Its a great start, I can't wait to read more
Awesome chapter!!!! His mom being an alcoholic was kind of a surprise to me but I liked it! Cant wait for the other chapters!!
Awesome...now it's readable. :) See you next chapter!
Ooh, I love the idea of a Weasley raid on Malfoy Manor! I can't wait to see that. :)
In these last couple of chapters, it's been really nice to really get to know the Malfoys as you've portrayed them. Of all the Astoria Malfoy's I've read, you're the only one that I've come across who shares my sentiments that she is nasty and vile. Everyone always portrays her as a sweet, docile creature, so I totally love that you didn't. Draco was...very Draco. I know that's not much of a description, but I do see him defending his wife over his son because of his views on the parent/child power hierarchy, even if he probably knows that Astoria is a mad bint and should be the one tossed.
I have an appreciation for the leap that Scorpius took, choosing love over family (if one could really call them that after what had happened). It proved that he was a good man, willing to fight for what he believed in, or rather whom he believed in. He also showed just how much he loved and trusted Rose, putting all of his money, which was his only lifeline away from home, and put it with the Weasley vault. It was yet another leap in the right direction, his rehabilitation as a recovering Malfoy, so to speak.
This part here say so much about how he truly feels about Rose, mostly in the fact that he says these things like second nature, not something that he just said to piss in mummy’s cornflakes.
‘That was one of the first things I told Rose, you know?’ he said, making Rose start at the sound of her name. ‘That you didn’t want me.’ Astoria murmured something, and Scorpius shot her a look of pure filth. ‘Don’t patronise me, Mother. I’m not stupid. You’ve never liked me, even when you’re drinking yourself into oblivion. Not only have you told me how I ruin your life on countless occasions, but when have you ever told me you loved me?’
‘Scorpius, this is ridiculous,’ Draco started, moving towards his son, who automatically stepped back
‘Let me finish. You know what? Rose listened to me when I told her this. She actually cared. And she still does, and that’s why I love her more than I will ever love you. So don’t you dare try to tell me that I can’t be with her, because if you try to make me choose, it will be her. Every time.’ .
This just speaks so much about Scorpius, but at the same time, he managed to convey to his parents just what he thought of blood status and of what they thought of his choices. Plus, it’s also another interesting foreshadowing of one of Scorpius’s dark secrets, which is having an abusive, violent, alcoholic mother.
I’m so glad you didn’t turn Draco into the alcoholic, because if we know anything about him, it’s that he’s not stupid. Alcoholism scarcely ever stays private, and he knew that he could never risk the public humiliation, on top of what he had already endured after the war, of his name being associated with yet another black mark.
Poor Rose…she was so lost when all of this was going on, but to be honest, Scorpius showed very Slytherin tendencies with his quick thinking, not to mention the practicality of procuring his inheritance before the Malfoys could cut him off from it. He thinks on his feet very well, which makes me like him more than I already do.
You made Ron and Hermione so believable and in-character with the way they reacted to a slightly injured and bedraggled Malfoy child on the doorstep. It was a very nice touch how Ron immediately warmed up to Scorpius once he learned that the boy had hexed Draco. I am still in awe that he didn’t actually put Scorpius in the office instead of a room…had that been my daughter, I probably would have.
Another part that I particularly admire is this:
‘Scorpius! Did you bring your broomstick?’ she asked, retrieving hers from her trunk and holding it up.
He looked at her, dread marking his features. ‘You’re kidding. How did I manage to forget that?’ he groaned, sitting on the edge of her bed and falling backwards so he was lying across it. ‘And it’s my broomstick. I can’t buy a new one. I can’t.’
Rose knew exactly what he meant – she was far too attached to hers to want a new one. Even though there were better, faster models on the market now, her Firebolt 260 had served her well and she knew it inside out. ‘We could go back?’
