Oh, that was beautiful. I don't read a lot of founder-era stories on the whole, but I truly enjoyed yours. I liked your ideas on where the four came from . . . it was a little different than what I usually see, but still believable. And I loved that Helga owned a pub -- it's absolutely perfect. =]
Having Salazar leave Hogwarts not only because of the Muggleborns coming to the school, but because Rowena was a Muggleborn, was an idea I'd never seen before. I'm not sure if I agree with it -- I'd imagined all the founders being pureblood . . . but evem if Rowena was a Muggleborn, then I would think (or at least hope) that by the time she and Salazar are wed and have a child, he would love her for who she was already. Still, it's definitely an interesting thought.
Another aspect I thought was unique -- and this one I also liked a good deal -- was how afraid they were to talk of the fact that they had magic powers freely. It makes so much sense, when I think about it, what with all the witch persecution going on in that time, but I'd never thought of it before!
One slight nit-pick -- watch your then/thans. I can't remember specific places now, but there were several spots that you used a 'then' instead of a 'than'. Otherwise, I really liked the fic --nice work! :D
Author's Response: Thank you. You obviously read carefully and I am super-happy you enjoyed it. :) And yes-- you caught my chronic mistake: then vs. than. I always say 'then'... always. Awful habit. Everyone from my mother to my chemistry teacher has tried to cure me of it. All to no avail. Sigh. I'll have to remember to tell my betas to look for that in particular! *squishes* ~Fauna
Great job on this! I never was tempted to read a Founders' era fic before, but it was written by you so I knew it had to be well-done. And I was not disappointed in the least.
First of all, you did an excellent job of creating the Old English mood. Portraying the bleakness of the daily life was right on. You also did a really good job of keeping your language consistent. It was not at all hard to follow or awkward.
This part was particularly interesting:
[QUOTE]“Ach, lass,” he smiled, “in thy wee hands lies more than meets the eye. Ye go now and fetch thy herbs and remedies and I’ll get thy horse.” He winked and patted my shoulder. “I’ve known thy secret many a year, little raven. Go on now; the lad will need thee by and by.” I threw my arms about his shaggy old neck and thanked him, and then ran for my remedies as fast as my feet would carry me.[/QUOTE]
You did a nice job with the dialect without going overboard. It was a nice touch that helps orient a reader to the geography without saying specifically, "Well this is where we are and this is how the people here act."
One of the only errors that caught my eye repeatedly was your use of 'then' instead of 'than.'
However, I thought your version of the Founders' story was believable; I only wish you were planning to develop it into a multi-chaptered story. I think there are a lot of plotlines to explore.
Author's Response: Thank you for the detailed and encouraging review. You made me smile.... This story was actually a Christmas surprise 'drabble' for SquibKitten. It really should have stayed under 500 words (lol) but once I started I just couldn't stop. I had to send it in two PMs! *blushes* But she loved it and betaed it for me and asked me to post it. So there it is. I grew rather find of it while I was writing it, and I have never been able to get rid of the Founder's bug since. However, as you know, I have OBW in the works right now, so the Founders had to take the backseat. But yes-- this easily could have been a full scale story given more time & attention. [I really wish they would fix the site so we could make paragraphs in our responses. *sigh*] Thank you again, beta-dear! ~Fauna
I love it! The characterization is awesome and the narration is very beautiful. I've never read a founders fic before, and I hope the rest are as good as this one!
The only criticism I have is that there's a lack of transition between Godric and Rowena's story and the group's story in London. Oh, and spelling.
Amazing fic! Keep writing!
Author's Response: Thank you. *hugs* ~Fauna
I'm just not familar with old English. I know that thats the style you were going for, and noticed some things that were deliberate. It was obvious what you meant.
Author's Response: ... glad I wasn't being confusing. ~F
Hi. I enjoyed your take on how the founders met, and why Godric and Salazar fought so bitterly.
Minor typo that I spotted [i]Every now and then a new one came my way, but they were exceeding rare.[i] I think that exceeding should be exceedingly here.
Once again nice story.
Author's Response: Thank you, Elf01. I am glad you enjoyed it. The 'exceeding' was actually on purpose. I wrote the story in a style slightly imitating old English. The 'ly' ending gets dropped from time to time in older writings. However, since it is confusing, I will think about changing it. And thank you again for the review. It means a lot that you took the time to do so! *hugs* ~ Fauna
This is an amazing story. Great plot. A few typos here and there though. Nicely written.
Author's Response: Thank you! *hugs* I will check again for typos. ~Fauna
OMG that was awesome!!! It was so good I wish you'd make more like it:) Great job, Definitely going in my favorites:)
Author's Response: Hey there, you! My loyal reviewer. *Hugs* I can always rely on you! ~ Fauna
:O Oh...my...God...that was AWESOME! It was beautifully written, characterized extremely well, and very interesting to read. I love how you used ye-olde-English to write, even when people weren't speaking, but it wasn't boring or difficult. And how each section was a different founder's point of view, and...everything! total awesomeness!
Author's Response: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I have the biggest, silliest grin of happiness plastered across my face right now.... You totally made my Monday. ~Fauna