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Name: Pussycat123 (Signed) · Date: 08/16/08 14:53 · For: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him
I love the fact that as well as hating Tyrone, she can't stand Mr Darcy. And at the same time, she's totally taken in by Wickham/Wolfgang. Very nicely done.

Also, RETURN OF THE TOADS FOR TYRONE! I love those darn toads already. I knew I wasn't the only one who thought toads needed a comeback. And poor Ivy with the whole Ted business! They're so adorably one person. Even if Ted is being kind of stupid. But he must be feeling JUST as bad as her, right? I mean, I can't really imagine him just dancing around all lalala because he'd left his wife and kid (ish - ha! I know someone who says that all the time too). I can't wait to hear more about Holly and Jonathon. They sound so cute. Only ... why ARE their names so similar? =D

I hope you get back soon and start updating again. *Does the get back soon dance*. Wow ... that was spectacularly random.

Where's Jordan? ^_^ I really, really hope he's not on a hobo bench or something.

Author's Response: Yeps, you totally caught onto the subtleties of Emma's "Pride and Prejudice" reading there. Though honestly, when I first started reading "Pride and Prejudice," I also hated Mr. Darcy! I love toads... I enthusiastically kept several frogs, so I always thought it was a little sad that toads are considered uncool.

We'll see a lot more of the whole Ivy and Ted thing in the next chapter, and you might feel better about Ted. We do get a glimpse into how Ted's feeling later. There's a LOT of mushiness in the next chapter, which may or may not be a good thing.

Yeah, I know someone who says 'ish' all the time, too! Terrence the Ishfriend is inspired by a real person I know. He doesn't actually like purple, though. Holly and Jonathan's names are so similar because I named them that when I was twelve, and I never bothered to change it because they weren't major characters until this story. Ophidias' name was originally Draco Malfoy Jr. or something, and Vladislav's name was originally Dmitrovich. A bunch of minor characters' names got changed as well.

We don't see much of Jordan in this story because it's really hard to write anything about him without giving spoilers for the third book. Granted, this is AU from the trilogy, and a lot of things ARE different, but I don't want to have to make up a million new things about Jordan that don't apply. We see him in about chapter ten or eleven, so you keep your eyes peeled.

Name: Pussycat123 (Signed) · Date: 08/16/08 13:55 · For: Chapter 5: Abandoning Pregnant Wives-- A Fun Lupin Family Tradition
Oh my cod, Emma's total destruction of P&P is just hilarious! It makes me laugh so much! I might have to revisit these parts in a few months when I'm studying it for school. I imagine it will be some light relief, because I've noticed that no matter how good a book is when you read it, as soon as you study it in class it's just wrecked.

But I also love that as Emma's being like "What a stupid book" the same thigns are happening in HER life. And you do it really well, by the way. I think "Hmm, in P&P this happens like this, so in this version it will probably happen this way" but then you just do something I wasn't expecting at all, but which makes even MORE sense. Uh. If that makes any sense at all ...

Moving on. That dancing game sounds SO MUCH FUN! It would be horribly awkward, but also really fun at the same time. Especially watching other people do it.

Oh, and prunes? Hilarious. =D

Author's Response: "Oh my cod." Hehehe. Oh, you have to read P&P for school? I usually don't mind dissecting a book I already liked, but I hated reading "Jane Eyre" in school, and when I gave it a second try a year later, I really liked it because I didn't have to analyze it. I HATE analyzing stories. Blehhh. Thanks so much for the compliments on how I adapted the storyline to real life! I put a lot of the plot elements in a different order to condense the storyline more, but I tried to keep fairly close to the original... though my story's more about dating than marriage, and I don't have any balls in the story. I had fun coming up with the dancing game. My favourite part was B.C. dancing with the little kid.

Name: Afifa (Signed) · Date: 08/15/08 22:00 · For: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him

Wow! Another fantastic chapter! =D

“Don’t worry,” chirped Haley, as though reading my mind. “Wolfgang’s adorable, but he’s not my type. He looks like a girl. I like a man who looks more like one.”

I stared her. “Haley, you don’t have a ‘type.’ You like everything with a y-chromosome.”

LOL. This made me laugh so hard, I had to clasp my hand on my mouth! LOl.

“What about that vampire that tried to kill me in the alleyway last year?”


“No, that was your diseased imagination, Haley. Bloodstained, maybe.”


Do I catch a Twilight reference here? =p I still haven't read it though. =O

Still, it’s an undeniable fact that he’s carrying on the proud tradition of socially inept Potter boys.

Poor James, he'd be so disappointed, yeah?

I wonder if Tyrone remembered that his pets were, in fact, toads.

I wondered that too. I mean, really! You don't go on about water temperature and all about toads! =O 

Oh, and the summary was absolutely hilarious! =D

Author's Response: Thanks so much! The funny thing is, I know so many people like Haley, who really do like random boys simply because they're boys and no other reason. That was definitely a Twilight reference-- I strongly dislike Twilight, so I sometimes like to make fun of it, beause my friends and my sister are so obsessed. James might be disappointed with Jordan, but Jonathan (while a bit dreamy and out of it) certainly gets into a sufficient amount of trouble to make James proud!

One reason why I made Tyrone so obsessed with taking care of his toads is because it's part of indirectly showing that he's a really affectionate person! Because later, we see how well he takes care of his sister, but I just wanted to play up that aspect of his character.

