Reviewer: chikako
Date: 10/16/09 20:13
Chapter: Chapter 12- Yet Another Thing to Hide

omg omg omg this is a awesome fic!!! ^__^ i love snape and how he changes so much for the better and makes more friends because lily left him instead of just wallowing in self pity or getting pissed and joining the DE. really like Llewellyn ^_____^ haha...the way things are going, i'm hoping snape doesn't end up together with lily. not liking her much now *chirps*

anyway, update soon!!! *hoping this isn't abandoned or something*

Author's Response: Nah, not abandoned-- just taking me a long time to write it! :) There will be another chapter soon, I promise. I wrote this wondering what would have happened if he had decided to pursue Lily's friendship/ love more directly rather than trying to impress her as a proto Death Eater, and to see whether I could really see the two of them ending up together, as JKR said they could have if he had taken a different path. I wrote a cute little romantic fluffy one-shot about the two of them as a young married couple ("The Knick Knack"-- it's also on MNFF, the only other thing I have written yet) and then found myself wondering whether, and how, they would actually get to that point, if at all. Sorry it's taking so long!

Reviewer: Minerva67
Date: 10/16/09 16:29
Chapter: Chapter 12- Yet Another Thing to Hide

Another great chapter! I can't wait to read the next one, but also want you to continue taking your time between posts to get them right.
I think that McGonagall had figured out who "Geoff" really is when he slipped briefly out of charcter. She is a very sharp lady with years of teaching experience who has seen all of students" tricks. Her transfiguration class was the target of the first junior Deatheater's prank; during the Quiddich match she saw the Slytherin attemps to blast Severus out of the sky, and she would certainly notice that Severus haddn't hung around with the Slytherin crowd since the start of the school year . Teachers do discuss their students in the faculty lounge, but Minerva is one who keeps her own counsel, as has been previously pointed out. Again, you always surprise me.

Author's Response: I agree-- I think McGonagall would be smart enough to figure that out, and, quite honestly, that he could have just gone to her and told her his theory as himself, minus the Polyjuice, without worrying about being revealed. But given the circumstances, he's allowed to be neurotic about being found out-- and to have some fun experimenting with Polyjuice Potion, which I take it that few are smart enough to manage. Sorry for the delay-- I have another chapter just posted (waiting for approval) and chapters 14 and 15 ready to send off to my betas for their points of view. Thanks for your patience-- I've been writing this for a long time now. :)

Reviewer: jkjim
Date: 10/15/09 23:19
Chapter: Chapter 12- Yet Another Thing to Hide

Interesting update. Llewllyn sort of reminds me of Lupin in book 3. I also like how you portray the distrust between Snape and Dumbles. Considering that the guy gave Black a slap on the wrist for almost feeding him to a werewolf, its very believable, and in a timeline where he never becomes a death eater, I don't see him joining the order. BTW, the Dear Leader commands you to update more frequently.

Author's Response: Llewellyn is kind of like Lupin-- and kind of not. :) But he's definitely a mentor figure, and there's more to him than meets the eye, obviously. I can't imagine Severus trusting Dumbledore after what nearly happened to him with Lupin and how lightly Dumbledore obviously took it-- I also see Dumbledore as having some serious favoritism going on (both in the past and in Harry's time-- I mean, how did James manage to become Head Boy without having even been chosen as a prefect?) Even the way Dumbledore treats him as a 38-year-old or a 21-year-old in the canon-- I remember teachers who liked the attractive, self-confident, popular types more than the others, and unfortunately, Dumbledore seems to be that sort of professor to some degree. And sorry it has taken me so long to update! Chapters 14 and 15 are almost done and will shortly be sent off to my lovely betas. :) Thanks so much for the review.

Reviewer: Sariana
Date: 10/14/09 23:13
Chapter: Chapter 1- The End of the World

I was rereading some earlier reviews, and I have to comment on your reply to NoxSommnium.

"Tripping the light fantastic" may be an archaic phrase, but I think it is absolutely logical that Severus would be familiar with Milton, if not with colloquialisms. I think _Paradise Lost_ would actually be one of Severus's favorites. Its themes of light and dark, sin and redemption, and the power of true love would serve as his toehold on sanity.