There are two large reasons that I adore this passage. First off, I’m a hockey player, and what we’re attached to the most are our skates. It takes so long to break them in, to get used to them, but after that time has passed, they become another part of you as a player. I really think that a broomstick would be much the same for a Quidditch player. This makes the last line in that part so less insane than it may sound to a non-athlete, or at least someone who has never been attached to a piece of athletic equipment before.
The second thing that I love is that last line. Rose suggesting – I believe in earnest – that she would willingly go back to the House of Horrors for a broomstick just goes to show that she really cares about him deeply, even down to the little things that make him happy (though the broom really isn’t a little thing). This right here is what will make the madness that I’m sure will ensue in successive chapters sooooooo great, because a Weasley that will do anything is a fascinating Weasley indeed.
Anna’s reaction to Scorpius was precious. It just seemed like she was relieved that she could finally like him without feeling guilty about it. She also puts off great friend vibes by pretending that she’s actually more interested in her shoes than in the insanity that had taken place at Malfoy Manor.
All in all, I’m so excited for the next installment, to see what sort of madhattery the Weasley offspring have in store for those hapless Malfoys. They’ll never know what hit them.
Take care and happy writing, and I hope to see another update soon. :-D
P.S. – I have no earthly idea what has happened with the formatting on this, but the whole chapter is one gigantic paragraph, with no spaces between sentences and paragraphs at all. There are also several wonky bits where the page seems to have eaten your dashes and replaced them with ‘w22:’. I picked them out and put them below for you. Perhaps the server is being a prat, or maybe it’s a formatting issue (do you use Tiny MCE?). Might want to look into it, because reading a whole chapter without paragraph separation is sort of a headache. :-
‘That bloody gitw22;’ Ron started, but Hermione gave him one of her looks and he fell silent.
‘She told me she never wanted to see me again as long as I lived, and that I might as well be a Mudblw22; Muggle-born, for all she cared.’
‘That’s extremely kind of you, Mrs. Weasley, but I do have some money and I canw22; '
Ron fell silent, thinking for a moment. ‘Put him in the office?’ he said. ‘We could move all the office stuff upstairs andw22; and
‘Oh, Scorw22;’ Rose reached her hand out to him, but he shook his head
Oh, and Apurva is an absolute star, isn't she? :)
Author's Response: Oh, wow. Even though I've been in SPEW for so long, when I get reviews like this I still do a little squee. :) Just ... thank you so much! These reviews are what make me sit down and keep writing, seriously. I'm so relieved you like my characterisation, because I started this story so long ago and sometimes I think that I've made Rose and Scorpius grow up way too quickly (they tend to change along with me, haha). Also, I'd never make Draco an alcoholic, purely for the reasons you stated. And it's odd - in my fics about Scorpius I make Astoria a total b*tch, but when I write Draco/Daphne I always make her really sweet. I don't know why. x.x I'm so sorry about the screwy formatting! I didn't double-check like I usually do, but it looked alright in the preview screen. I format everything myself, and I'm pretty sure it's MNFF acting up. Sometimes that just happens, I think especially if I press preview twice. Which is weird. Anyway, thanks again for an absolutely lovely review! And you've reminded me that I have to reply to a PM ... >.>
I'll leave a non-spammy review for the next chapter, but there are some wonky formatting bits in this one that you probably would like to fix.
I could have dealt with that, maybe, if she wasn’t a Weasley, or if she wasn’t such a pathetic, insolent girl whow22;’
Rose didn’t think she had realised the seriousness of the situation before he said that. ‘Isn’t that a bit drastic, Scor? They surely wouldn’t do thatw22;’
See you next chapter. Very lovely so far. :)
No this can't be the last posted chapter.
