i love these
Author's Response: Aww! Your reviews are so nice; thank you!
aw that is sweet i love it
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for your review! (I love your pen-name, by the way)
This poem is pepo, my own word that means awesome. It's so deep, so awesome. Pepo!!!!
Author's Response: Wow; I'm glad you feel my poem is 'pepo'! Thanks so much for your kind words and comments!
well, now, Trivia, they are all just superb!
keep writing, you are quite amazing! They are very Luna-ish... i could so see her at the lake, watching the giant squid and writing these. I could also imagine her having her own column in the Quibbler... Keep writing, Trivia!
Author's Response: Ohh! Thank you very much Ginnione Grangley! The fourth one is in the queue, right now. From what I have read of your story (first chapter), it looks great also! Thanks so much for you comments!
I cannot find the words to tell you how much I loved that poem. *adores poem* The ending, especially, was superb. I loved this line:
I tell mother nature my secrets,
Ask her my questions.
It was amazing. All of your poems just sound so much like Luna, and I imagine it's hard to get her in character, but you did a fantastic job.
*is impatient waiting for Luna Poem #4*
Author's Response: Thanks so much! *smiles happily at the reviews from you* I'm glad Luna sounds in character; it's a lot of fun to write from her perspective, seeing as she has so many different traits I can choose from. rnrnNumber four is in the queue, and hopefully will be validated! It is more focused on one moment in Luna's life, and is my favorite; probably because I explore more of one thought...rnrnThanks again for your comments; they made my evening!
Oh, I loved it! *adds to favorites* That was just so...so...Luna-ish. :) I especially loved these couple of lines -
I realise that laughter
Is the feeling of sitting on a windswept hill,
With the countryside spread out below you.
I loved the ending, too. Great job, keep writing! *is off to read the next Luna poem*.
Author's Response: Thank you so much (blushes and smiles)! Your comments made me smile, and those lines are some of my favorites too.
I can hear Luna saying this =)
This is very good! Luna would really seem to think of laughter this way! My favourite line is when it says, "Trying to measure laughter- It is like trying to decide whether Nargles are black with white stripes, Or white with black stripes." Hehe!
Author's Response: Thank you! That is one of my favourite lines too, the other one being the "trying to capture a beautiful high note......" . I'm glad you like that line, I had fun writing it. Thanks again for your comments! :)
Author's Response: Thank you, I'm gald you liked it :)
I thought your poem really captured a Luna-ish state of mind, and that it flowed well. It really shows how optimistic she is about life, even though she has very few friends. I hope you continue with this idea, I want to read more!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! I'm glad you think the perspective was Luna-ish, I tried to make it as true to her as I could. I have some more poems of Luna that will hopefully make it through the queue once all the database problems are sorted out. Thanks again!
Very smooth…I especially loved the first part : the juxtaposition of “smoothness”, “bounce”, and “beam” gave a wonderful airy, light, feel that manages to remain throughout the entire poem.
I would suggest you work a bit more on the way you break up the stanzas, though. Authours sometimes leave this as a “secondary” issue and not as important as the wording, but in a poem it is just as important, and I think there are ways you could develop this dimension a little more. For example: It is like trying to decide whether Nargles are black with white stripes/Or white with black stripes. To me, this is an opportunity lost, because if you say It is like trying to decide whether Nargles/ Are black with white stripes, /Or white with black stripes, then you have this great mirror effect that is formed.
The ending, by contrast, was really well broken up. The last little Laugh really punctures the reader and sends the message home.
All in all, this had a nice ring to it, and is definitely a great base and idea! Keep writing!
Author's Response: Thank you for not just the review, but for the constructive criticism as well! Yeah, I have had a little trouble with the stanzas as you picked up on, and I am continuing to try and find the right stanza breaks as I write more poems from her perspective. I'm glad you like the word choice in the first part, and in the end; I spent time trying to get the words Luna-ish, and trying to make the end line right, so I'm glad it payed off! Thanks again, and I will keep the "mirror effect" in mind!