Reviewer: MissyQuill
Date: 04/28/08 1:22
Chapter: smooth, stone-wall visage

Stubby love, let me start of by saying what an amazing poem this is. And when I read it, my mind jumped straight to Sev and how he never lets anyone (save one *sniff*) gets close enough. The way he is always, ALWAYS, trying to be detached from a situation. You portrayed that perfectly.

And the punctuation *loves* *is a closet ee cumming fan* The punctuation you used as a tool which was brilliant. It helped the effect of the poem to sink in more deeply.

And then of course there is your lovely word choice. Vocabulary is especially important when writing Sev because he wasn't a man of many words and only spoke when strictly needed. So to do that characterization justice with the right amount of words... *is in awe*

This is a wonderful poem love, and you are a wonderful poet. I can find anything to nitpick in this, not one single thing.:) Keep up the awesomeness. *squishes*=Sammy

Author's Response: Sammy, thank you. Thanks a ton. I get few well-thought out reviews... and I really like them.

Reviewer: Rhi for HP
Date: 01/28/08 11:48
Chapter: smooth, stone-wall visage

I loved this. You are an excellent poet. Did you have any particular character PoV in mind? Voldemort...even Dumbledore or Harry maybe? I don't know; what were you thinking?

Author's Response: *smile* *points down*

Reviewer: amzing
Date: 01/27/08 15:07
Chapter: smooth, stone-wall visage

i liked it...i just want to know who its about..maybe draco?

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. I'll finally admit that I had Severus in mind while writing this: I though of him and Occlumency and how he's got to work so hard to hide his true feelings and alliances. It's interesting to see other people's interpretations, though. Thanks for reading! -Stubby

Reviewer: moonlillies
Date: 01/27/08 14:42
Chapter: smooth, stone-wall visage

I really liked it, but what is it about? It was very intricate, though, with detail. You might wanna edit in some capitalization, though.

~~moonlillies

Author's Response: warped this perhapsy stumbl i NgflounderpirouettiN g :seized( tatterdemalion dow nupfloatsw oon InG s ly)tuck.s its(ghostsoul sheshape) elf into leasting forever most magical maybes of certainly never the iswas teetertiptotterish sp- inwhirlpin -wh EEling ;a!who, ( whic hbubble ssomethin gabou tlov e) ee cummings

Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves
Date: 01/27/08 14:35
Chapter: smooth, stone-wall visage

STUBBY! Great poem, love. It was sad and mysterious. I don't think it was a waste of time submitting!

Who is the poem about, by the way?
~Padfoot :)

Author's Response: :D PADFOOT! Thanks, mate. I tried to go with a more vague feel here that seemed to have a nice effect. Apparently, it wasn't a waste of time! -Stubby (who says you'll have to figure it out for youself or she'll tell a later reviewer)

Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21
Date: 01/27/08 14:22
Chapter: smooth, stone-wall visage

Very, very nice, Stubby! I'm happy that you submitted this; it's a great poem.

All the punctuation is actually helping the poem, rather than hindering it, so good job there.

*is too lazy to write anything else*

*pokes*

*flees*

- Katie

Author's Response: *pokes* *is to lazy to say anything but thank you* *flees* -Stubby

Reviewer: moonstargazer
Date: 01/27/08 13:05
Chapter: smooth, stone-wall visage

No you were not wrong in submitting it. It is wonderful! I have a feeling, is this about Lupin? I surmised it might be, by reading the last paragraph.
Congratulations on your work.

Author's Response: Aw, thanks. It's not about Lupin necessarily, but it can be if you want it to be.

Reviewer: ProfPosky
Date: 01/27/08 12:32
Chapter: smooth, stone-wall visage

Good. I suppose you could get it a little tighter, a little more compressed meaning, in places like "Tthan any other" and "so that" but that is my taste, yours may differ. I dod think a better title could add significantly to the impact.

And I only bothered commenting because I thought it was good to begin with...

Author's Response: :D Thanks. It's in iambic pentameter. Yeah. -S

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 2 by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 1st-2nd Years
The Weird Sisters are back for an encore. Ten more tracks from your MNFF authors.
on this side of heaven by Nagini Riddle 1st-2nd Years
Ariana Dumbledore is struck by a stray curse, and she suddenly finds herself...
The Youngest Death Eaters: Year III by DestinyMoonStar 6th-7th Years
Year 3 A year of hard choices and tough talks: Destiny learns about...
FEATURED
Oread, Walking by Seren
Cedric was just as odd as Hermione, because he liked to walk. Cedric/Hermione
The Effect of Gamma Rays on Two Terrifically Trapped Gryffindors. by Fenixaze 3rd-5th Years
From the "Stuck where for the weekend?" Challenge on Portkey.org ... Our two...
Drunk on Him by armagod679 Professors
For me, he was an obsession, a burning obsession, one that I could never let...
A Broken Hallelujah by epiphany212 Professors
You have always loved the chase. The pursuit of Quaffles and dragons have carried...
In the Hufflepuff Way by 1000timesingoldenink 3rd-5th Years
Did anybody really appreciate Hannah's mum?Because Mrs. Abbott was a heroine...
And Now... by Oregonian 3rd-5th Years
Moments after the death of Voldemort, Harry gazes at the corpse of the Dark...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 1 by minnabird 1st-2nd Years
Welcome back to another rousing round of rambunctious rock!However, a new act...
CATEGORIES