Okay, I'm operating on 5 hours of sleep over the last 3 days. I'll stop now.

Author's Response: I have a later chapter that is tentatively titled "His Bad Eminence," so yes, I completely agree with you about Paradise Lost. :) I do think that the phrase is common enough (or was, before TV and radio got dumbed down so much, I guess) in popular culture that he could have picked it up there, too (I picture his dad as sitting around in front of the TV a lot), or, as you say, from reading. I gather from all the books he has at Spinner's End that we're supposed to take it that he's an avid reader. (He's also a fairly obvious spin on Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights, but that's another theory-- there's a laundry list of things they have in common, as well as a list of all the ways in which he's more complicated and less of a jerk. But I digress.) :)

Reviewer: Sariana
Date: 10/14/09 23:05
Chapter: Chapter 12- Yet Another Thing to Hide

Man, I just cannot shake the feeling that Llewellyn is not who he appears to be. No, no, I don't mean Polyjuice, only that he must be more sinister than Severus believes. I hope I'm wrong, though. I like Llewellyn.

There were some scenes way back when (like chapter 2 or something) with someone in a bar, asking Severus about his father. I have always thought there was something significant about that exchange.

Anyway, I'm rambling. This is another great chapter. It really shows the development of Severus's wily nature (not the word I wanted, but I'm too tired). He totally overanalyzes the situation before coming to a decision, but in his case it is absolutely necessary.

I like that he chose to speak to McGonagall. In the series, Severus always seems to respect her, even while he competes against her. It still really bothers me that she, of all the characters, did not realize what was going on with Severus and Dumbledore. See, in my mind, she did, and her actions in DH show her utmost adherence to discretion. She was not against Severus but had to convince everyone else that she was. Just as Severus here in your story has to live in the shadows in order to preserve his own and others' skin.

Author's Response: I always enjoy your reviews-- thanks so much. :) I agree about McGonagall-- they have their competition going, of course, but they seem to have an understanding, and definitely mutual respect. I have a half-written story that's sort of a missing moment from the canon HP series about her wondering about his motivations-- one of these years. As for Llewellyn, he's interesting to write. I don't think Severus would get along well with anyone who is 100% sunshine. I'll have a new chapter soon, I hope-- I just posted one, anyway-- and thanks for reading and reviewing even though this is taking me forever.

Reviewer: the-wizardess
Date: 10/14/09 19:51
Chapter: Chapter 12- Yet Another Thing to Hide

I'll second the reviewer a little bit below me--I'm definitely not a fan of JP/LE. I am, however, a big fan of this story! :)

Author's Response: Glad you like it, and sorry it's taking so long! It must be bleeding obvious by now that I am no fan of JP/LE myself. :)

Reviewer: Sariana
Date: 09/14/09 15:05
Chapter: Chapter 11- Ever So Slightly Merry

Good chapter. Can't write more right now, but I'm always happy to see updates.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm working on the next one. :)

Reviewer: jkjim
Date: 09/13/09 19:13
Chapter: Chapter 11- Ever So Slightly Merry

I recently discovered this story, and if your updates are as intermittent as you claim, I will have to track you down, chain you to a desk, and force you to type until you finish, its that good. My own personal opinion about the SSLE pairing isn't so much that I like it, but in light of the DH canon, I absolutely despise JPLE. Basically, Rowling created a storyline where Potter tortured the guy for years, and Lily let him take a victory ride when it was all over. I find that absolutely repugnant. I also don't buy the argument that he "matured." I consider anyone who would take such joy in the torment of others to be irredeemably morally depraved, and the difference between Potter, and someone like Bellatrix Lestrange is only a matter of degrees. I do like your version of Mary MacDonald a lot, and also like your depiction of Lily as being anything but innocent in regards to the falling out. I do tend to feel she is more to blame, because she didn't give him any type of warning that she would sever ties with him if he didn't change his ways. I also feel that she was somewhat naive in understanding his situation in Slytherin. Ie. he has to stay on good terms with those people, because they can do nasty things to him when he sleeps.

