Reviews For Black but Bright
Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 12/17/09 1:33
Chapter: Black but Bright

This is a great idea for a poem and you've dealt with the Black brothers estrangement extremely well. I love the way you highlight their similarities - their closeness- as well as their differences.

The second chose the cool green den, the cut grew even deeper then.

I adored this couplet. The cool, green den makes Slytherin sound like a very inviting place, and not at all like the 'slimy' dungeon setting we're used to.

I do have a few nitpicks regarding the flow at times. Although there's nothing at all wrong with the way the poem scans, your use of certain words - like 'really' - seem to have been placed in the line just to make the rhythm right. I realise that this is one of your earlier poems (it's nearly two years old - eeeek!) so what I'm actually saying is that I know how much your poetry has improved, to the extent that I doubt I'd be able to find anything to nit-pick in a more recent poem.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Haha, thanks for the review, Carole. In fact, that was my first HP poem - and the first "story" I submitted to MNFF. So it really is old, but I remember the writing process as if it were yesterday. *reminisces* Anyway, thanks for the review, hon. :)

Reviewer: Gmariam
Date: 06/06/09 19:09
Chapter: Black but Bright

That is really neat! I love how uniquely you've told the brother's story. I particularly liked the contrast between Sirius becoming a lion and Regulus choosing the cool green den - great imagery! Wonderful job! ~Gina :)

Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.

Reviewer: inspireme101
Date: 04/17/09 18:47
Chapter: Black but Bright

I am really starting to become a fan of your writing. I am dreadful on the best of days when it comes to writing poetry so that incresases the good impression your writing makes on me! I don't read poetry much but the truth in this made me smile. (That is kind of creepy as it is really sad but...*defeated sigh*) Keep writing!

Author's Response: Thank you for those nice words!

Reviewer: undesirable_number1
Date: 04/29/08 20:20
Chapter: Black but Bright

Wowie! (my trademark interjection) This poem is impressive. This is my favorite part: "The second chose the cool green den,/ the cut grew even deeper then." The metaphors are executed masterfully and your meaning is clear. I really do hope to see some more of your writing! : )

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your kind words, I really appreciate that. And I'm posting a new story here. You might want to have a look... ;p

Reviewer: padfootsgirl1981
Date: 03/29/08 8:22
Chapter: Black but Bright

Oh, wow! That was amazing! I don't usually read the poetry here on the sight, but this immediately caught my eye - it mentioned the Black brothers what more could anyone want? lol. This was really sad actually, I started getting a bit tearful at the end, it really is a shame that two brothers who were on the same side without knowing it, died for the same cause :(. Absolutely brilliant! *applauds*

Author's Response: Thanks so much, I really appreciate your kind words. And thanks for the applause at the end. (I've posted on fanfiction.net, too, if you're interested to read more of my writings.)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
The Skeletons' Tale by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet," wrote Shakespeare. This story...
Autumn At The Castle by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
The 'treat' of autumn's glorious beauty is inevitably follow by the 'trick'...
The Youngest Death Eaters: Year III by DestinyMoonStar 6th-7th Years
Year 3 A year of hard choices and tough talks: Destiny learns about...
FEATURED
Five Christmases by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
It took four Christmases for Andromeda Black and Ted Tonks to get together...
Coming Alive by The owl 6th-7th Years
Leanne Gamp hadn't wanted to be at that party, even though it was Christmas...
Graves by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
In December of 1997, Harry visits his parents' graves in Godric's Hollow and...
CATEGORIES