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I'm speechless. This is amazing! I actually like that it is in second person point-of-view.
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it! : )
Oh, this story is very touching. I think you’ve done an excellent job of capturing Ron’s character –that fine balance between remorse and attempts at justification for what he has done is just perfect for him.
I always think that a second person point of view is interesting to read, and I’ve found that it works differently for different characters. I recently read one of Rowena Ravenclaw, and in that story I really got the feeling that she was addressing herself, so to speak. Here, it sounds more like an external voice speaking to Ron, which I think is because of how I picture him as a character. Don’t get me wrong, it works well and it’s beautifully written, but I think it’s interesting how second person point of views can be so different.
I like your language a lot; it’s varied and intelligent, and the mostly short sentences in this story really suit Ron. I didn’t catch a single spelling or grammar error, so thumbs up for that – whether to you or your beta or both. ;)
As I read your story, I feel that you’ve nailed down all the important aspects of Ron – his friendship with Harry, his love for Hermione, the jealousy and concern, the thoughts about his family, the importance of being brave, the stubbornness and, in the end, the willingness to do the right thing.
There are some very strong pictures in your story, of the weather and of Ron’s mental visions of Harry and Hermione, both laughing at him and being intimate, as well as suffering and being dead. You’ve written this very well; as a reader, I really feel for Ron.
This is a well-chosen missing moment for a fic, and I feel that I can more easily appreciate it because I know that all will eventually end happily. Thank you for a lovely read!
Author's Response: And thank you for a lovely review! This story was definitely an experiment for me, as I'd never written in second person POV before, so I'm interested in hearing how people respond to the effect. I'm also glad to hear that you couldn't spot any grammar or spelling errors, I was really hoping none had snuck in! Thank you again for such a thoughtful and interesting review. : )
Writing a story about how Ron was feeling in Shell Cottage is an interesting concept and I liked the second person point of view. I also enjoyed how the weather reflected Ron's mood.
Author's Response: Thanks, that's what I was going for! : )
*sniff* good story!
Author's Response: thanks! : )
Author's Response: thank you! : )