MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: Eleanor Lupin (Signed) · Date: 07/16/11 14:17 · For: The Last Black With Her Sanity Intact
Wow, that was just amazing. Really amazing. It was incredibly well-written, and I especially enjoyed it since Andromeda was one of those characters where I didn't hear much about them but they just stuck with me. It was definitely touching, I loved the characterization of Andromeda, it was very well done, and thought it was cool that your view of Andromeda's personality was practically identical to mine. I loved this!

Name: Kerichi (Signed) · Date: 09/13/09 18:47 · For: The Last Black With Her Sanity Intact

I admired so much about this story and yet ended it with mixed feelings about your characterization of Andromeda. I think you expressed her thoughts and feelings extremely well, tying physical responses with emotional distress that was in itself greater than any physical pain alone could have been.

I found it poignant that she'd fooled herself into believing Bellatrix was forced to commit atrocities, and that she'd promised to protect Sirius. Her realization that Sirius had never needed her help, that Bellatrix had always been responsible for her actions was wrenching. Everyone has been as "stupid" at some point in life.

It was the portrayal of Andromeda as a cousin who wouldn't visit because she was afraid Dementors would bring up bad memories, a woman who found satisfaction (however "odd") that Sirius' death removed the guilt of failing to protect him, of being able to blame someone else, that I'm ambivilant about. That she could feel Sirius' escape and time with family and Harry "a waste"  and wonder how she could cope now that her childhood reason for maintaining sanity was gone was hard for me to get my head around.

Yes, Andromeda would naturally "stop needing Sirius Black long ago," but for her to think "now that there was nobody in her life to remind her of the past she was always looking to escape, she knew she could finally move forward. And maybe even forget" struck me as self-centered and repellent.

I've never imagined Andromeda weak and craven, but that doesn't mean she can't be. It could be due to childhood abuse, emotional fragility, or any combination of reasons. I don't want you to think that I'm trying to say your view is wrong. I'm not. It's as valid as any other writer's characterization. I just see her differently.

To change topics, :), in the fourth paragraph down you're need a direct address comma for "Oh Dora". In the fourth paragraph up from the bottom, you use a semi colon when a period would vary sentence length and keep the reader from mentally running out of breath. 

When you described the realization of Sirius' death as "like a violent ocean wave", the simile struck me as one that's used so much it's cliche. In the very next paragraph, however, I absolutely loved the the way you phrased Dora's tears.

pools of tears settled in her eyes.

That's such a descriptive, poignant image. It makes me wish I'd written it. :D



Name: Lola-Louisa (Signed) · Date: 06/21/08 9:04 · For: The Last Black With Her Sanity Intact
Loved it x

Author's Response: Why, thank you :)

Name: The Salt Lake Queen (Signed) · Date: 02/17/08 20:14 · For: The Last Black With Her Sanity Intact
That was beautiful. I was truly touched.

Author's Response: aww, thank you. glad you liked it!

Name: Jazzbones (Signed) · Date: 02/07/08 14:25 · For: The Last Black With Her Sanity Intact
Very good. Another point of view not explored until now.

Author's Response: thanks :)

Name: HogwartsGirly124 (Signed) · Date: 02/06/08 21:12 · For: The Last Black With Her Sanity Intact
I really loved it! Good job! It really gave a different sort of spin on Sirius death! I look forward to more!

-- Sophia

Author's Response: thanks for reading :)

Name: Afifa (Signed) · Date: 02/06/08 14:31 · For: The Last Black With Her Sanity Intact
i just loved it!

Author's Response: I'm glad.

Name: thenag (Signed) · Date: 02/06/08 10:27 · For: The Last Black With Her Sanity Intact
Well done.

Author's Response: thanks :)

Name: Midnight109 (Signed) · Date: 02/06/08 10:02 · For: The Last Black With Her Sanity Intact
I really like the way you portrayed Andromeda in this fic, and the only thing I think you could've done was shown that she knew something was wrong from Remus, since I'm sure Remus would've looked different from losing his best friend- that seemed a bit off bit aside from that I liked it. =D

Author's Response: ooh, yes. thats true. thank you for reviewing!

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