Reviewer: Gin_Drinka
Date: 04/26/08 9:30
Chapter: Chapter Two: Of Quidditch And A Certain Slytherin
So here I am again. I liked your story. I wanted to come back for more. :)
I actually didn't spot any nitpicks this time. Oh, only that I was expecting the Gryffindor team to get a foul for what that Ravenclaw Chaser did. But, you wrote the match very belivably either way.
I adored Scorpius' comment about "I'm nothing." Loved it.
And I have to say, this chapter was better than the first. In fact, it was really great! It had a better flow.
Can't wait to see what happens next. :)
Author's Response: I'm glad you like it so far, Mia. Thanks for all your lovely comments; I really appreciate it. :]
Reviewer: Gin_Drinka
Date: 04/25/08 22:40
Chapter: Chapter One: The Book That Changed Everything
Hey, Jenny! I'm finally reading this story of yours. YAY! Lol, anyway. Nitpicks first, comments after.
Rose made her way over to the mirror to brush her hair, watching her friends prepare for the day of head.
You've got 'day of head' written. I'm sure it's just a typo. :)
‘Don’t bother, Weasley, he countered, sounding bored.
Again, just another typo. You forgot to end the quotation after the comma after Weasley.
But she was sweet, even if she was a little over-exuberant.
This souns a tad paradoxical (sp?). You have 'a little' then over-exuberant. I'm not quite sure what way to correct it to. But I think that simply 'slightly exuberant' would sound a little more correct. I'm not sure on it though.
Okay, I've got to say, I love the family. How they're so together, annoy each other without hating each other. And the little comments here and there that really create the feel of teenage life.
I would suggest only that maybe you try to come out saying things less. Lol, that sounds odd. I just mean that instead of saying, "said so and so, who was sitting across from so and so", use "said so and so from across so and so".
It just creates more of a narrative tone. To the reader, it's like they're following the characters around on an ordinary day without being told what's happening. They're directly looking for the clues this way.
Sorry if that was confusing. I tend to not be clear enough when leaving constructive criticism. I need practice, I guess.
Well, I really liked it. Cliche or not, it's an irresistable story. :)
Author's Response: Wow, what an amazing review! Thanks so much, Mia. I'm glad you like the family; I really love to write them. :] I'll fix all the nitpicks, thanks for pointing them out. I get what you're saying about the narrative tone, and I'll try to work that in when I write next. Thanks again, sweetie! *hugs*
Reviewer: daffy
Date: 04/25/08 11:59
Chapter: Chapter Three: Hogsmeade Can Be More Interesting Than You’d Expect
oh dear lord!! this is such a sticky ending!! whole new defination to cliff hanger!! cant wait for more... the weasleys reactions especially.... if they dont keep their relationship under the wraps offcourse!!
Author's Response: Lol, it will be tricky, won't it? ;] Thanks for the review!
Reviewer: dobbylover
Date: 04/23/08 23:56
Chapter: Chapter Three: Hogsmeade Can Be More Interesting Than You’d Expect
YAY!! finally..i have been waiting for that moment when they'd really get together. well done!! ud soon!
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it, love. And I AM updating reasonably quickly ... I think the past two chapters were within a week of each other.
Reviewer: BookofSecrets
Date: 04/23/08 21:12
Chapter: Chapter One: The Book That Changed Everything
This is a great start...I'm definitely hooked! I think that using 'Pride and Prejudice' as the initial link between Rose and Scorpius is a sign of good things to come.
Author's Response: Thank you!
Reviewer: PheonixFlamesForever
Date: 04/19/08 8:58
Chapter: Chapter One: The Book That Changed Everything
'I was reciting the ingredients' Now Jen, on your bio you said you cannot write humour. I hasten to disagree, I found that little interaction very humourous and I laughed a lot.
Anyway, I think this is a very sweet story and the characters seem very real. I love that you have put in canon characters, those are the sort of things that excite me. And I love how Scorpius has his own opinions and hasn't been brain washed by his father.
I'm PMing and writing this, get me :p
-Elle xo
Author's Response: Elle! *hugs* You laughed at that? I actually thought it was amazingly lame, but I left it in there anyway. I'm so happy you liked this, honey. I read your PM, but I'm being lazy at the moment, so I'll reply tomorrow. I'm really tired at the moment. :]
Reviewer: x-sourcherry-x
Date: 04/19/08 7:52
Chapter: Chapter Two: Of Quidditch And A Certain Slytherin
OMG This is without a doubt the greatest Rose/Scorpius story I have read - SO FAR! Please can you do some more asap because this is just great entertainment!!!! :)
Author's Response: Thanks! That's certainly high praise. Lol. I will be submitting chapter three soon, so don't worry!
Reviewer: dobbylover
Date: 04/16/08 23:00
Chapter: Chapter One: The Book That Changed Everything
I really enjoyed this last chapter!
Rose is so cute...all flustered about it :)
Author's Response: Thanks! Rose is adorable, isn't she?
Reviewer: nargle_infested_wand
Date: 04/16/08 19:26
Chapter: Chapter One: The Book That Changed Everything
Oh dear ... this is just Ron's worst nightmare, isn't it? Really cute though!
Author's Response: Thank you, dear! Ron's worst nightmare indeed ... he's going to explode. :]
Reviewer: lullaby BANG
Date: 04/09/08 18:13
Chapter: Chapter One: The Book That Changed Everything
Aw, Jen, this is up! I really liked it.(: And your characterisation was good too. I also love how they're all on the Quidditch team; it fits so perfectly. I can't wait to see what happens.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Jess! I'm glad you like it. -grins-
Reviewer: Chalondra
Date: 04/09/08 15:45
Chapter: Chapter One: The Book That Changed Everything
I'm surprised, i like this a lot
keep going!
Author's Response: Thanks! I will keep going, don't worry!
Reviewer: bellatrix1983
Date: 04/09/08 5:45
Chapter: Chapter One: The Book That Changed Everything
loved this story, especially the all potter/weasley quidditch team.
cant wait to read more.
Author's Response: Thanks! I liked the idea of the Quidditch team too. :] It makes sense, seeing how they come from a Quidditch-playing family, and there's so many of them.
Reviewer: Spoony
Date: 04/09/08 0:41
Chapter: Chapter One: The Book That Changed Everything
this was good- looking forward to seeing where it goes- Like the cannon 2
Author's Response: Thanks!
Reviewer: dobbylover
Date: 04/09/08 0:29
Chapter: Chapter One: The Book That Changed Everything
I really think you've started out well. You gave Rose a really cute, sweet personality and you didn't make Malfoy and her have an overbearing relationship right away which I think many people do. ud soon!
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked my characterisation. I'll post the next chapter soon!