Author's Response: Hello-- I am so glad you like it, because technically this is my first fic, although after this many chapters, it's starting to feel like I know what I'm doing. :) I completely agree with you about JP/LE-- I just don't get the appeal there. Obviously everyone grows up to some degree, but James dies about three years out of Hogwarts, and it's hard to believe that he turned from a swaggering bully to a reformed character in such a short amount of time, never mind in the one year between 6th form and 7th. This might be a surprise, but I also agree with you about SS/LE-- when I started this story, the hardest part was to figure out what it would take for me to like the two of them together, how they would have to change for me to buy them as a couple. I mean, JKR said that they could have wound up together if SS hadn't been so into the Dark Arts-- but when you look at how they behave, with each other and with other people, it's not the making of a happy relationship. And I mean both of them-- not just him. I'm glad you like the character of Mary-- I really enjoy writing her, and Davis Llewellyn, and their growing relationships with Severus. It's interesting to think of what a friendship would look like for him, since all we see in the canon is the hatred between himself and the Marauders, several decades of obsessive, guilt-ridden, unrequited love, and a pretty twisted mentorship by Dumbledore.

Reviewer: the-wizardess
Date: 09/02/09 10:41
Chapter: Chapter 11- Ever So Slightly Merry

Oh, an update! *dances* I'm so happy! Severus and his complexity, ahh. :) And I hope he's able to think up something to help save the two students. :-s

Author's Response: The complexity is what makes him such a great character to write (and read-- sometimes it seems to me like 90% of the really amazing stories on MNFF are about this one person.) :) Thanks for reading it-- I'm working on another chapter right now.

Reviewer: NoxSomnium
Date: 09/01/09 23:23
Chapter: Chapter 11- Ever So Slightly Merry

Update Happiness! One question. Early on when talking about the dance you had the line, "since apparently ability to trip the light fantastic was included in the mysterious selection process." Which doesn't make any sense. My roomie and I pondered it for a bit, but we couldn't figure out precisely what you meant. :) I love this story!

Author's Response: I probably should have deleted that, when one of my betas didn't get it (the other one did-- or at least, she didn't ask me about it). It's an old-school phrase that means "to dance well," the history of which you can actually find on Wikipedia. :) I think it was quite popular among my parents' or grandparents' generation, but I'm sure it's long since out of style-- it originally came from a Milton poem, and then was shortened down to a slang phrase that made its way into popular culture. Anyway, I'm glad you like the fic, and thanks for always coming back and reading it and reviewing it again. :)

Reviewer: run-lola-run
Date: 07/22/09 15:56
Chapter: Chapter 10- Quite Contrary

I have loved reading this fic!! Please continue!! I need to know what happens next!

Snape was wonderfully in character throughout which I know is difficult to maintain, and I always love it when Mary is brought forward as we share a first name :)


Author's Response: Thanks so much-- I just sent my two wonderful betas the eleventh chapter, so I'm hoping to submit it soon and finally get on with writing it. And the twelfth chapter is well under way. Sometimes real life gets in the way and it takes me a long time to update, but I have a plan for this, so I'll keep writing it. Glad you like Mary-- she is a really enjoyable OC to write. I've been trying to write her as someone who would be feisty enough to stand up to Severus and sharp and unconventional enough to get along with him, but a reasonable friend for Lily also. Anyway, I'll have more on this soon, and I'm glad you're enjoying it. :) Anya

Reviewer: kazloopy
Date: 06/13/09 10:34
Chapter: Chapter 10- Quite Contrary

I really love this series. Please post the next one soon!!

Author's Response: I'm working on it! :) Sorry it's taking so long-- I'm kind of working on several chapters at once. Hopefully I'll have some more work done on it before long. Glad you're enjoying it! :)

Reviewer: sarcasticval
Date: 05/22/09 18:06
Chapter: Chapter 10- Quite Contrary

How do I love this story? Let me count the ways.