Name: mahogany_wand (Signed) · Date: 08/15/08 20:11 · For: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him
I Looooove the Tyrone song!!!!!! And all of the Tyronion in this chapter, basically. I still want more Tyremma, though! TYREMMA ROX!!!!! Onh a differant note, I loved the Twilight reference! HE WAS SPARKLY!!!!! Although you mentioned that you hated Edward, maybe you should read New Moon because there's like, NO Edward in it. (Boo hoo) But yeah.


Author's Response: Thanks so much! I had lots of fun with the Tyrone song. And in case you're curious, there will be SO much more Tyremma to come. Especially in forthcoming chapters. I did read New Moon-- I read it before Twilight! Funnily, I don't really like Jacob, either. I think he's more interesting than Edward, but honestly, he scares me! However, even though I don't like Edward, Haley SURE does!

Name: Helios Sol (Signed) · Date: 08/14/08 22:29 · For: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him
Gah!!!! Again, I lost what I have wrote because I clicked something!
-That's a very disturbing song.
-I am suddenly connecting strongly to Emma...or her personality, rather. I can't do false symapthy very well either. A day or two of real, then I can't stand it any longer. So then I can't fake it;. Very bad, especially with the personality clash I have with my parents.
-"The little creature". Yup. Very like me. Can't stand babies.
-Really? Emma would freak out over that use of the word miscarriage? I'd think she'd go into a sort of awkward, fidgety silence.
-Patrick is a.... Grr. I can't remember the word. Does it rhyme? Hmm. Wait, got it. [Insert Choice Descriptive Expletitive Here].
-I'd probably have jinxed Patrick into something very unpleasant.
-Cat breeder? Shouldn't it be Kneazle-breeder? Bit more magical.
-I can see Emma as an assassin. Definitely.
-Yes! SIlencio'd Haley. Brilliant. Kind of funny with her reaction. They make action figures of musical characters? Hmm. Then again, that's capitalism for you. Ha.
-Hmm...Haley+responsibility=Extremely suspicious.
-Not quite as lame as writing "NEXT MORNING"...why not be more subtle? Kind of makes it too easy. This isn't a national English exam.
-Wait, Ted has a brother? What did I miss?
-He was sparkly? Hooray for being excessively shallow. No. That's not it. What do you call it when someone doesn't care when someone fixates on something minor, but in a positive way? Hmm. Wish I had some kind of reverse dictionary. Ah, the future, what will you bring us? No oil? An ice cream cone of plastic that turns the ice cream for you so you just have to hold it to your tongue and it does the work for you? Oh, hang on, we already have that. Hooray for American laziness.
-"I hadn’t seen my parents in so long that I was almost beginning to fondly remember my dad’s rabid overprotection and my mum’s dogged insistence that I do something ‘educational'" Now that, that is never a good sign.
-Emotions and logic don't mix. Kind of like politics and optimism.
-Funny. I'd have called him Terrence the Ishfiend.
-Very strange. Going from strange to mushy in a day seems kind of multipersonality disorder. Ish.
-What's slow-motion velvet--*chokes*
-Wow. Still has those toads. Let me think this is seven years after Tyrone got Fido? I don't think they live that long. Or is he a magical toad?
-I believe Ron had a tank of frogspawn. Only one survived.
-Very good use of Ron's obliviousness. Or, obliviosity if you like. True English language skills, that's me.
-Oooh, two days. You're so much older.
-Ice dripping from eyeballs? What, was he crying with cold fury?

This is better than the last two chapters of The Past. I feel this was a little off of what I see as Emma, but it is your character. Ivy seemed a bit...two-demensional? Just...not fleshed out, you know what I mean? I give it an 8.75/10.

Author's Response: Ahahaha, that IS a disturbing song, but I love it. If you ever hear the real song, it's even more disturbing because it's sung by a green animated walrus with lipstick and eyeliner, a Santa hat, and googly eyes. And his voice is disgustingly WEIRD.

Yeah, I have trouble acting sympathetic, too. When my friends get all upset and are freaking out, I just stand there going, "oh" and trying to think of some way to act freaked out as well. It's not because I don't feel sorry for them, because I do-- I feel so bad that sometimes I go home and cry about it. I just don't ever know what to say. That's really the only kind of emotion I have trouble with-- in everything else, I totally wear my heart on my sleeve!

I don't think Emma would freak out over the word 'miscarriage,' but she freaks out at the idea of Ted and Ivy having, erm, bowchickabowwow, and 'like four miscarriages' kind of emphasizes that. If you knew someone since birth, you'd probably not like the idea of him and his wife gettin' freaky, either! Or maybe that's just me. Basically, Emma's really immature when it comes to that type of thing. For Patrick I always said "Son of a billiard cue," but for a rather better term, I'd say he's a basketweaver. I like to make up these things.

Unfortunately, I don't think Emma'd hex Patrick, because she just got temporarily sacked, and if she did anything too nasty to Patrick, she'd probably get permanently sacked. Otherwise, she'd go full-on hex-happy! I said cat breeder rather that Kneazle breeder, because Emma really likes cats and she has one of her own... and he is named the Rum Tum Tugger, who is the most, erm, sexual cat from the musical "Cats." Played by Terrence Mann, tied with Michael Ball for musical theatre awesomeness, but that's off-topic. So Rum Tum Tugger probably would start breeding with great ease.

Haven't you noticed I always mark time division like that? "Next morning?" "Later, same day?" Emma started off marking the days of the week on her diary entries, but then she got sick of it. Later in the journal, she gets even sicker of it and starts saying things like "SOME OTHER TIME" and "COUPLE DAYS LATER".

