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Name: Iva1201 (Signed) · Date: 11/24/09 13:47 · For: Chapter 12- Yet Another Thing to Hide
I am impressed - wonderful story, really. (-: I would have surely noticed it sooner, but I mostly read fics only at fanfiction.net, so it escaped my attention previously. But I am VERY happy to have found it here. (-: I checked and you don't seem to have account at fanfiction but if you ever decide to publish there, this piece goes immediately to Severus Snape archive we have there. (-:

I have to say that I really like Prof. Llewellyn and Mary MacDonald in this - and yes, one only wishes that Severus would impress "his girl" with his actions. I only fear that she is by now blinded by her golden Potter. ))))-:

Author's Response: Thanks very much for the invitation, and I'm glad you like it. :) Prof. Llewellyn and Mary are my two favorite OC's to write, obviously, which is why they show up so much. Lily is an interesting one to try to figure out, though-- I have another chapter from her POV coming up. Thanks for reading and reviewing-- I'm not updating as frequently as I'd like, but there will be another chapter soon.

Name: Charles Sinclair (Signed) · Date: 11/16/09 23:13 · For: Chapter 12- Yet Another Thing to Hide
Thank you for continuing with this. You can write, and what you have to say is interesting. Your manner of expression enhances the scope of the HP related world rather then diminishing it to plot driven events. I suppose the million dollar question now is whether you can engage the emotions in characters and a plot that readers aren't familiar with. Part of what is emotionally satisfying in this story is the atonement like sense of experiencing a reprieve for anothers' suffering. Though there are variety of interesting puzzles in getting a catharsis on behalf of a fictional character!

Llewllyn continues to be his wonderfully enigmatic self. Reminds me of Dumbledore. He's certainly one tainted, though whether this is more from suffering or evil is unclear. May it long remain thus.

p.s. Carrying on a earlier thread by ...to my mind, 'Triping the light fantastic' does make sense put in reference to the great ball. I can't understand what action beyond dancing a person could draw out of this. Tobias Snape's bookshelf, described as a tattered collection of cheap paperback classics or suchlike furthermore puts Severus in position to access to this kind of a literary work. Whether he would is a moot point, on which I oscillate. On the one hand, he faces a dire shortage of activities and a abundance in hours. On the other, it may be going a bit far to portray even an intelligent teenager brooding over some great works of poetry. Why not give him a goblet of wine, rename him Bryon and be done with it all?

Author's Response: Thank you, as always, for your thoughtful reviews-- I think it's fairly safe to say that Severus Snape is the most complex character in the HP universe, and I'm trying to craft a different fate for him while still doing justice to that complexity. And I believe that Lily, if she could have been his friend all those years and if JKR isn't talking a load of nonsense when she says that Lily could have fallen in love with Severus if he hadn't pursued the Dark Arts and become a Death Eater, can't be as one-dimensional as she (unfortunately) sometimes seems (even, at times, in the canon). Good point about tripping the light fantastic-- you know, I've heard it bandied about so much that I think he could have picked it up from a somewhat classically educated parent or Muggle novels of a certain era or even just TV announcers trying to be clever. :)

Name: galrandielNayalo (Signed) · Date: 10/29/09 16:46 · For: Chapter 1- The End of the World
really interesting chapter.
usually I don't read much romance fanfics, especially severus-lily ones, but this one keeps me reading. funny, captivating, and well written. I'll wait for your next chapter ^_^
oh, and I really like the way your portray snape.

Author's Response: Thanks so much-- I'm glad you like it even though the genre isn't your favorite. :) If it gets approved, the next chapter should be up some time soon. Real life definitely intervenes.

Name: chikako (Signed) · Date: 10/18/09 12:35 · For: Chapter 9- An Impossible Position
waaah! i really really would love to read snape's POV of this game!!!!

