My dear Miss Delaney, I'm sorry for not taking a gander at your treasure trove of stories until now.
I'm happy to say Beginning of the End lives up to its title.
The obvious and subtle reversal is a theme throughout.
Rowena thinks Salazar isn't planning, when she is the one who is more than a little distracted.
And of course, there's our perceptions and preconceptions reversed and subverted as well. Because of his Chamber, there has always been this taint to Salazar Slytherin, I'm not alone in thinking him an anti-social loner whom nobody likes and only probably joined the other three for his own gain... but here you have given him dimension. He hasn't been merely tolerated, but loved. And it's surprisingly not just plausible but pleasant, too, that his ambitions used to be centered on nothing and no one beyond Rowena.
Aww.
And then, being Slytherin, there he is, rendering Ravenclaw speechless. He is right. In his perspective, he is the one betrayed.
I would have preferred more archaic phrasings but I enjoyed this nevertheless. I loved how you used the Yeats quote at the end.
Though there is love in how Rowena answered it, the following sentence immediately and gracefully hinted of how this is indeed the beginning of the end.
Because of what is lost between them.
~Joanna
that was really short and boring no offence i think you could do way better
xxx
Author's Response: I'm actually glad you said this, because I went back and reread the story and discovered half of it was missing - it had never been posted. >.>
Oh, wow! I had actually imagined Slytherin and Ravenclaw together, so it was pretty awesome finding this story. I can't wait for the next chapter. And I love your writing style! It's very elegant.
Author's Response: Oh, hooray! There are some good Salazar/Rowena stories out there. Try Quest for Knowledge by TheVault. Also, it's a one-shot, so no next chapter! Sorry about that. You'll be glad, really - I'm awful with updating. And I thank you so much for appreciating my writing style! It's so, so good to hear that.
Ooh, this is intriguing... Can't wait to see what happens! Oh and by the way, I'm thinking just maybe the line "you're one part of me, and therefore I can't let you grow too far from my heart" is from The Other Boleyn Girl? Just a guess.
Author's Response: That's exactly right! Thanks for reading.
very good. I really liked it and it was very intimate!
Author's Response: It was indeed. I'm very glad you liked it! Thank you.
Oooh, nice, very nice! I like the dark and helpless place that Rowena is trapped in, how she can see the end coming but doesn't know how to stop it. You're able to show a lot about her in a few words, which is impressive. I particularly loved, "That wasn’t how it was supposed to work. They were supposed to be each other’s masterpiece." That line is so elegant and powerful. I also liked, "You're one part of me, and I therefore can’t let you grow too far from my heart?" However, the following mention of "brutal honesty" seemed wrong, since the truth she was thinking wasn't really brutal at all. Another word choice that felt off to me was "his words were temporarily harmless." I think "superficially" is more the meaning, unless I'm misreading the intent of the sentence. But the last two paragraphs were my favorites; they were everything I like about this story, sparsely worded but rich in meaning and emotion. Very well done!
Author's Response: The way this story has gone is quite amusing. I submitted it one minute, it was accepted the next, and I have a SPEW review on it the next! Brilliant, yes? Anyway, you're quite right about the use of 'brutal' and that temporary is probably the wrong word - I meant to say that the words weren't harmless as he spoke them then, but had the potential to be. So I think 'superficial' would work nicely there. Thank you so much for your thoughts!