Ted has an older brother and sister who are occasionally mentioned but never appear in the first two books. It's rather funny that Haley thinks Ted's brother is attractive, because Ted's brother (Nathanael) is a Metamorphmagus! He also plays a bigger part in the third book. Ted's older sister is named Christina. I thought Ted had a very "Little brother" kind of personality, so I made up older siblings for him when I first created the character for roleplays back when I was twelve. I totally laughed out loud when you said, "Ah, the future, what will you bring us? No oil?" And Terrence the Ishfiend... that is AMAZING. I may have to use that later. Multiple personality disorderish indeed. I think he was just burying his emotions, and then Emma said the wrong thing when she asked what he meant by 'ish.' But the funny thing is, Terrence the Ishfriend is based on a real person. I think most people have an Ishfriend at some point in their life.

Either Tyrone takes very good care of Fido, or he's magical, or... it's a different Fido. *gasp* Originally, the toads were named Rover and Fluffy, but I didn't like the idea of directly stating that Fido had died, especially when a bunch of my readers just met him in another story, so I put the name Fido back in. You can interpret it how you want. OR.. OR he's secretly some Peter Pettigrew-like guy in Animagus form. Heck, that's why Scabbers lived so long.

Ron had a tank of frogspawn, and then later the tank just had one big frog in it, but since that was two years later, I assumed that the other frogs had just died in the interval. I've had four frogs, all of which died within two years. I love the word 'obliviosity.' It reminds me of one of the songs from "Little Mermaid," which is called "Positoovity," and morphs into "Poositrocity" by the end of the song.

The two days older thing comes up several times in the trilogy, particularly bits of the third book that I haven't posted yet-- Emma was born the day before Halloween, and Tyrone was born the day after. I remember at the end of the first book, Tyrone held the door open for Emma, and then he said "Age before beauty." Oh, that clown Tyrone. Hahahaha, crying with cold fury. I just meant he was giving him a hard, cold look, but yours is better.

Hmm, I didn't see that with Emma, but I guess the thing is, it's always a challenge to put a character in a new situation. I know what you meant about Ivy, though. She's a hard character to write as an adult-- it's hard to write her as a kid, too, actually. But we see a lot more of her in the story, starting with next chapter. Writing about her is the hardest part of this story, especially since I've obviously never been pregnant or married, so I don't really know how it affects your emotions and stuff.

Name: MandyBlack (Signed) · Date: 08/14/08 21:54 · For: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him
OMG! This story is so awesome-ish!!! it rocks! I think Emma's sarchastic point of view makes everything sound hilarious and you are really creative! update more ofte please!!1 :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I felt like, "Well, I feel really awkward writing romance, so if I do, I'm going to write it from the most cynical, sarcastic, unromantic point of view that I can!" This chapter took awhile to update because it was rejected, but I'm already done with the next one, so that one should be up more quickly.

Name: Rhian Elizabeth (Signed) · Date: 08/14/08 21:48 · For: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him
This was a great chapter, as always. Your analogies are great...

One of my characters actually did stick a banana in someone's ear, but she's a bit like Haley, so it's not that unusual.

And I ready the Tyrone song...Hilarious! You know, I WAS Gaston for quite a bit when I was four. That was almost as fun as trying to explain my obsession with Han Solo to Kay.

Author's Response: Thank you! Hehehe, I'd love to see Haley try to fit a banana into someone's ear. It'd probably take awhile before she realized that the ear canal is far too small. Glad you like the Tyrone song-- I LOVE Gaston, though I actually love the Beast more (especially when he's played by the only star that shines as brightly as Michael Ball-- TERRENCE MANN). Actually, I love "Beauty and the Beast" because the two male leads are both basses! Basses rock! Tenors always get to be the leads, and it's nice when basses get a chance. It's so funny that you wanted to be Gaston when you were little... I'll tell you who I WAS, but you won't find it as cool.

I convinced myself that I was Kitten Marie from "The Aristocats," which was my favourite movie and which I watched almost every day. I drank milk out of a bowl on the floor, and I wouldn't answer to any name except Kitten Marie. I called my little brother Berlioz and my sister Toulous (they didn't like it and wouldn't answer to those names, so I'd get very frustrated). Even today, I still have a couple of Kitten Marie t-shirts and earrings and a necklace and a notebook, but I've moved on-- now my favourites are Scar, Frollo, and King Triton!

Name: Hermione Lurves Ron (Signed) · Date: 08/14/08 20:34 · For: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him
OMG!! You used a Thoroughly Modern Millie song!! That's like the best musical ever!!!
And I guess you saw Charlie the Unicorn 2.
BTW, I love this story.

Author's Response: I've still never seen all of "Thoroughly Modern Millie" (my school was supposed to put it on two years ago, but we did "Annie" instead when two other nearby schools picked "Millie," but I know a lot of songs from it. One of my favourite actors, Christian Borle, played the role of Jimmy on Broadway (not on the original cast album, that was Gavin Creel, I think), and so I took an active interest in learning some of the songs! And yes, I love Charlie the Unicorn. It's so psycho and makes no sense, and that's precisely why I love it.

Name: ringobeatlesfan4 (Signed) · Date: 08/14/08 19:04 · For: Prologue: Me, Me, and Also Meeee
Right forgot this part of the last review: I loved the Tyrone song in your author page. I only know Gaston is because my cousin was in the musical. My favorite part:

No one flirts like Tyrone!

Looks up skirts like Tyrone…
No one else is the king of perverts like Tyrone!