Author's Response: Sorry-- it was hard enough to write Lily's! :) That chapter took me forever because I find it REALLY hard to write Quidditch!!! :)

Name: chikako (Signed) · Date: 10/16/09 20:13 · For: Chapter 12- Yet Another Thing to Hide
omg omg omg this is a awesome fic!!! ^__^ i love snape and how he changes so much for the better and makes more friends because lily left him instead of just wallowing in self pity or getting pissed and joining the DE. really like Llewellyn ^_____^ haha...the way things are going, i'm hoping snape doesn't end up together with lily. not liking her much now *chirps*

anyway, update soon!!! *hoping this isn't abandoned or something*

Author's Response: Thanks again. :)

Name: chikako (Signed) · Date: 10/16/09 20:13 · For: Chapter 12- Yet Another Thing to Hide
omg omg omg this is a awesome fic!!! ^__^ i love snape and how he changes so much for the better and makes more friends because lily left him instead of just wallowing in self pity or getting pissed and joining the DE. really like Llewellyn ^_____^ haha...the way things are going, i'm hoping snape doesn't end up together with lily. not liking her much now *chirps*

anyway, update soon!!! *hoping this isn't abandoned or something*

Author's Response: Nah, not abandoned-- just taking me a long time to write it! :) There will be another chapter soon, I promise. I wrote this wondering what would have happened if he had decided to pursue Lily's friendship/ love more directly rather than trying to impress her as a proto Death Eater, and to see whether I could really see the two of them ending up together, as JKR said they could have if he had taken a different path. I wrote a cute little romantic fluffy one-shot about the two of them as a young married couple ("The Knick Knack"-- it's also on MNFF, the only other thing I have written yet) and then found myself wondering whether, and how, they would actually get to that point, if at all. Sorry it's taking so long!

Name: Minerva67 (Signed) · Date: 10/16/09 16:29 · For: Chapter 12- Yet Another Thing to Hide
Another great chapter! I can't wait to read the next one, but also want you to continue taking your time between posts to get them right.
I think that McGonagall had figured out who "Geoff" really is when he slipped briefly out of charcter. She is a very sharp lady with years of teaching experience who has seen all of students" tricks. Her transfiguration class was the target of the first junior Deatheater's prank; during the Quiddich match she saw the Slytherin attemps to blast Severus out of the sky, and she would certainly notice that Severus haddn't hung around with the Slytherin crowd since the start of the school year . Teachers do discuss their students in the faculty lounge, but Minerva is one who keeps her own counsel, as has been previously pointed out. Again, you always surprise me.

Author's Response: I agree-- I think McGonagall would be smart enough to figure that out, and, quite honestly, that he could have just gone to her and told her his theory as himself, minus the Polyjuice, without worrying about being revealed. But given the circumstances, he's allowed to be neurotic about being found out-- and to have some fun experimenting with Polyjuice Potion, which I take it that few are smart enough to manage. Sorry for the delay-- I have another chapter just posted (waiting for approval) and chapters 14 and 15 ready to send off to my betas for their points of view. Thanks for your patience-- I've been writing this for a long time now. :)

Name: jkjim (Signed) · Date: 10/15/09 23:19 · For: Chapter 12- Yet Another Thing to Hide
Interesting update. Llewllyn sort of reminds me of Lupin in book 3. I also like how you portray the distrust between Snape and Dumbles. Considering that the guy gave Black a slap on the wrist for almost feeding him to a werewolf, its very believable, and in a timeline where he never becomes a death eater, I don't see him joining the order. BTW, the Dear Leader commands you to update more frequently.

Author's Response: Llewellyn is kind of like Lupin-- and kind of not. :) But he's definitely a mentor figure, and there's more to him than meets the eye, obviously. I can't imagine Severus trusting Dumbledore after what nearly happened to him with Lupin and how lightly Dumbledore obviously took it-- I also see Dumbledore as having some serious favoritism going on (both in the past and in Harry's time-- I mean, how did James manage to become Head Boy without having even been chosen as a prefect?) Even the way Dumbledore treats him as a 38-year-old or a 21-year-old in the canon-- I remember teachers who liked the attractive, self-confident, popular types more than the others, and unfortunately, Dumbledore seems to be that sort of professor to some degree. And sorry it has taken me so long to update! Chapters 14 and 15 are almost done and will shortly be sent off to my lovely betas. :) Thanks so much for the review.