the wait will kill me it will. I'm really sorry i haven't replied to all of the chapters. I should tell you that this story is very fun to read. While I do think that Rose and Scorpius might be a bit young to talk about beign this in love I've seen how it can be so it is belivable. Also I like the way you portray familey tensions. It is belivable. In fact while at times it seems over done it really isn't i think you manage to capture the ungly truths about some of the characters that we really like *coughRoncough* and it's important to be able to do that. I like the chemestry amongst all of the characters, and how Rose's familey seemes to have well defined characters even if we tend to see tehm as a bunch. It would be nice to hear more about Anna and Albus, as well as some of Scorpius' friends. Over all I really like the story, I like how things aren't overly complicated to the state of impossibility but it also isn't overly simple for them. Keep up the good work, And for the love of merlin update soon. I might go crazy if you don't
you have left me speachless, so happy about the last chapter and tehn this. Astoria is a bitch, I expected better rom Draco somehow. Must keep reading now
such a wonderful chapter. i love the chemestrybetween Scorpius and Rose. Where they are still able to see eachothers flaws but they are realyl in love with eachother. He is such a charmer. I can't wait to see how the wedding goes. And ten she meets his parents. Canyou picture Draco chatting with Rose. Well clearly you can but I'm just going to have to wait and see what you come up with.
Oh my gosh! This chapter was so good! But poor Scorpious. :( No, but really, this chapter was excellent and I loved everything about it! Can't wait for the next one!
Alright Sorry I didn't review for the earlier chaperts but you had me hooked. I read eight of them in a row, and i htink my h.w got neglected cause of it. But no matter becasue your story has made me very happy. I like the way you portray the characters. They are belivable and funny. it's an intersting twist while still the comforting of the known. Nicley done. I can't wait to read the rest.
OMG is all i have to say!!!! I love this chapter!!!! It is intense and I cant wait until the next one!! I think that they will stay at her house once they get all of Scorpius' stuff situated!! I just hope that Astoria doesn't do anything stupid!!!! Once again I love this chapter and your story, it is brilliant!!!
Great chapter! I just love the Malfoy family shenanigans!
OMG...that was so amazing!!! I cannot wait to find out what happens next!
Oh goodness....but I knew the Malfoy's were very unhappy with the choice young Scorpius had made. I'm glad he and Rose left...and I think it's fabulous that Rose thought to put the money in her family vault. Now, they are off to the Weasley abode to explain what happened and to find out if Scorpius can live with them, of course!!!! **anxiously awaiting the next chappie**
I loved the last chapter. I reckon that they all go to the Burrow. I also don't think Draco is really bothered - he seemed to kind of defend Rose in Chapter 13 and not really involved in the argument...
I thought that was great! I love how intriguing the plot is and how accurate the story line is. It makes it feel like Harry Potter never ended :). Can't wait for the next chapter...
Just wanted to say that your style is really really good.
I really like the idea of a large Potter/Weasley clan and I think you have done a great job describing them, all of them are interesting however small a role they play in this. I also like the idea of Draco being more humble in a way than in his childhood, nice development.
I have greatly enjoyed reading this story (I have actually read it twice in the same day, just couldn’t put it down) and can’t wait for the next chapters to come online. I hope you keep it up.
Wow. This is such a great chapter. ;) I loved everything about it. Can't wait for another update, keep up the good work :)
I hadn't expected Draco to be the more accepting Malfoy and Astoria the bigoted one, because for the most part, that's how they're portrayed in most Rose/Scorpius pieces, but I knew Draco had it in him to appreciate the fact that he'd be dead if it wasn't for the Trio and pass the good karma to their offspring.
I was so expecting them to get caught at the last minute, but I'm glad they didn't. It's fortunate that they didn't let the hostile mood in the house ruin the completely different mood between them.
Thank you for the update, and no worries about reality interfering. It happens, but it makes it doubly sweet when one can escape into the Potterverse and leave it all behind for a few moments.
I think it's great that Rose is sharing the news about her and Scorpius with Anna and Albus. It's uncomfortable but it'll be better when they don't have to sneak around. I hate thinking of the stress she's under having to tell the rest of the family her news. You know that isn't going to go over well at all. Great chapter.