"First of all, they’re mostly Muggles..."
I think this is quite possibly one of my favorite lines/pop culture references in the entire piece, and I'm willing to bet anyone anyone that the wizard in the Stone's lineup is undoubtedly Keith Richards.

I adore the burgeoning friendship between Severus and Mary. I don't ship them, not yet, but I'm so pleased that he actually has someone in his life to give a damn. Her question in the previous chapter about whether he even had any friends broke my heart in the best way possible, and this chapter's gesture with the candy was adorable. Not to mention the banter and entire bet sequence. I'm eager to see her reactions when (if?) she learns of his own muggle background. Also, I've mentioned before how much I love the fact that you work in the 70's pop culture references, and that Severus is aware of them. As a halfblood who, as far as we know, was raised muggle he would be just as immersed in that world as a muggle born, and I enjoy that you go there. One wonders if the Marauders would ever pick up on the fact that the Slytherin was spouting off very non-pureblood-oriented slang, but I suppose that requires brainpower beyond Sirius's current mental facilities.

Also, your entire discussion on music now has me wondering what exactly Snape does choose to listen to. Curious and curiouser.

One other thing that I like about this fic are the flaws that you instill in your main characters. Lily isn't some perfect angel, and Snape isn't a poor misunderstood boy (well, not entirely). The flashback library bit was nice because it gave more credence to Lily's complaints about Severus, and really helps build up to the mudblood incident as a final straw, rather than Lily just arbitrarily deciding to end the relationship. There's a history there, and Lily, for her flaws, didn't just abandon Snape over a single mistake.

Author's Response: Hi Val-- good to hear from you again, and sorry it has taken me so long to reply (and to post another chapter.) So busy. Anyway, on to your review-- yay, someone picked up on the Rolling Stones comment. :) And yes, you're correct in your supposition. As for the pop culture references-- I know Lily would be clued in to them, and I think Severus would be despite himself. Of course, he'd have a more conflicted and pompous relationship to things like, say, ABBA. ;) And I'm glad you like Mary-- I was trying to come up with an OC whom Lily would reasonably be friends with but who would get along with Severus-- easier said than done. That said, she's fun and interesting to write-- and he deserves a decent friend besides Lily. Finally, the library scene-- I could so easily see Severus and Lily having a fight like that in their past. If they actually ever do get together, it would be despite having a significant amount of baggage, I think. Anyway, thanks as always for the review! I'm really trying to finish the 11th chapter-- hopefully soon.

Reviewer: Minerva67
Date: 05/20/09 17:07
Chapter: Chapter 10- Quite Contrary

Glad to se that you have posted new chapters. it 9s really getting good, This is my favorite Severus story oo the fan fics. Of course Voldemort is a Wagner fan. (chuckle) The Death Eaters are so Nazi. I have been trying to anticipate how this fic will work out. Obviously, if Lily ends up with Severus instead of James, there will be no Harry Potter----so who destroys Voldemort? If Severus realizes that Mary is really the girl for him, would he join the Death Eaters and later become a double agent? Many possibilitis of dark endings here. So fascinating, Severus trying to learn to banter with Mary and learn the social skills that he has obviously never had a chance to observe during his life up to now. I wonder how Severus will be able to keep this up without getting killed by his Slytherin housemates before the year is out.

Author's Response: Believe me, I get sidetracked by all these possibilities when I'm writing it-- JKR really has created a character with so many twists and turns. :) I'm glad you're enjoying the story so much-- and sorry it has taken me so long to reply (and to post another chapter). Real life has been pretty busy lately. I'm working on ch. 11 and should have it up before long. Thank you for the review!!!

Reviewer: NoxSomnium
Date: 05/18/09 20:43
Chapter: Chapter 10- Quite Contrary

YAY steps forward! That's so exciting! (no the excitement won't go away if there's lots more angst. I like stories that are really angsty with ultimately happy endings.) Keep up the good work.

Author's Response: I think he'd be badly out-of-character if there wasn't a healthy dollop of angst, so I'm glad you like it. :) Thanks so much for reading it time after time, and for the reviews! :)

Reviewer: Sariana
Date: 05/18/09 20:14
Chapter: Chapter 10- Quite Contrary

This was one of my favorite chapters so far. I had to laugh at the Elmer Fudd reference. Hitler was a fan of Wagner, so it stands to reason that Voldemort would favor him, too.

