and very much alive in how you capture raw emotion and desperation with your words, something so much more beautiful than saying Albus is depressed or feels cheated out of a promising future. Your presentation of Gellert from a distance twice (at the wedding, being the rascal Albus can't be anymore, and framed in the lit window, as seemingly perfect and naive as Albus wants to be) was simple, powerful, and appropriate. He stood out more for his silence throughout the chapter and his smile in the midst of a group of people like Tofty, Bagshot, and Augusta Longbottom, who are making conversation and being "almost sincere." Of all the gods you might have chosen to compare Gellert to, Hermes was a particularly good choice, esp. in the greater context of the story.

Pity isn't all that difficult a feat to achieve in fanfiction, but empathy is. Well done indeed!

Author's Response: Aw, thanks! I've been appreciating your reviews.

Reviewer: I lovesmesomeHarry
Date: 05/18/08 22:24
Chapter: Gathering

ooooooooooooooooooooooo! love this! and i love horny Dumbledore.... Is that bad? awesome work!

Author's Response: I rather like him that way myself. *giggle*

Reviewer: claymor
Date: 05/14/08 7:58
Chapter: Prologue: Beginnings and Ends

I was reviewing my old emails and found that I had missed this notice. I love your stories and am glad that I found this. I hope that you have not abandoned the story.

Reviewer: Spottedcat
Date: 05/01/08 14:55
Chapter: Prologue: Beginnings and Ends

I'm hooked! Now I'm waiting, as patiently as I can...

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