MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: PheonixFlamesForever (Signed) · Date: 01/28/09 14:02 · For: Everlasting Friendship and a Green Baseball Cap
I read this such a long time ago, and I left such a short review. But this has stayed with me- this story out of the hundreds I’ve read on here, and I just thought I’d tell you that. I remember the emotion. And I loved it.

FBI Agent. I presume, due to the mention to Hogwarts that this is a British fic. Unfortunately, we don’t call it ‘FBI agent,’ it’d probably be MI5 or MI6 but in this wizarding environment, it’d be an Auror. Just a thought. In fact, throughout this fic, there are a lot of Brit-Picks, which I’m not going to go into detail on, but for example, with the word ‘rumour’ or ‘rumor’ as you’ve spelt it. This doesn’t distract from the story, not from my point of view, it’s only because I’m reading this in so much detail that I’ve noticed them.

You have the lovely touch in this line here, This was where the Muggles had been killed The new paragraph and the straight to the point, almost bluntness of this line is just fantastic. It doesn’t need to be dressed up with fancy words, it’s just perfect the way it is. I adore this line. And then you compliment it so nicely with the detailed paragraph below, detailing the story of Sirius Black and the 13. The language in here, the dialogue between Josiah and Grace when they’re younger is just so adorable, you can really tell the youth in their speech. “You’re my best friend! I wouldn’t dare scare you, Grace.” Here is where I see it. Plus, the mention of her ‘clammy hands.’ It helps build up this picture of them. It’s cute.

My heart just melted at the ‘kissing scene’. The two are so sweetly naive. Plus, this line when he’s talking to his mother, “I’ll tell her when it rains.” This dialogue is perfect, the conversation is brilliant. I’m totally gushing right now, but I really mean it all. Poor Josiah, I really feel for him right now.

Oh. I forgot this happened. By ‘this’, I mean the terrible tragedy. I have tears pricking in my eyes right now. Grace’s denial is so sweet and so childlike of her – although I think the way her mother told her may almost be patronising. She’s eleven, she must know about death and such. Maybe it just shows the maturity of the parents – if the father can’t muster up enough strength to go into the forest, even though it’s just based on myths. Even he didn’t dare tread inside those woods and especially at night The use of the word, ‘even’ means that you would usually expect him to be brave. I resent him for this.

The description in the paragraph after she hears the shouts for her name are exquisite. It had been as if all the animals were demonic, their wicked eyes peering over their nests to gaze at them walking through. As they crunched over the brushwood and dead leaves the clouds seemed to give into the forest’s powers as well. They became discoloured and grey instead of the silky blue they had been that entire day, and the sun had disappeared. I really mean it. The words flow so well together and everything seems to fit together succinctly.

The ending is a little confusing at times. I see a dream sequence in it, and I understand the warped sense of it – her mind is manipulating her into doing things. This line is a little confusing, Finally the door loomed in front of her, many feet taller than her height. Is this a metaphor? Or is it genuinely meant? It’s a little morbid that she would want to see the dead body of her best friend. Maybe it would close everything for her – give her closure, perhaps. But it didn’t, sadly. She thinks that building the tree-house, now, will give her closure. I think that Grace will constantly be searching now and that it’ll never really come. That really saddens me actually, but it seems so real.

Of course, I love this story – I told you that at the beginning. I’m confused about the location of this story – you mention Sirius’ rampage (which was Peter’s) which definitely took place in England or at the very least in the United Kingdom. Except, there are things in this story which are so definitely American that it really distracts from the story. It’s nothing major – the story, the characters and the way they interact and the lovely description is just amazing, but I really feel this story could be totally perfect if this was just made a little more British. I love this story – I think I always will. It’s so emotive and lovely and really I’m totally trying to pick holes in it because apart from that, I love it.
Thank you. :D

Author's Response: Elle! You are just wonderful. I haven't got around to getting on here in a while, but I lurk every once in a while to check a review or two on one of my stories. Your review was so perfect--- I do hope you're in SPEW or at least thinking about it, because you made me gush as I read this. I'm so happy that you liked this so much. ~Lindsey :)

Name: Soccer_rocks_likeHP (Signed) · Date: 02/17/08 22:46 · For: Everlasting Friendship and a Green Baseball Cap
That was spectacular! I was crying then I was terrified. You did a great job in writing this. There were incredibly sweet moments in there, perfect for eleven year olds, and there were just dreadful moments where my heart sank. Great job!


Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much, Lexi! *hugs* ~Lindsey :)

Name: PheonixFlamesForever (Signed) · Date: 02/03/08 12:37 · For: Everlasting Friendship and a Green Baseball Cap
oh my goodness. This has to be one of the best fics I have ever read. I cannot say how much I absolutely love this story. It's just . . .wow. Sorry, I know this review isn't exactly helpful. But you really bought the characters to life, and it made me shed a tear, I admit. I think that is a sign of a good author, someone who can make people feel for the characters in their story.
This is truly lovely.

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so very much! And your review was extremely helpful--- it told me that people actually like the story, and since you cried that means that I got the emotions down pretty good. Thank you so much for this great review! I'm flattered that you think it's one of the best fics you've read! -blushes- ~Lindsey :)

Name: Ronsgrl95 (Signed) · Date: 01/31/08 20:07 · For: Everlasting Friendship and a Green Baseball Cap
omg...how beautiful! so sad but a wonderfully written story.

Author's Response: Aw, thanks so very much! I really appreciate the review. ~Lindsey :)

Name: Ronsgrl95 (Signed) · Date: 01/31/08 20:06 · For: Everlasting Friendship and a Green Baseball Cap
omg...how beautiful! so sad but a wonderfully written story.

Author's Response: Aw, thanks so very much! I really appreciate the review. ~Lindsey :)

Name: James Jameson (Signed) · Date: 01/29/08 22:02 · For: Everlasting Friendship and a Green Baseball Cap
tat made me cry, lindsay! I LOVED this!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it so much. *hugs* ~Lindsey :)

Name: beauty and brains (Signed) · Date: 01/29/08 19:38 · For: Everlasting Friendship and a Green Baseball Cap
Oh Lindsey, this was wonderful! I'll admit, you did drag a few tears from me, though the beginning had me remembering exactly how it was to be eleven again. You created Grace and Josiah so completely I could picture them in my mind's eye prefectly. Outstanding job!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I was hoping to drag a few tears from at least someone, so that means I did a little something right. Thanks for reading! *huggles*

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