Reviewer: The Elder Wyrm
Date: 06/08/14 1:37
Chapter: Chapter 1

More truth than poetry in that story. Well written, and funny only because I've been there and done that.

Reviewer: Gabsdot
Date: 07/15/10 13:33
Chapter: Chapter 1

This story is great. It reminded me of my house teeth grinding and all.
Really nicely written and a great incite into family life and the trials of being a working mum married to a man whose mum did everything for him.

Reviewer: mugglenetaddict813
Date: 07/24/09 22:54
Chapter: Chapter 1

Loved the story! I agree with what one of the other reviewers said: you just don't get "the less than fluffy side of marriage" stories very much. Although I don't have any little ones of my own yet, I often feel crazy when I come home and the apartment is not clean. I do, however, have a husband who helps out around the house all of the time, and I thank my lucky stars for that. But, I'm sure my mother can sympathize with Hermione. I grew up with 3 older brothers and a very messy dad and I definitely saw her go crazy a time or two! Hope my mom's craziness does't come back to haunt me. (It probably will! lol) But, again, great story! Very realistic! :)

Reviewer: cjbaggins
Date: 06/15/08 17:05
Chapter: Chapter 1

Very well done and incredibly realistic. I agree with another reviewer that what Rose did was cute, but probably irritating at the same time. One of mine once 'mopped' the floor for me. Took so much more work to fix the helping than if I'd done it myself. I disagree with another reviewer that the ending was abrupt. It's perfect the way it is; the abruptness is what makes it work. To me, the abruptness was the whole point of the ending! Well done. cj

Reviewer: Taylor-Marie Thomas
Date: 06/13/08 11:33
Chapter: Chapter 1

That was REALLY good! I'll add it to my Favorites.

Reviewer: Arial Felchem
Date: 04/04/08 13:41
Chapter: Chapter 1

Brilliant story! This is probably exactly what a morning at the Ron and Hermione Weasley house was like. Really well done.

Reviewer: Ophelia Quinn
Date: 04/01/08 14:43
Chapter: Chapter 1

familiar yet fresh. Brilliant!

Reviewer: sudeshna2kool4u
Date: 03/31/08 1:58
Chapter: Chapter 1

i loved it! that's exactly how i imagine their household to be!

Reviewer: HPLoverForever
Date: 03/24/08 0:51
Chapter: Chapter 1

I liked the point of view on marriage this story gives. It shows that marriage isn't always fun and games and couples do have their normal arguments and differences. This story was a good example of that, although its plot line could have been more developed.

You've got a lot of good descriptions here, along with a strong vocabulary. For example:

Ron glanced at his photo wife and shuffled after her, leaving only the vista from the Burrow’s garden of verdant green hills and blue, cloudless sky.

Not only does the vocabulary in this bit help the reader picture what you're describing more clearly, but it flows very smoothly without any choppiness.

“What was that for?” The growl cresendoed to a roar.

Also another example of your good word choice! I smiled when I read that because I play the violin and I didn't realize that there were people outside the musical world who knew the word 'crescendo' (maybe you are though! :] ). However, although this is nitpicking, 'crescendoed' is misspelled. Don't forget the 'c'! ;)

Your ending was slightly abrupt. You may want to go back and attempt to develop it a little more to give the story a better sense of closure. Also, just a question, why was Ron attempting to do his chores by hand? ;)

Other than those few things, I liked this one-shot a lot. Like I mentioned earlier, it gives a great view of the other not-so-happy side of marriage that people don't normally see aside from in their own home, and it was a very unique idea. Good job!

Author's Response: I made that correction :-) thanks!! As for the ending, I went over the options with my betas and I made a conscious decision to have it end the way it did. And I think you actually got the point of it - there was no closure. Sometimes there just isn't. Possibly the choice won't work for everyone, but it felt right to me if that makes sense. And as for Ron doing his chores by hand, as Molly would say, 'you don't have to whip your wand out for everything.' Seriously, we know how Ron is with magic. Would he really risk messing up and pissing off Hermione even more? ;-)rnrnThanks so much for all the input!!

Reviewer: anath
Date: 03/19/08 17:13
Chapter: Chapter 1

Ha-ha, the victor left the battlefield! Poor Hermione...

Reviewer: fishstep
Date: 03/19/08 7:59
Chapter: Chapter 1

I have four kids like that (I include Ron as Hermione's third "kid"!) and want my Floo powder...NOW!!!! Great chapter here - it feels very real.

Reviewer: Willow the Wisp
Date: 03/19/08 2:55
Chapter: Chapter 1

That was a very good story.

You hardly see the not-so-sweet side of marriage anymore in fanfics. It was very fun to read.

Reviewer: deanine
Date: 03/19/08 0:26
Chapter: Chapter 1

Momma didn't raise no fools *giggles* Nicely written, very descriptive and a fun read :)

Reviewer: saneasluna
Date: 03/18/08 22:05
Chapter: Chapter 1

"Time of the month"...
Poor, clueless Ron; it's the last thing she wants to hear. I guess Hermione still has great aim after all these years. Great job (;
P.S. What Rose did was cute; cute, but would send her mother over the edge.

You must login (register) to review.
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.

We have stories and authors in this archive.


Choose Theme:
Research and Development by Northumbrian 3rd-5th Years
The Mirrorphone, the latest advance in Wizarding communications. Now, of course...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 2 by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 1st-2nd Years
The Weird Sisters are back for an encore. Ten more tracks from your MNFF authors.
on this side of heaven by Nagini Riddle 1st-2nd Years
Ariana Dumbledore is struck by a stray curse, and she suddenly finds herself...
Oread, Walking by Seren
Cedric was just as odd as Hermione, because he liked to walk. Cedric/Hermione
The Effect of Gamma Rays on Two Terrifically Trapped Gryffindors. by Fenixaze 3rd-5th Years
From the "Stuck where for the weekend?" Challenge on ... Our two...
Drunk on Him by armagod679 Professors
For me, he was an obsession, a burning obsession, one that I could never let...
A Broken Hallelujah by epiphany212 Professors
You have always loved the chase. The pursuit of Quaffles and dragons have carried...
In the Hufflepuff Way by 1000timesingoldenink 3rd-5th Years
Did anybody really appreciate Hannah's mum?Because Mrs. Abbott was a heroine...
And Now... by Oregonian 3rd-5th Years
Moments after the death of Voldemort, Harry gazes at the corpse of the Dark...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 1 by minnabird 1st-2nd Years
Welcome back to another rousing round of rambunctious rock!However, a new act...