Emma Weasley’s incredibly irritating!
^^Incredibly perfect. Great job with this and the chapter (how did you come up with this again?)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! This is the first comment I've gotten on my song. I came up with the song because I was just listening to "Gaston" on my iPod, and I realized the song reminded me of Tyrone! By the way, tell your cousin that I'm totally jealous of him/her. I've always wanted to be Beauty and the Beast, for my WHOLE LIFE. It's kind of been one of my life goals.

Name: ringobeatlesfan4 (Signed) · Date: 08/14/08 19:01 · For: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him
“Well, if she even said the word ‘miscarriage’ around you, you’d start running around in circles with your fingers in your ears going ‘lalalalala, can’t hear you!’” she countered.
^^I would. And I know it's too late for your challenge, but I made a the main four Potter's Pentagon girls (Giorgi, Haley, Emma, and Ivy) on dressupchallenge.com. I think they came out good, though. If I remember (and it's ok with all the mods) I'll send a link in a review with the next chapter.

“What about that vampire that tried to kill me in the alleyway last year?”


“No, that was your diseased imagination, Haley. Bloodstained, maybe.”


“Well, what about that traffic cop with the waist-length dreadlocks and the lip piercing?”

Haley stopped in mid ‘SPARKLY’ and gave me a cunning look. “Emma, you fancied him, too,” she informed me.

I sighed. “Okay, you’ve got me there. He was pretty awesome-looking.
^^Me and my friend do this alot! but instead of a traffic cop with dreadlocks, we use Michael Phelps, the USA Olympic swimmer *sigh*

“So,” said Ivy, handily changing the subject, “what happened to the piano?”

All eyes went back to Holly again. “It was an accident!” she exclaimed. That was a good enough explanation for all of us.
^^I love Holly. She's so much like Bridget in one of my fanfics (that was just submitted!) It's Living Our Wildest Dreams and its MWPP era.

(Hehehe. Ish-ue. I crack myself up.)
^^Wow! I've started cracking up for no appaerent reason and reading that line didn't help! I'm gonna die of laughter!

In short, he’s everything that Bilbo Collins is not, and everything that Mr. Emo Darcy wishes he was.
^^Emma's summaries rock.

Really great chapter! I mean, it's not my favorite, but it's still Emma-sih (haha terrence) enough to make it hilariously funny. Great job! {BeccA}

Author's Response: It's never too late for an entry... I keep procrastinating sending it. Hehehe... you can send me that link, but I'd rather you didn't post it on the review page. You can always email or PM me. Okay, this is SO weird. The news is playing behind me, and right when I read the words 'Michael Phelps,' the guy on the news said 'Michael Phelps." I totally saw a traffic cop with long dreadlocks when I was in Denmark, though!

Glad you like Holly. It was fun coming up with a personality for her and Jonathan, because they're just little kids in the Trilogy. Bridget sounds great. GOod luck with your story in queue!

THEY AREN'T EMMA'S SUMMARIES. THEY'RE MINE. STOP GIVING THAT ATTENTION HOG ALL THE CREDIT! No, I'm just kidding. ^_^ I totally attribute this whole story to Emma. I have a lot of fun writing this story as Emma. In case you're curious, I named the Ishfriend "Terrence" because I'd already mentioned Michael Ball in the story, and my other favourite performer is Terrence Mann. So when I needed a name for the Ishfriend, Terrence was the first one to pop into mind.

Name: LilyGinnyWrites92 (Signed) · Date: 08/14/08 17:57 · For: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him
I love your summaries of Pride and Prejudice...they are so funny!

Author's Response: Thank you! Unfortunately, there isn't a summary for chapter seven (it's already over the word limit), but chapter eight has an extra special one.

Name: Luna_Lovegood11 (Signed) · Date: 08/14/08 17:01 · For: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him
Finally! Woot, I cheered when I got the email for this. xD It was amazing, as expected. But very long.

I love the Banana song. It took me a minute to realize what it was, but as soon as I did I was playing it on my computer for lack of something better to do. *Tries for some deep thought for this review* I feel that Haley is becoming progessively more annoying, and that its going to drive Ivy up the wall. Emma's dislike of babies is going to be difficult in the long run, I can tell...

Believe it or not, I still like Patrick. He's getting Emma away from Wolfiekins. That is, in my book, a good thing. Sure, he's all evil now, but still... good... in an odd, creepy way. I like him. Hah.

Ah, a vacation to visit the folks. What a good idea. I think Haley's going to fall for either Wolfgang himself or "Ali". That'd be cool. Ali is awesome. Am I strange?

Psh, I know where you got that sparkly thing from. I cheered. Nice, Haley, nice. She sounds a bit like me with the guy obsessions. That whole part had me grinning, because of the insane people Haley has been attracted to.

I LOVE Holly's character. She is so cool. It seems as if she's me at her age. That makes her awesome. But Johnathan, lets not forget him. He's cool too. People like him are awesome.

I totally understand Ivy. Not from experience... but... Emma's being annoyingly ignorant.

Terrence... HAHAHAHHAHA. That was great. Poor Emma. But she belongs with Tyrooney. xD

Speaking of Tyrooney, he's got an odd obsession with toads. I'm glad to see Fido lives on. Anywho, its good to see the two interacting, no matter how awkwardly. Its still pleasant conversation! xD

Taaabitha! Yay for her! xD

That was as far as I got in Pride and Prejudice. Emma did a great job explaining it. I happened to like Darcy a lot, unlike her. Psh.

Well, this was a suckish review, but I'm not in the mood to sit here and type reviews at the moment. I need to go dance around...and get some food. Because I'm hungry. But, whatever.

