MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: ProfPosky (Signed) · Date: 08/02/09 22:00 · For: I'll Take My Chances With Rogue Lightning Bolts, Thank You
Well, very interesting. You have a unique character here. I'd like ot see what happens next...

Author's Response: Thank you so much! :)

Name: Calico (Signed) · Date: 08/02/09 16:45 · For: Faster Than Me and My Lacy Bras Could Run
Wow this is good! I don't think I've ever read a mugglenet story with such a real OC. Priscilla's bad, but deliciously so, and I love what you've done with all the canon characters, as well as your other OC's. Please update very soon - I can't wait to see what happens in St. Mungo's!

Author's Response: Oh, thanks so much! I'm glad you like Priscilla :P It's a real compliment, so thanks again! I'll try to update ASAP.

Name: rita_skeeter (Signed) · Date: 08/26/08 18:47 · For: One Gigantic Pile of Psychiatric Meltdown
HA! I'm really enjoying this, Pat. The style of writing you've chosen is so fun that reading on is totally compelling! Many people attempt to write OCs who are friends with Ginny and end up with two-dimensional, predictable characters, but yours is an absolute delight, so well done!

The narrative is so easy to relate to [for a girl, at least!] and the fact that Priscilla brushes off anything important happening outside of Hogwarts [like the Hogsmeade attack] contrasts nicely with the time period you have chosen to write in, and the reactions of other characters. It's fantastic to read the little anecdotes that accompany her everyday life - her thoughts on other people and things that surround her are really original and amusing. Oh, and I love her completely innapropriate thinking. :D

I'm really excited to see where this trip to see Dean goes - I'm presuming that this is where the serious, Horcrux-hunt part of the story starts up. I'll be really interested to see how you manage to combine the light-hearted attitude of Priscilla with the darker elements of the story.

On a more personal note to you, I love that you made your OC hate Lavender Brown - it's not something I would have expected of you, dear! I suppose it's a great opportunity to poke fun at any parts of her you dislike, while secretly adoring her, hee. Oh, and I'm loving the mention of Siobahn and Patrick. Hmm, a theatre nerd called Patrick...I wonder who you might be getting your inspiration from!

Anyway, I'd be really eager to keep following this story. It's such an appealing style and I just can't wait to see if and when this Priscilla/Seamus thing works out... And I wonder who Lavender may end up with? *coughthispatrickguycough*

So yes, fabulous work, dear. Keep it up. Oh, and I'm loving that title! XD

Author's Response: Apparently I never responded to this review. >.> ANYWAY. Thanks so much for the review (even though it WAS from a year ago XD)

Name: GringottsVault711 (Signed) · Date: 08/24/08 7:29 · For: One Gigantic Pile of Psychiatric Meltdown
Ah! I don't have time to leave a proper review, but YAY for you finally updating. And, LMFAO at the sexually active pillows XD -- And then Siobhan! And her tall blond lover! And Patrick! Fabulous. :D

Author's Response: apparently I haven't responded to this yet. >.> Oops. Thank you!

Name: GringottsVault711 (Signed) · Date: 04/27/08 18:17 · For: Faster Than Me and My Lacy Bras Could Run
First, let me address the news article. I always notice fictional news articles because most fiction-writers aren’t journalism writers, so my journalism mind jumps to evaluate it. Yours was quite good, abnormally good for fiction, actually. But I still have a couple of teensy comments. One, the quote from Richard Bollum. It’s really unlikely that a news article would print his speech as spoken. I realise it’s not the worst thing in the world, but it still stuck out to me. Also, “sources say” is more of a term used in celeb stories and tabloids. An actual news story in an actual newspaper will say “According to a Ministry Spokeswitch / Ministry Officials / Aurors at the scene” or something like that. I also think that the lead (the first paragraph) could have been tidied up a bit, especially if you’d written it directly from newstory-lead-formula but that’s just me being nitpicky. >.>

Had the war made him hard? Wait, not that sort of hard. - LOL! FINALLY, a character who thinks like me. I most definitely giggled at the first sentence, and was just delighted when the character caught me on my thoughts. Wonderful.

Let me stop for a moment. The narration in this is amazing. I just want to highlight whole paragraphs and flail over them. It’s totally first person. Just enough tone in the words to give character to the thoughts. And just the right amount of side-thoughts and digressions without wandering too far from the point. It’s incredible. Wow, Patrick. When did you get this good?