Name: Sariana (Signed) · Date: 10/14/09 23:13 · For: Chapter 1- The End of the World
I was rereading some earlier reviews, and I have to comment on your reply to NoxSommnium.

"Tripping the light fantastic" may be an archaic phrase, but I think it is absolutely logical that Severus would be familiar with Milton, if not with colloquialisms. I think _Paradise Lost_ would actually be one of Severus's favorites. Its themes of light and dark, sin and redemption, and the power of true love would serve as his toehold on sanity.

Okay, I'm operating on 5 hours of sleep over the last 3 days. I'll stop now.

Author's Response: I have a later chapter that is tentatively titled "His Bad Eminence," so yes, I completely agree with you about Paradise Lost. :) I do think that the phrase is common enough (or was, before TV and radio got dumbed down so much, I guess) in popular culture that he could have picked it up there, too (I picture his dad as sitting around in front of the TV a lot), or, as you say, from reading. I gather from all the books he has at Spinner's End that we're supposed to take it that he's an avid reader. (He's also a fairly obvious spin on Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights, but that's another theory-- there's a laundry list of things they have in common, as well as a list of all the ways in which he's more complicated and less of a jerk. But I digress.) :)

Name: Sariana (Signed) · Date: 10/14/09 23:05 · For: Chapter 12- Yet Another Thing to Hide
Man, I just cannot shake the feeling that Llewellyn is not who he appears to be. No, no, I don't mean Polyjuice, only that he must be more sinister than Severus believes. I hope I'm wrong, though. I like Llewellyn.

There were some scenes way back when (like chapter 2 or something) with someone in a bar, asking Severus about his father. I have always thought there was something significant about that exchange.

Anyway, I'm rambling. This is another great chapter. It really shows the development of Severus's wily nature (not the word I wanted, but I'm too tired). He totally overanalyzes the situation before coming to a decision, but in his case it is absolutely necessary.

I like that he chose to speak to McGonagall. In the series, Severus always seems to respect her, even while he competes against her. It still really bothers me that she, of all the characters, did not realize what was going on with Severus and Dumbledore. See, in my mind, she did, and her actions in DH show her utmost adherence to discretion. She was not against Severus but had to convince everyone else that she was. Just as Severus here in your story has to live in the shadows in order to preserve his own and others' skin.

Author's Response: I always enjoy your reviews-- thanks so much. :) I agree about McGonagall-- they have their competition going, of course, but they seem to have an understanding, and definitely mutual respect. I have a half-written story that's sort of a missing moment from the canon HP series about her wondering about his motivations-- one of these years. As for Llewellyn, he's interesting to write. I don't think Severus would get along well with anyone who is 100% sunshine. I'll have a new chapter soon, I hope-- I just posted one, anyway-- and thanks for reading and reviewing even though this is taking me forever.

Name: the-wizardess (Signed) · Date: 10/14/09 19:51 · For: Chapter 12- Yet Another Thing to Hide
I'll second the reviewer a little bit below me--I'm definitely not a fan of JP/LE. I am, however, a big fan of this story! :)

Author's Response: Glad you like it, and sorry it's taking so long! It must be bleeding obvious by now that I am no fan of JP/LE myself. :)

Name: Sariana (Signed) · Date: 09/14/09 15:05 · For: Chapter 11- Ever So Slightly Merry
Good chapter. Can't write more right now, but I'm always happy to see updates.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm working on the next one. :)

Name: jkjim (Signed) · Date: 09/13/09 19:13 · For: Chapter 11- Ever So Slightly Merry
I recently discovered this story, and if your updates are as intermittent as you claim, I will have to track you down, chain you to a desk, and force you to type until you finish, its that good. My own personal opinion about the SSLE pairing isn't so much that I like it, but in light of the DH canon, I absolutely despise JPLE. Basically, Rowling created a storyline where Potter tortured the guy for years, and Lily let him take a victory ride when it was all over. I find that absolutely repugnant. I also don't buy the argument that he "matured." I consider anyone who would take such joy in the torment of others to be irredeemably morally depraved, and the difference between Potter, and someone like Bellatrix Lestrange is only a matter of degrees. I do like your version of Mary MacDonald a lot, and also like your depiction of Lily as being anything but innocent in regards to the falling out. I do tend to feel she is more to blame, because she didn't give him any type of warning that she would sever ties with him if he didn't change his ways. I also feel that she was somewhat naive in understanding his situation in Slytherin. Ie. he has to stay on good terms with those people, because they can do nasty things to him when he sleeps.