Awesome job. Splendid. Wonderful. Lovely. Keep writing! xD

Author's Response: I'm so glad you like the Banana song-- I was afraid I was the only person in the world who knew that song. Haley is indeed annoying, but I love her for it. I also love Ani! (It's not Ali, it's Ani, but you're close.) I don't find it strange at all that you like him, because I sure do. And I'm glad you loved the part about Haley's beaux. And Holly and Jonathan are fun characters to write about, because we only see them as babies in the trilogy!

I believe Emma's annoying ignorance comes to a head in the next chapter (Chapter Seven), but gets much better after that. I love to write about Tyrone, I really do. He's my darling, hehehe. You know what? I like Mr. Darcy, too, even if he's a bit emo... but Emma can't like him, because her feelings toward Mr. Darcy mirror her feelings toward Tyrone. YEP! Oh, by the way, did you see the ridiculous song I wrote that I posted on my author's page? It's wacky!

Name: PadfootnPeeves (Signed) · Date: 08/14/08 16:55 · For: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him
Hurrah, an update!

Haha, me likes the banana song. Tech me the tune, and I'll sing right along with Haley ^_^

Ah, I'm wayyyy too much like Emma. The whole sympathetic thing-- totally me. It's scary.

Vaultz looked as though a cupcake had just begged him not to eat a plate

HAHAHA! I just snorted some chocolate chip 'n' cookie dough ice cream... 'tis a hilarious line! I love Emma's sarcastic comments.

Argh, I hate Vault! And Patrick! *stabs them with fork* Who cares if she was hanging out with Wolfgang... ooh, wait till Tyrone hears about this...

Hehe, I love the idea of Emma being an assasin wearing black leather. I can only guess who she'd assinate (is that a word?) But she was rather rude about Haley not coming sounding appealing... not the best thing to say to your best friend. AND EMMA NEEDS TO STOP THINKNIG THAT HALEY LIKES WOLFGANG. 'Cause I'm certain she doesn't... I hope!

Andy Yang's Tyrone's buddy, correcto? Don't ask me how I remember that. Does the Ravenclaw kid have a name? Ooh, Love a Duck! I like the Twilight reference... althoguh I doubt he'd be sparkly if he was in an alleyway, no? Those things tend to be darker... Anyway, Haley has quite the list of admirerees. My personal favorite is the dude who choked on strawberry ice cream at Florean Fortescue's.

I adore the Harry-Ginny banter. It made me laugh. I love your descriptions of Holly and Jonathan- especially since I tend to think Holly as more of a name for a gentle person; it's good to see on with the opposite personality. Jonathan reminds me of a calmer, more Luna-ish type of Jordan.

She looked at me like I was wearing a dead gorilla on my head Honestly, how do you think these things up? They're so funny!

Okay, I'm glad Terrence isn't in this story. He sounds sooo annoying. I mean, Emma can go out with him, but she can't stand Anatoly? How does that work out?

Teh toads return, myessss! I love Rover's blankie, and am extremely glad Fido's still alive and kicking (well, hopping). How long do toads live, anyways?

Ooh, so Tyrone did hear about it. That wans't the reaction I'd imagined- I thought he'd blow up at Emma for hanging around with Wolfiekins. Hopefully he'll be in the next chapter more- me hearts Tyrone!

Haha, the P&P summary was funnyyy. I've finished the book (heck yes hallelujah!), and yours seems to be much more entertaining, and easier to understand *le gasp* When I was reading the book, I was waiting for Tyrone or Wolfgang to come in, and then I remember that they aren't real. Shame.

Very fun read (I don't want to know how many times I've said 'fun' or'funny' in this review), and the awkwardness was a good laugh. Hopefully it won't be long before the next chapter comes up- the wait is always hard for your stories!
PS- You're going to faint... but who's Michael Ball? Apparently he's a slightly chubby singer, but I've never heard of him. Guess I'll have to Wikipedia him...

Author's Response: I LOVE the banana song. If you go on youtube and type in "Put a banana in your ear," and you will hear the song. Or, alternatively, watch "Charlie The Unicorn 2". The scary lipstick santa walrus who sings the song has the freakiest voice ever. I recommend the Lion King version. I sing it with a bunch of my friends in public.

Wolfgang is an attractive young man. Haley is a flirtatious young girl. I think it would only make sense for her to have a crush on him. You have an amazing memory-- yes, Andy Yang is Tyrone's fwiend. ^_^ It's cool that you'd call Jonathan a Luna-ish Jordan... that sounds like a pretty great description. I should remember this one.

Actually... Terrence DOES show up in this story. Sorry to disappoint you. But, to be totally honest, Emma doesn't like Anatoly because (a. Anatoly's a Slytherin (b. Anatoly was particularly unattractive and even more particularly weird back in school, and (c. Anatoly's not at all impressed with Emma.

I'm not sure how long toads live, but Tyrone takes such freakishly good care of his toads that they'll probably live to be a million years old. Tyrone is in the next chapter a LOT, so you're in luck.

MICHAEL BALL IS MY FAVOURITE PERSON IN THE WORLD. THAT'S WHO. No, sorry, okay. Here we go. Michael Ball is a musical theatre performer and solo artist who played Marius in Les Mis, Raoul in Phantom, Alex in "Aspects of Love," Caractacus Potts in Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang, Fosco in "The Woman In White," Joe in "Sunset Boulevard" and a million other roles. Right now, he's playing EDNA TURNBLAD in HAIRSPRAY on West End. You have no idea how much this thrills me, because Edna is one of my favourite musical theatre characters. Anywho, if you want to see Michael Ball, go on youtube and search "Michael Ball Empty Chairs." I doubt you'll be disappointed!