Okay. I really do need to quote something for the sake of praising your first person train-of-thought narration. But, it has specific terrificness, so I’ll allow myself: Maybe if I looked through her arms? No, the shawls blocked the way.. I moved with her in that sentence. There was the thought, “Maybe…?” and then I sort of see her thinking about it, looking, and then realising the way is blocked, and saying, “No….”

…and start chatting loudly about which of my three lacy bras would make me look “biggest”. - LMAO. Patrick. OMG. Seriously? That’s so fabulous, and so the sort of thing I have done would do.

Her eyebrows went skyward. “Oh?” I adore this line. I love knew ways of saying ‘raised eybrows’ and ‘rolled eyes’; so fun. And, the “Oh?” is just. so. perfect.

…while I had begun to berate myself inside my head using profanity known only to pirates, prisoners-of-war, and certain Dark Lords who kill people for fun. I love her more and more.

And your Ginny is wonderful, too. “It’s called genetics, Priscilla.” Heehee.

“Oi, Priscilla, love, being naughty again?” EEEE! Loooove it. And damnit, this review has turned into a running squee/giggle commentary.

“What’s wrong, Lav? You don’t have…” his faced turned serious for a moment. “that… that problem…” He pointed to his crotch and winced. *DIES* Better. and. better.

…Okay. So, /end of chapter. There’s only one thing I think you need to improve on, and that’s British dialogue. I caught a lot of Americanisms, including ‘goofy’. Some of them are more just manners or ways of saying things, and some of them I’m not 100% sure on, being a confused Irish person whose lived in the US with friends who were mostly immigrants and with an Anna who is Swedish and uses British-English. So, I’m confused as all hell >.> But, I do notice words and phrases jumping out of your writing a lot that don’t really belong in the setting.

Other than that, all I have to say is: More? Soon? Please?!

Author's Response: That's such a lovely review, thanks, dear. *hugs*

Name: Sagen (Signed) · Date: 03/24/08 12:13 · For: Faster Than Me and My Lacy Bras Could Run
Oh, I really liked it, (and not only because I

Author's Response: Thank you! :)

Name: Fantasium (Signed) · Date: 03/23/08 14:36 · For: Faster Than Me and My Lacy Bras Could Run
*laughs and claps hands together* Patrick! I see the genius is returned!

I feel that this is an excellent first chapter for your story, and I absolutely forbid you to abandon it. Okay? Well then, let’s get on with the review. ;)

It’s not the first time I’m reading a Seventh Year-story from an OC’s point of view, but you make yours unique both through the main character, and through the way you’re telling it. Priscilla; what can I say about her? She seems terribly funny, scandalous, self-involved, a little rude and generally “girly”. I would probably not like her at all as a person, but as a character she amuses me and offers an excellently original angle of a Hogwarts student’s life.

The narrator voice you provide us through her has a dash of Bridget Jones to it; perhaps this is partly because of the title, The Songbook of Pricilla Love vs Bridget Jones’s Diary, but it’s also something about the humorous tone of your writing.

I find it very hard to tell what you’re going to do with this OC, which is of course very nice and intriguing. I can’t know whether you’re going to keep her this… shall we say light-hearted, or if you’re going to put her in a position where she has to face reality and thus become less shallow.

One thing I definitely love is how you don’t hold back on innuendos and naughtiness; and that isn’t mainly because I’m a scandalous person who enjoys that, but because it seems that you’ve really found your own style, your voice in this. I get the feeling that while writing this, you’ve not once stopped and thought, “Can I write this? Is this okay for Harry Potter fanfic?” Surely, you’re using existing characters and settings in an ever so admirable way, but the parts I really appreciate about this fic are the ones that are of your own invention.

It’s interesting that we were talking about that play you’re in only yesterday, because I think this story definitely has the tone of a play. Your writing is very detailed; not so much when it comes to the setting, but you’re very careful about telling exactly what people do and how they express themselves. I was thinking how easy it would be for your story to be turned into a play; it is obvious that you’re using knowledge gained from the theatre world while writing this, even if it’s unintentional on your part, and it’s GREAT for your story. I believe that by being an actor, you’re more aware of how your characters would look and sound and act in the situations and dialogues you put them in, and you convey that to us in an excellent way.

I don’t really have any constructive criticism to add, I’m afraid. I’m only hoping to see another chapter soon, written with the same humour and insight and wittiness, where Priscilla has to face different aspects of the HP world, which will let us learn more about her and her (hopefully) hidden depths.

Great writing, Mr Tuxedo. ;)

Author's Response: *hugs Anna* Thank you so much for the fabulous review from like, forever ago! :D

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