That made me tear up :'( So good :'(
umm, it got cut off...
Author's Response: Not exactly...
Wow, I loved that. Your writing is always very subtle, you're quite economic with description and unyarning character's thoughts - which is all to your credit. The... hmm... understatments of your understatedness are so much more powerful than a paragraph of ponder... The little bits - the beginning with 'I'm sorry', their annual meeting... It was the perfect form, said so simply all the things that make thier relationship interesting; the awkwardnes, everything always slightly unforfilled, and yet always returning to each other. Great stuff :)
I enjoyed this story for the simple fact that you handle language deftly:
"No thread of carpet or squeaking board marred his advance with a stumble or squeal."
That's just plain wonderful wording, and it is consistent throughout.
Secondly, it's Snape-centric, and I will never get enough of him.
What I really enjoyed most about this, though, is the device of the date that you used. This gave a passage of time without the obligatory "A year passed, and soon it was January yet again..." It removed the need to supply details of inference that we, as obsessive fans of the HP series, either possess already or have sufficiently fabricated on our own.
This was a great structure for telling your story.
(I cannot believe that I couldn't figure out how to comment the other night...I'm going to claim sleep deprivation on that one.)
How lovely to see a new story by you! This was a nice read (one can never have too much of Severus, after all), but I didn't like it quite as much as some of your others. Somehow it felt more contrived and not as much as though it were unquestionably a part of his history. Some of the reasoning was a little sketchy; for instance, Lily thinking that it would be inevitable that they would kiss. I can't see her just accepting that things happen a certain way.
However, the concept is still good, and I particularly liked how you started each section with “I'm sorry.” If you think about it, their relationship was limited by the fact that they probably always felt the need to apologize for who they were on the outside – golden girl of Gryffindor and shady Slytherin loner – because while they were kindred spirits, they made life difficult for each other by being in such different circumstances.
You always portray their relationship very beautifully, and this fic was no exception. “She wondered the thing a thousand fairy tales had trained her to wonder: would her kiss, if truly loving, transform him from his skinny, sallow, neglected form to his true one?” Really, I don't think you could have put it better. Women seem to be drawn magnetically to the men they think they can change and make better, don't you think? I also loved this line: “You lost the worst of yourself, after all. I lost the best.” Wonderful, clever allusion to DH.
This review feels like it's lacking in any real content, but there's not much to comment on either way, good or bad: it's another solid, affecting one-shot from you. Good work. =)
Coolness! It's obviously no surprise that you characterize Severus well, but I also loved your characterization of Lily! And for once we get a feeling that she actually did like James. That last section with just the date was very powerful as everyone before me has already mentioned. Thanks for a great read! :D
I love your stories. Whenever i see one i make sure to read it.
Wow. That was just - wow. Amazing. It brought tears to my eyes. You kept them both perfectly in character. It just seems so - them - to make a small promise like that and keep it for years. I love the way you start each part with "I'm sorry." and the last date, with nothing further, was sooo powerful.
Once again, amazingly done! (as always)
I liked the way the story ended, the date was just left blank. Hopefully she knew and appreciated all Severus did to protect her son.
wow. WOW. omg that was so great. completely beautiful, realistic, poetic even. amazing job!
that was amazing! You pulled it off really well and the fact that you didn't make it seem that she wasn't in love with james was a big plus for me! the last part almost made me cry. with the date and nothing else