Name: Vitamin Vicki (Signed) · Date: 08/14/08 16:49 · For: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him

Yes. Yes. Yes. c:


'“Whatcha thinkin’?” said a little voice in my ear as I reached up to grab the cereal out of the pantry. I started and spilled the little flakes everywhere, giving further incentive for the ants to come out of hiding.' Okay, let me just say, that's amazing. I think the ants do that in our house, too. But with sugar and dog food. (Ew, right?)

'“For dancing with Wolfiekins and stuff.”' Dude. I make fun of names like that ALL THE TIME.

'"...Ivy was through with her first trimester before she started spreading the news that she was preggers. ..."' Oh yeah, Haley's really sympathetic. 'Preggers'. c:

'Vaultz gave me the iciest smile I’ve ever seen in my life. And I’ve seen snowmen.' Holy COW that's one of the awesomest lines I've ever seen.

'This is not the time for playing games,” snapped Vaultz.

Except for Quidditch matches, of course, hahaha, I couldn’t help but add mentally.' Hahaha, YES.

'Vaultz looked as though a cupcake had just begged him not to eat a plate.' Oh, Schmergo, where do you find your wonderful lines? Because I will take it. And even if it's all from your brain, I will have no problem cutting out that pile of spaghetti and putting it into my own head. (Whoa. Don't worry, I'm not going to stalk you. I was being entirely sarcastic.)

'Vaultz didn’t even wait for my reply, probably anticipating the scary effect he had on most people’s brains, and he marched away briskly, his usual nimbus of fury swirling around him.' Oh, PFFT. He doesn't scare me. /runs away and hides from him. HE DOESN'T, I SWEAR.

'I shot him a glare that made his shiny white ghoul eyes look tame by comparison. “After pulling a dirty trick like that, you’re the last person I’d want to go to any party with,” I spat, then kicked the stadium gate open and got out of there as fast as I could.' DANG. I was so waiting for her to punch him. DARN IT ALL.

'Only a serious ratfink would think about turning in their fellow trainees.' Ratfink? (I'm stupid.)

'Assassin? I still couldn’t imagine myself being anything but an Auror. (Though I kind of like that last one. Maybe I’d get to wear a glamorous black leather bodysuit.)' Does the fact that I can picture Emma leaping from buildings and dusk in a glamourous black leather bodysuit creep you out? Eh?

'Haley let out a scandalized gasp and brandished two action figures at us, having apparently run out of ceramic kittens.' I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. Yes. But I have to say, I think ceramic kittens would cause more damage. And also, where does she take these from in order to brandish them? Her back pocket? Her hair?

You know how Haley repeated 'You got sacked?' twice? I expected her to keep repeating it after every phrase someone said.

'She didn’t want to have fun when Ted was toughing it out at some ghetto werewolf campground.' All the campgrounds I go to are ghetto. WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO TALK LIKE THEY DON'T MATTER?! :< (I'm actually not that choked up, but every campground we go to has noisy hippie neighbors - I want one of their vans, though - and has grosstastic bathrooms. Well, no, there's a few exceptions. But those were in Canada.)

'Less ceramic kittens and Les Miserables action figures.' NOOO!

'Did I really write that? “Started with a ‘W’ and ended with an ‘olfgang?’ Wow, I’m lame sometimes.' I do that too, Emma, don't worry. I just talked to a fictional character.

'The Australian owl keeper with the really hairy arms who kept yelling, ‘Strewth! Love a duck!’ when the owls kept dive-bombing his privates?' I don't think it was unintentional that you put 'Love a duck!' in there, was it? Yes. I'm more observant than most people think. By the way, I read Love a Duck, I'm just far too lazy to leave a review right now.

'“That sort of fat singer with the silly curly hair who makes all the stupid faces while he’s singing and jumps around the stage and makes every song sound impossibly cheesy?”' MICHAEL BALL! Oh. Haley just said that. Well, I promise you, I knew it was Michael Ball before she said that. I'm proud of myself.

'Her enormous, poofy hair managed to obscure everything else in the room.' I remember in The Dark Lord's Blog... Hermione's 'voluminous' hair that contained several random things. (Many forks, her Great Aunt What's-her-name, and other things I forget.)

'Jonathan’s been known to sit in silence for hours at social events, then randomly interject some kind of totally unrelated statement out of nowhere.' I do that. And I thought I was the only one.

'Terrence’s most notable quirk was his love of the colour purple...' My older brother loves the colour purple. My younger brother thinks it's stupid and loves the color pink. My two oldest brothers think both pink and purple are manly. o.0 (Yeah, I have four brothers. And one lonely sister.)

'“Oh, hey, Mr. Weasley,” said a deep voice that sounded like slow-motion velvet.' That's Tyrone. I'm positive. Let me check. ... Yeah. It is. :>

'I could hear Tyrone still talking in the entry hallway. “The bigger one is Fido, and the little one is Rover. Here’s their food, and you can give them a Fudge Fly every now and then, but not too often, because Fido’s on a diet, and Rover gets hyper when he has too much sugar. Here’s their litter box—they’re both toilet trained—and extra sand for that. And this is their little pool—make sure the water’s room temperature, because Fido can’t take it if it’s hotter, and Rover doesn’t like it colder— and there’s Rover’s special blankie. I think that’s everything.”' OCD much? I love that, though.