Severus should just forget about Lily and go for Mary. (I know I'm not the first reviewer to say that.) But then Harry would be in deep doo-doo, wouldn't he?

Ah, Llewellyn. An interesting character becomes much more intriguing.

I'm glad to know Severus had voiced his dilemma--that he has to live with those idiots. Too bad Lily didn't realize the significance of that comment. I think Mary might have done.

I was so happy to see an update. Good work, as usual.

Author's Response: Yay, someone picked up on the Hitler-Voldemort thing with Wagner. :) JKR leaves those sorts of parallels all over the place; it was fun to add another one. (Not to mention throwing Elmer Fudd in there also-- because Mary is a Muggleborn after all.) :) I know what you mean about how he should go for Mary. I had a lengthy episode of writer's block on this thing a while back for two reasons: 1) Quidditch, and 2) the realization that the girl he wants may not necessarily be the girl he needs. Read the scenes between himself and Lily in "The Prince's Tale" in DH and you'll see what I mean -- she has a long way to go before she would be a good match with even a reformed version of her old friend, because she cares so much about public opinion. Writing a best friend for her who understands Severus enough to take his side sort of threw a wrench in the works for me, because Mary definitely has more of a dark side than Lily, and cares a lot less what people think. Oh well-- leaves all sorts of possibilities, doesn't it? :) My beta Sandy could tell you that I had major debates with myself about this a few months back. Thank you, as always, for the review.

Reviewer: sarcasticval
Date: 05/05/09 23:07
Chapter: Chapter 9- An Impossible Position

Oh my god, you updated! The minute I saw the new chapter I got a huge stupid grin on my face. I love this story so much.

Author's Response: Hi-- good to hear from you again! I hope I'm doing an OK job of not turning his life into a complete and utter black hole of angst (unlike the actual canon in which, let's face it, it is.) :) Anyway, glad you're still liking it!

Reviewer: NoxSomnium
Date: 05/04/09 20:39
Chapter: Chapter 9- An Impossible Position

Can I please, please give Severus a hug? He needs so many cuddles! Not to mention a support system of some kind. I'm going to have to go back and see what the Avery incident was about; I seem to have forgotten. Nevertheless, Slytherin was being rather single minded about their revenge. I really can't see them letting their pride in terms of the schools opinion get put in second position to their desire to squish Snape under their boots.
Mary can't have a love interest, I want her with Snape now! Can I say that Lily still annoys me? I know she's only sixteen, and no one is at their brightest when they're sixteen, but still. She could at least try to get him some sort of back up. How can anyone change without help? He doesn't have a clear enough understanding of who he ought to be to make it on his own, much less the strength to pull it off. He needs to know that if he falls down there'll be someone for him to land on.

Do you see how much feeling you inspire in me :). I was all bouncy when I saw the update notice and I said, I'm so excited, about five times. Thankfully no one was in the room with me to be confused.

Author's Response: I think of Avery as being kind of quietly intimidating and yet having something of a cult of personality, especially on the Quidditch team, hence the vengeance bit-- that he's behind it, essentially. Something of a gang mentality, I suppose-- but yeah, a bit of a stretch. :) Re: Mary-- I just replied to another review with the same opinion, and the problem is, I have majorly waffled on that myself. Every time I read the few scenes we actually see of Lily -- "The Prince's Tale," basically-- I have to tie my brain in a knot thinking of how she would ever fall for Severus and admit it to herself and -- the tricky part -- admit it to the rest of the world. I mean, JKR said it was possible herself, but would a girl who cares that much about what her friends think ever actually fall for him, and if she did, how long would it last? It's only a matter of time before he ticks someone off or acts disdainful to Remus and Lily realizes she's going out with someone who lacks her social skills and alienates quite a few of her friends. She's realistic for 16, that's for certain, in the way JKR writes her-- I read Lily as so fed up with Severus by that point that she's kind of looking for a reason to get rid of him and to stop having to explain him to everyone. Mary sort of bridges the gap-- she's darker, more quirky, more independent, but bright like Lily and repelled by the Dark Arts like Lily, so she'd probably be a better fit for him, quite honestly. And yet to be true to the canon, he really has to be totally besotted with Lily. But of course, it allows for any number of possibilities, really. :)