Author's Response: Hello-- I am so glad you like it, because technically this is my first fic, although after this many chapters, it's starting to feel like I know what I'm doing. :) I completely agree with you about JP/LE-- I just don't get the appeal there. Obviously everyone grows up to some degree, but James dies about three years out of Hogwarts, and it's hard to believe that he turned from a swaggering bully to a reformed character in such a short amount of time, never mind in the one year between 6th form and 7th. This might be a surprise, but I also agree with you about SS/LE-- when I started this story, the hardest part was to figure out what it would take for me to like the two of them together, how they would have to change for me to buy them as a couple. I mean, JKR said that they could have wound up together if SS hadn't been so into the Dark Arts-- but when you look at how they behave, with each other and with other people, it's not the making of a happy relationship. And I mean both of them-- not just him. I'm glad you like the character of Mary-- I really enjoy writing her, and Davis Llewellyn, and their growing relationships with Severus. It's interesting to think of what a friendship would look like for him, since all we see in the canon is the hatred between himself and the Marauders, several decades of obsessive, guilt-ridden, unrequited love, and a pretty twisted mentorship by Dumbledore.

Name: the-wizardess (Signed) · Date: 09/02/09 10:41 · For: Chapter 11- Ever So Slightly Merry
Oh, an update! *dances* I'm so happy! Severus and his complexity, ahh. :) And I hope he's able to think up something to help save the two students. :-s

Author's Response: The complexity is what makes him such a great character to write (and read-- sometimes it seems to me like 90% of the really amazing stories on MNFF are about this one person.) :) Thanks for reading it-- I'm working on another chapter right now.

Name: NoxSomnium (Signed) · Date: 09/01/09 23:23 · For: Chapter 11- Ever So Slightly Merry
Update Happiness! One question. Early on when talking about the dance you had the line, "since apparently ability to trip the light fantastic was included in the mysterious selection process." Which doesn't make any sense. My roomie and I pondered it for a bit, but we couldn't figure out precisely what you meant. :) I love this story!

Author's Response: I probably should have deleted that, when one of my betas didn't get it (the other one did-- or at least, she didn't ask me about it). It's an old-school phrase that means "to dance well," the history of which you can actually find on Wikipedia. :) I think it was quite popular among my parents' or grandparents' generation, but I'm sure it's long since out of style-- it originally came from a Milton poem, and then was shortened down to a slang phrase that made its way into popular culture. Anyway, I'm glad you like the fic, and thanks for always coming back and reading it and reviewing it again. :)

Name: run-lola-run (Signed) · Date: 07/22/09 15:56 · For: Chapter 10- Quite Contrary
I have loved reading this fic!! Please continue!! I need to know what happens next!

Snape was wonderfully in character throughout which I know is difficult to maintain, and I always love it when Mary is brought forward as we share a first name :)


Author's Response: Thanks so much-- I just sent my two wonderful betas the eleventh chapter, so I'm hoping to submit it soon and finally get on with writing it. And the twelfth chapter is well under way. Sometimes real life gets in the way and it takes me a long time to update, but I have a plan for this, so I'll keep writing it. Glad you like Mary-- she is a really enjoyable OC to write. I've been trying to write her as someone who would be feisty enough to stand up to Severus and sharp and unconventional enough to get along with him, but a reasonable friend for Lily also. Anyway, I'll have more on this soon, and I'm glad you're enjoying it. :) Anya

Name: kazloopy (Signed) · Date: 06/13/09 10:34 · For: Chapter 10- Quite Contrary
I really love this series. Please post the next one soon!!

Author's Response: I'm working on it! :) Sorry it's taking so long-- I'm kind of working on several chapters at once. Hopefully I'll have some more work done on it before long. Glad you're enjoying it! :)

Name: sarcasticval (Signed) · Date: 05/22/09 18:06 · For: Chapter 10- Quite Contrary
How do I love this story? Let me count the ways.