'I half expected Tyrone to say ‘I take what I can get.’' I remember him saying that twice so far over yonder in Potter's Pentagon numero tres. (I speak Spanish c: )

'Though perhaps ‘Gollum’ would better suit his personality.' Gollum is probably my favourite character in all the LOTR stories. I hate Bilbo. Meh.

'So Mr. D. goes riding off with several complimentary obscene gestures and glove-slap or two...' I can picture the Mr. Darcy I drew for your challenge on some fat old donkey with really skinny legs and a comical face, doing just that.

'...because he wasn’t a rude git and didn’t randomly yell things like “MY MIND IS A DANK, LONELY CAVE OF SHADOW AND DARKNESS.' Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, YES.

'Oh yeah, and I forgot—remember that Lady Catherine lady that Bilbo seems to fangirl constantly?' Is everyone related in this story?! (I've actually never read it, though I plan on it, even if my image of it will be horrendously and hilariously tainted by your summaries.)

WHOO. More long review chock-full of quotes. Let's throw a party for Vicki's random reviews (double 'R'! :o) that really don't help dear Schmergo at all, since they just point out funny things! Whooooo hoo. :>



Author's Response: VICKKKKKKKKS! THIS IS A WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL LONG REVIEW! And it's lovely to have my first review of the chapter be so wonderful. And yes, your reviews do help me, because they show what you actually like in my story, so I know what worked.

If you think your ants thing is gross, check this out-- MY COMPUTER IS INVADED WITH ANTS. They crawl up and down the computer cords, and they crawl on the wall and up my legs and all over the computer itself. Nowhere else in our house are there ants. Just on the computer. It's a laptop, so wherever I take it becomes ant-infested, too. In the lovely Discworld series by Terry Pratchett, the university's computer is powered by ants. I think I have their computer. Hmph.

I am SO GLAD you singled out my snowman line. I was asleep in bed, and that sentence popped into my head, and I got up and edited it into my story, and pranced around the house being fiendishly proud of myself until my mum sent me back to bed. ^_^ Your line about cutting that spaghetti out of my head made me giggle like an idiot. Hey, you mean to tell me that Vaultz doesn't scare you? You are one brave cookie, missy. Vaultz TERRIFIES THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF ME, and I created him. He looks and sounds exactly like Frollo from Disney's "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" and he haunts my dreams and tells me I'm fired.

Emma SO should have punched Patrick. I guess she figured that he wasn't worth it. And that she didn't want to be PERMANENTLY fired. But you are so right. A ratfink is just a jerk. I got the word from this book I used to love when I was in first grade, "Sideways Stories From Wayside School." Everyone had to write poems about their favourite colour, and this one girl really liked pink, but this boy named John kept being a jerk to her. So in the end, her poem goes: "My favourite colour is pink. John is a ratfink." When I was in first grade, I thought that was the funniest thing I had EVER HEARD. You have no idea. I called people ratfinks all the time until my parents gently told me that was rude.

Emma would be one awesome Ninja assassin. She might be almost TOO good. I imagine her looking like those people from Kim Possible. And I don't believe I've ever seen a full episode of that show, so that's totally random. I think Haley keeps her action figures on her person at all times. Oh, incidentally, I almost DIED when I was in Disney World and discovered that they were SOLD OUT OF COMMODORE NORRINGTON ACTION FIGURES. I LOVE COMMODORE NORRINGTON, AND HE IS MINE, AND I WANT ONE. Add to that the delicious irony of making an *action figure* of the stereotypical repressed Englishman who does anything but take action. Myesss. Hehehe.

I love ghetto campgrounds. I go camping all the time.... we were campin' up in Florida just a few days ago. But Ted's campground is a little more ghetto. As in, no tents. No bathrooms. No privacy. Yeah, not anyplace you'd want to stay. Plus, everyone would want to eat your face off.

The Australian guy saying "Love a duck" is kinda a reference to my story, but it's also based on the fact that I think "Love a duck" is a hilarious phrase... that's why I made it James Potter's signature phrase, I think it sounds so funny that I had to include it.

While I'm very happy that you spotted Michael Ball, I'm also rather saddened that you recognized him based on Emma's overly critical description of him. :-( Oh, speaking of which, for about a week and a half, I had a song from "Evita" called "High Flying Adored" stuck in my head, so I searched youtube to see if Michael Ball had ever done a version of it, because I thought it'd sound great in his voice. He hadn't, and I was despondent. Well, just yesterday (when the song was still in my head), I was searching Michael Ball again on youtube to watch videos of him playing Edna Turnblad in Hairspray, and in the related videos section, I saw one of him... SINGING "HIGH-FLYING ADORED." Which had just been posted that day. YES. MWAAHAHA. And it was beautiful and wonderful and made me smile, because every other person to record that song sounded pretty weird on it (though Antonio Banderas was good, just his accent distracts me.)

My hair is enormous and poofy, so I love to talk about Hermione's hair being enormous and poofy as much as possible, so as to prove that I'm not alone. If, hypothetically, Emma and Tyrone had kids, all of them would have enormous, poofy hair. ^_^ Your brothers' colour preferences make me giggle, but not too much, because my brother has BRIGHT GREEN sneakers that make your eyes melt out of your sockets. Argh.

Your memory is really, really, really good, by the way. Oh, and in case you're curious, my favourite character from LOTR is Sauron. Not Saruman. Sauron. If you want to know why, go to legendaryfrog dot com and watch the "One Ring To Rule Them All" saga. But honestly, I don't like Lord of the Rings. At all. I never saw the appeal.