Reviewer: Sariana
Date: 05/04/09 12:59
Chapter: Chapter 9- An Impossible Position

I forgot to mention: I'm curious about Llewellyn's illness. I think there's much more to that character than we've yet seen, but I haven't been able to decide if it's something positive or something sinister. Something to look forward to!

Author's Response: He's an interesting OC to write-- as is Mary. :) Glad you're liking reading his character-- I'm enjoying coming up with OCs and attempting to make them three-dimensional.

Reviewer: Sariana
Date: 05/04/09 12:53
Chapter: Chapter 9- An Impossible Position

Wow, I could never write Quidditch. Amazing. I like that Lily is doubting her own decision. Not many people would be able to look beyond to speculate that there may be more going on than meets the eye. As I said in a previous review, being a Slytherin in the 70s must have been a terrible ordeal. But no one outside the House seems to want to acknowledge that perhaps not every Slytherin WANTS to be a Death Eater. Seeing Sev getting bullied by his own Housemates is the perfect wake-up call, even if Lily is the only one smart enough to respond to it. I've always liked Remus, and I like how you portray him in this scene. The speculation about their nicknames is hilarious. Sorry for the disjointed comments, but my paragraph breaks never seem to show up, so I left them out this time. I was very happy to see an update. I hope you don't mind that I've been referring to your story to defend Severus and, oddly, Lily to other fanfic writers. Maybe I can get you some new readers.

Author's Response: Hello again-- I was stuck on this Quidditch chapter forever, so I'm glad it turned out OK! :) Lily is smart and spent seven years as Severus's friend, so I think she has to recognize his ambiguities even if she really just wants to be done with him. And yes, I think Slytherin is often seen as far too oversimplified-- you have Slytherins who are more like Slughorn than Bellatrix or Voldemort, ones who want to promote themselves somehow but who don't care about blood status or who aren't into Dark magic. In chapter 10, for example, I have Severus realizing that a Mrs. Llewellyn who "married up" could be a classic Slytherin and yet not be the least bit Dark -- if that's what she's like. Re: Remus-- I like Remus too, and the friendship he has with Lily. They've been the responsible ones and the leaders and the prefects together for a year & a half by this point-- I would imagine they'd be pretty tight. And finally, I'm really flattered that you'd refer this to other writers-- thanks so much! Everyone has their own different take on these characters, so I'm glad that mine actually works for anyone besides me. Oh, and the paragraph breaks-- same thing happens to me in replying to reviews. Annoying. :) I wish I knew how to fix it. :) Anyway, thanks again for all the reviews-- they really help me in writing it.

You must login (register) to review.
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.

We have stories and authors in this archive.


Choose Theme:
Tom Riddle and the Cave of Living Waters by alittletiefling 6th-7th Years
What would happen if Tom Marvolo Riddle had been adopted by well-meaning squibs?...
Molly Weasley's Apple Dumplings by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
Molly has studied history and knows the old stories, but she also knows what...
Early, Early Spring: Professor Sinistra Reflects by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
I didn't know much about Professor Sinistra, the Astronomy Professor, until...
It Takes Two to Tango by lucca4 3rd-5th Years
They cannot keep doing this; it is only a matter of whose resolve will break...
In The Heat Of The Morning by welshdevondragon 3rd-5th Years
Summary: In the heat of the morning, Katie and Leanne lie in the grounds...
Can't Fight the Moonlight by Acacia Carter 6th-7th Years
A life-changing disaster at work drives Neville Longbottom to seek aid from...
The History Teacher by iLuna17 6th-7th Years
Maybe he didn’t just love history, maybe he loved being a history teacher.
white on white by Padfoot11333 6th-7th Years
Three vignettes about scars, love, and sex.