Reviewer: Sirius Girl 08
Date: 04/23/08 2:53
Chapter: Chapter One: I'm All Dressed Up and Ready to Play

Hey Jessica,

I really like this first chapter and I can't wait to read the rest.

Dante seems very good looking (at least in my head!) and I want to know why he was drowning his sorrows even more than Dacia was. She seems like a very interesting character too - kind of like Remus in the way she thinks of herself but she's different in that she has even more of an idea of what she's lost due to the change coming so much later in her life and that fact seems to torture her to a much greater extent.

All in all, well done love and keep up the good work :-)

Ruth

Author's Response: Bahah, Dante is good-looking; good job picking that out! XD And wow, you spotted out everything, didn't you?o.o You'll definitely know next chapter why Dante is like that. Yeah, she's like Remus, but let's hope she doesn't abandon her child, eh? (If she has a child...) bahha. Oh, questions, and thanks for the review, it was supersuper sweet.(:

Reviewer: Afifa
Date: 04/22/08 18:58
Chapter: Chapter One: I'm All Dressed Up and Ready to Play

Ah, lovely start, Jess. =)
The summary was very well written, very interesting. It perked my attention. Same with the chapter. What I liked was your description of Dacia. You pictured her as one with scars and all. She isn't supposed to be having breath taking beauty as several other fics have. Of course, she's a werewolf, so she has all those scratches, but that's revealed later. Anyways, all in all, it was a wonderful start, and I can't wait to read the next chapter. =)

Author's Response: All of these compliments about my summary are drowning me in happiness, ha. (: Wewt.:* Yay for scars, hah. As you already mentioned, we've got two weeks for the next chapter.xD haha. Thanks Afifa, another review that made me smile.(:

Reviewer: TCole
Date: 04/22/08 15:42
Chapter: Chapter One: I'm All Dressed Up and Ready to Play

Hello, Jess, my love. =) Here is the review that I promised you last night.

Alright. I just want to say that this story is extremely interesting so far. The summary was excellent, and it definitely pulls you in to read the story. The beginning of it is extremely well written also. As soon as you start reading, a bunch of questions start forming in your mind about what Dacia is, what happened, and all that stuff. Very good. =)

Now.. I noticed a few things throughout the story that I'd like to point out to you.

However, it couldn’t soothe last long and those dreaded thoughts would attack once more.

This sentence doesn't make sense. Maybe you meant to say "However, it couldn't soothe long enough..." or at least something along those lines. The way it is right now, though, it's extremely confusing, and it doesn't really make any sense.

After a couple of minutes of limited drinking, however, Dacia put the drink down. She thought it was going to satisfy her, but it did nothing for;

I just thought I'd point this out to you.. You forgot to put the word "her" after the word "for" at the end of that sentence. =D It doesn't really make too much sense if you leave it like that.

Since she was already observing her bottle in her bored state, Dacia continued to look around the bar.

You say that Dacia continued to look around the bar, but if she was observing her bottle then she wasn't really looking around the bar in the first place.. She would have been looking at the bottle. I would probably fix that, and possibly just say that after observing the bottle, she began to look around the bar. Something like that.

I think they were all of the things that I noticed.. I really did like this story, Jess. It's off to a wonderful start, and I honestly can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter. You're a great writer, love. Keep up the great work with this story. I know you were excited for it to finally be up, and now I completely understand why. It's wonderful! =)

Author's Response: Thanks Tiff! Two amazing reviews, makes you happy, you know? And as I said eariler, I'm sooo glad you loved the summary; that makes me happy too. Your whole review made me happy (now to fix those typos), bahha. Again, thanks. :D

Reviewer: Cirelondiel
Date: 04/22/08 6:49
Chapter: Chapter One: I'm All Dressed Up and Ready to Play

Ooh, a good start, Jess. I'm intrigued!

Your title and summary really caught my attention and I could tell from the summary that this fic would be unique - which this chapter confirmed. This was a good overview of Dacia's past and her view of herself. The thing that interests me most is her attraction to Dante, of which we're only given brief glimpses. The last line of the summary: "And besides, I don’t want the vampire or werewolf communities seizing control of the Ministry because I’ve already seen what they’ve done" has really got me wondering what's happened, too; and I'm sure we'll see more about this in later chapters. My favourite line is probably this: "It (drinking) couldn’t save her, but then who or what could?" Again, it gets me wondering.

Sooo, all in all, this has got me asking lots of questions, just as the opening of a story should. And it looks like this will be a good mix of danger, action and roooomance.

I didn't spot any typos, either... :D

"Damn full moon, Dacia thought quietly to herself." Is it possible to think loudly? Heehee. I see what you mean, though... I picture her thinking kind of sadly to herself, in her quiet apartment.

I'll be looking out for updates (I'm sure they'll all be announced in the BB, no?); I'm very interested to see where this goes!

*gently but not annoyingly prods to update soon, lol*
~ Chels

Author's Response: I'm working on updating it right now. I'm editing Chapter Two. And of coures, you can expect floods of 'Of Blood' in BB, bahah.(: Thank you for your review, Chels, it made me smile-- big time.:D

Reviewer: bob6913
Date: 04/21/08 21:12
Chapter: Chapter One: I'm All Dressed Up and Ready to Play

This is pretty interesting so far.

Author's Response: Thanks.(:

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
M.I.T.: Entente Cordial by Northumbrian 6th-7th Years
A strange and seemingly inexplicable death in London's West End brings an unlikely...
A Squib's Journey by ntoforhp 6th-7th Years
Jeffery Potter always had sensed he was somehow different from his playmates...
Out of the Blue by Secret Marauder 90 1st-2nd Years
This story weaves the tale of James and Lily from the day they met right up...
FEATURED
Five Christmases by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
It took four Christmases for Andromeda Black and Ted Tonks to get together...
Coming Alive by The owl 6th-7th Years
Leanne Gamp hadn't wanted to be at that party, even though it was Christmas...
Graves by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
In December of 1997, Harry visits his parents' graves in Godric's Hollow and...
CATEGORIES