I totally laughed out loud at your description of Mr. Darcy on the fat old donkey. That just made my day. And yes, ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE in Pride and Prejudice is related. We meet more people who are related later on in the story. It's all one big happy incest fest, just like the wizarding world.

Name: Rhian Elizabeth (Signed) · Date: 08/07/08 20:38 · For: Chapter 2: The Neon Fires Of Niflheim
Okay, now my friend Kay was started imitating Patrick Wormwood. He's so brilliant at it, it's scary.

Author's Response: Hahahahaha... that's really funny. Kay always sounds like someone I'd like. Tell Kay to watch the movie "Pride and Prejudice" (either version) and check out Mr. Collins. Dude's hilarious, and he's totally Patrick.

Name: Afifa (Signed) · Date: 08/06/08 6:38 · For: Chapter 5: Abandoning Pregnant Wives-- A Fun Lupin Family Tradition

Hillarious! I loved the chapter title, it made me LOL. =D

Emma was sorta mean with Ivy... it's not always a good thing to speak out loud what you think.  I feel sorry for Ivy though.

I loved the whole part. The Patrick scene, the dance part, and especially the summary. It made me laugh like crazy. My mum came up to me to ask whether I was okay or not. Lol.

Oh, and I looove long chapters, and had a lot of fun reading this one. =] 

Author's Response: Thank you so miuch! Yeah, I had to use that title, even though I disregarded DH for everything else... Emma was so mean, and I felt terrible writing it. She does a lot of jerk things. I guess if she didn't put her foot in her mouth every two seconds, she wouldn't be Emma, but still, EESH! Have you ever heard the song "Just The Girl?" The one that starts "She's cold and she's cruel but she knows what she's doin'" or whatever? Because that song always makes me think of Tyrone singing about Emma. I'm so glad you liked this... Chapter Six was rejected, so it may be awhile before this story's updated, but I'll try to fix it!

Name: HPisgreat72 (Signed) · Date: 07/28/08 19:14 · For: Chapter 5: Abandoning Pregnant Wives-- A Fun Lupin Family Tradition
Well that was definitely worth the wait, it might have been long but it was all good. I don't think Emma's a jerk, she just had the guts to tell Ivy what she thought, though her reaction at the end to Wolfgang was a bit uncalled for.
The story behind the title was revealed, I didn't think there was one but it's better this way.
Now, I haven't read pride and prejudice but Emma's summary is hilarious. This story has separated Emma from the rest of the girls in my favourite characters, first Jordan, second Ted and third Emma.
The only problem I found was when Emma was trying to work out what B.C. stood for, it's prawn not shrimp, though the other ideas were hilarious.
I also like the chapter title, very good.

Author's Response: Thank you! I do like getting these reviews... Ah, you should know there's always a story behind my titles, weird as they are. When I was doing "Love A Duck!" people thought it was totally random, too, until James started saying it in Chapter Four. The prunes... sorry, pre-juiced plums, are actually rather important in this story! I'm really glad that you like Emma! I felt like a lot of readers didn't like her in the Potter's Pentagon trilogy, and I think that's because Emma's a hard character to understand from a third-person perspective, so I tried putting her in first person, and I think it helps. Her actions seem less random and irrational this way!

Dude, I'm sorry! It is 'prawn,' isn't it! Are you Australian? It's just, the Outback Steakhouse (silly faux-Australian chain of restaurants, one's near my house) has a special called "Shrimp On The Barbie," and I guess I'm used to saying that! *is dumb*

Name: Vitamin Vicki (Signed) · Date: 07/28/08 16:30 · For: Chapter 5: Abandoning Pregnant Wives-- A Fun Lupin Family Tradition
I simply squee-ed at the name of the chapter. Chuckle chuckle. Giggle ha. c: And I can't stop chuckle-giggle-ha-ing at: “My problem with you is… you misunderstand everyone. I AM MISUNDERSTOOD, ELIZABETH. SO MISUNDERSTOOD. MY MIND IS A DANK, LONELY CAVE OF SHADOW AND DARKNESS.” I was like ZOHMAHHOLEHGAWSH. Chuckle giggle HE ha. To review your other stories!

Vicki c: *who can't get enough of Moody!Emma*

Author's Response: Ahahahaha, thanks so much! Though I can't imagine why you'd squee at Ted abandoning his wife! Are you mean or something? ^_^ I'm very glad you think this story's funny... and that you like Moody!Emma. She definitely shows up a lot in the rest of the story. (Though she's not normally QUITE as attitudinous as in Chapter Five.)

Name: James Jameson (Signed) · Date: 07/26/08 16:37 · For: Prologue: Me, Me, and Also Meeee
ACTUALLY, Eric IS a boy :P

he's just basically asleep when he gets to school...

Author's Response: Ah, that explains it. ^_^ (I was kidding around, don't you worry.) One time, my friend fell asleep in school and my teacher yelled a rude word for 'breasts' in his ear to wake him up. It worked.

Name: James Jameson (Signed) · Date: 07/26/08 12:00 · For: Chapter 2: The Neon Fires Of Niflheim
I remember the word "hanky-panky" from "Are You There God? It's Me Margaret" by Judy Blume. Its another one of my favourite words. You certainly have a knack for guessing them!

Author's Response: Hahaha, I only read one Judy Blume book and it scared the living daylights out of me. I was eight, It was called "Deenie," and I did NOT like the description of... private things. I got the word "hanky-panky" from an amazing book called "Blue Avenger" or "The Adventures of Blue Avenger" or something... and my mom also says it sometimes.

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