Reviews For Black but Bright
Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 12/17/09 1:33
Chapter: Black but Bright

This is a great idea for a poem and you've dealt with the Black brothers estrangement extremely well. I love the way you highlight their similarities - their closeness- as well as their differences.

The second chose the cool green den, the cut grew even deeper then.

I adored this couplet. The cool, green den makes Slytherin sound like a very inviting place, and not at all like the 'slimy' dungeon setting we're used to.

I do have a few nitpicks regarding the flow at times. Although there's nothing at all wrong with the way the poem scans, your use of certain words - like 'really' - seem to have been placed in the line just to make the rhythm right. I realise that this is one of your earlier poems (it's nearly two years old - eeeek!) so what I'm actually saying is that I know how much your poetry has improved, to the extent that I doubt I'd be able to find anything to nit-pick in a more recent poem.

~Carole~

Author's Response: Haha, thanks for the review, Carole. In fact, that was my first HP poem - and the first "story" I submitted to MNFF. So it really is old, but I remember the writing process as if it were yesterday. *reminisces* Anyway, thanks for the review, hon. :)

Reviewer: Gmariam
Date: 06/06/09 19:09
Chapter: Black but Bright

That is really neat! I love how uniquely you've told the brother's story. I particularly liked the contrast between Sirius becoming a lion and Regulus choosing the cool green den - great imagery! Wonderful job! ~Gina :)

Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.

Reviewer: inspireme101
Date: 04/17/09 18:47
Chapter: Black but Bright

I am really starting to become a fan of your writing. I am dreadful on the best of days when it comes to writing poetry so that incresases the good impression your writing makes on me! I don't read poetry much but the truth in this made me smile. (That is kind of creepy as it is really sad but...*defeated sigh*) Keep writing!

Author's Response: Thank you for those nice words!

Reviewer: undesirable_number1
Date: 04/29/08 20:20
Chapter: Black but Bright

Wowie! (my trademark interjection) This poem is impressive. This is my favorite part: "The second chose the cool green den,/ the cut grew even deeper then." The metaphors are executed masterfully and your meaning is clear. I really do hope to see some more of your writing! : )

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your kind words, I really appreciate that. And I'm posting a new story here. You might want to have a look... ;p

Reviewer: padfootsgirl1981
Date: 03/29/08 8:22
Chapter: Black but Bright

Oh, wow! That was amazing! I don't usually read the poetry here on the sight, but this immediately caught my eye - it mentioned the Black brothers what more could anyone want? lol. This was really sad actually, I started getting a bit tearful at the end, it really is a shame that two brothers who were on the same side without knowing it, died for the same cause :(. Absolutely brilliant! *applauds*

Author's Response: Thanks so much, I really appreciate your kind words. And thanks for the applause at the end. (I've posted on fanfiction.net, too, if you're interested to read more of my writings.)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
The Green Knight Rises by Kerichi 6th-7th Years
In Creevey Wizard Comics, the Green Knight aids those in need under the cloak...
Friends and Foes by Northumbrian 3rd-5th Years
It took Harry and his friends years to discover who killed Colin Creevey. Ginny...
Not From Others by FloreatCastellum 6th-7th Years
She may not have been able to join Harry, Ron and Hermione, but Ginny refuses...
FEATURED
Wild Card by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
It was going to happen eventually: Oliver Wood had to retire. But when the decision...
Half-life by welshdevondragon 3rd-5th Years
Neville has the rest of his life ahead of him, but all he can do is look back...
Skinny Love by xxbabewithbrainsxx 6th-7th Years
“I’ve always been chubby. Admit it.” “You’ve never been skinny...
Tigerlily by Maple_and_PheonixFeather 3rd-5th Years
You promised yourself you'd never hurt her, but there are times when you wonder...
Astriferous by Padfoot11333 6th-7th Years
Merope Gaunt has never been celestial.Nominated for a 2014 QSQ - Best Dark/Angst. Nominated...
CATEGORIES