"First of all, they’re mostly Muggles..."
I think this is quite possibly one of my favorite lines/pop culture references in the entire piece, and I'm willing to bet anyone anyone that the wizard in the Stone's lineup is undoubtedly Keith Richards.

I adore the burgeoning friendship between Severus and Mary. I don't ship them, not yet, but I'm so pleased that he actually has someone in his life to give a damn. Her question in the previous chapter about whether he even had any friends broke my heart in the best way possible, and this chapter's gesture with the candy was adorable. Not to mention the banter and entire bet sequence. I'm eager to see her reactions when (if?) she learns of his own muggle background. Also, I've mentioned before how much I love the fact that you work in the 70's pop culture references, and that Severus is aware of them. As a halfblood who, as far as we know, was raised muggle he would be just as immersed in that world as a muggle born, and I enjoy that you go there. One wonders if the Marauders would ever pick up on the fact that the Slytherin was spouting off very non-pureblood-oriented slang, but I suppose that requires brainpower beyond Sirius's current mental facilities.

Also, your entire discussion on music now has me wondering what exactly Snape does choose to listen to. Curious and curiouser.

One other thing that I like about this fic are the flaws that you instill in your main characters. Lily isn't some perfect angel, and Snape isn't a poor misunderstood boy (well, not entirely). The flashback library bit was nice because it gave more credence to Lily's complaints about Severus, and really helps build up to the mudblood incident as a final straw, rather than Lily just arbitrarily deciding to end the relationship. There's a history there, and Lily, for her flaws, didn't just abandon Snape over a single mistake.

Author's Response: Hi Val-- good to hear from you again, and sorry it has taken me so long to reply (and to post another chapter.) So busy. Anyway, on to your review-- yay, someone picked up on the Rolling Stones comment. :) And yes, you're correct in your supposition. As for the pop culture references-- I know Lily would be clued in to them, and I think Severus would be despite himself. Of course, he'd have a more conflicted and pompous relationship to things like, say, ABBA. ;) And I'm glad you like Mary-- I was trying to come up with an OC whom Lily would reasonably be friends with but who would get along with Severus-- easier said than done. That said, she's fun and interesting to write-- and he deserves a decent friend besides Lily. Finally, the library scene-- I could so easily see Severus and Lily having a fight like that in their past. If they actually ever do get together, it would be despite having a significant amount of baggage, I think. Anyway, thanks as always for the review! I'm really trying to finish the 11th chapter-- hopefully soon.

Name: Minerva67 (Signed) · Date: 05/20/09 17:07 · For: Chapter 10- Quite Contrary
Glad to se that you have posted new chapters. it 9s really getting good, This is my favorite Severus story oo the fan fics. Of course Voldemort is a Wagner fan. (chuckle) The Death Eaters are so Nazi. I have been trying to anticipate how this fic will work out. Obviously, if Lily ends up with Severus instead of James, there will be no Harry Potter----so who destroys Voldemort? If Severus realizes that Mary is really the girl for him, would he join the Death Eaters and later become a double agent? Many possibilitis of dark endings here. So fascinating, Severus trying to learn to banter with Mary and learn the social skills that he has obviously never had a chance to observe during his life up to now. I wonder how Severus will be able to keep this up without getting killed by his Slytherin housemates before the year is out.

Author's Response: Believe me, I get sidetracked by all these possibilities when I'm writing it-- JKR really has created a character with so many twists and turns. :) I'm glad you're enjoying the story so much-- and sorry it has taken me so long to reply (and to post another chapter). Real life has been pretty busy lately. I'm working on ch. 11 and should have it up before long. Thank you for the review!!!

Name: NoxSomnium (Signed) · Date: 05/18/09 20:43 · For: Chapter 10- Quite Contrary
YAY steps forward! That's so exciting! (no the excitement won't go away if there's lots more angst. I like stories that are really angsty with ultimately happy endings.) Keep up the good work.

Author's Response: I think he'd be badly out-of-character if there wasn't a healthy dollop of angst, so I'm glad you like it. :) Thanks so much for reading it time after time, and for the reviews! :)

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