Reviewer: MissyQuill
Date: 04/28/08 1:22
Chapter: smooth, stone-wall visage
Stubby love, let me start of by saying what an amazing poem this is. And when I read it, my mind jumped straight to Sev and how he never lets anyone (save one *sniff*) gets close enough. The way he is always, ALWAYS, trying to be detached from a situation. You portrayed that perfectly.
And the punctuation *loves* *is a closet ee cumming fan* The punctuation you used as a tool which was brilliant. It helped the effect of the poem to sink in more deeply.
And then of course there is your lovely word choice. Vocabulary is especially important when writing Sev because he wasn't a man of many words and only spoke when strictly needed. So to do that characterization justice with the right amount of words... *is in awe*
This is a wonderful poem love, and you are a wonderful poet. I can find anything to nitpick in this, not one single thing.:) Keep up the awesomeness. *squishes*=Sammy
Author's Response: Sammy, thank you. Thanks a ton. I get few well-thought out reviews... and I really like them.
Reviewer: Rhi for HP
Date: 01/28/08 11:48
Chapter: smooth, stone-wall visage
I loved this. You are an excellent poet. Did you have any particular character PoV in mind? Voldemort...even Dumbledore or Harry maybe? I don't know; what were you thinking?
Author's Response: *smile*
*points down*
Reviewer: amzing
Date: 01/27/08 15:07
Chapter: smooth, stone-wall visage
i liked it...i just want to know who its about..maybe draco?
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. I'll finally admit that I had Severus in mind while writing this: I though of him and Occlumency and how he's got to work so hard to hide his true feelings and alliances. It's interesting to see other people's interpretations, though. Thanks for reading! -Stubby
Reviewer: moonlillies
Date: 01/27/08 14:42
Chapter: smooth, stone-wall visage
I really liked it, but what is it about? It was very intricate, though, with detail. You might wanna edit in some capitalization, though.
~~moonlillies
Author's Response: warped this perhapsy
stumbl
i
NgflounderpirouettiN
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:seized(
tatterdemalion
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oon
InG
s ly)tuck.s its(ghostsoul sheshape)
elf into leasting forever most
magical maybes of certainly
never the iswas
teetertiptotterish
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ee cummings
Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves
Date: 01/27/08 14:35
Chapter: smooth, stone-wall visage
STUBBY! Great poem, love. It was sad and mysterious. I don't think it was a waste of time submitting!
Who is the poem about, by the way?
~Padfoot :)
Author's Response: :D PADFOOT! Thanks, mate. I tried to go with a more vague feel here that seemed to have a nice effect. Apparently, it wasn't a waste of time!
-Stubby (who says you'll have to figure it out for youself or she'll tell a later reviewer)
Reviewer: harrypotterfangirl21
Date: 01/27/08 14:22
Chapter: smooth, stone-wall visage
Very, very nice, Stubby! I'm happy that you submitted this; it's a great poem.
All the punctuation is actually helping the poem, rather than hindering it, so good job there.
*is too lazy to write anything else*
*pokes*
*flees*
- Katie
Author's Response: *pokes*
*is to lazy to say anything but thank you*
*flees*
-Stubby
Reviewer: moonstargazer
Date: 01/27/08 13:05
Chapter: smooth, stone-wall visage
No you were not wrong in submitting it. It is wonderful! I have a feeling, is this about Lupin? I surmised it might be, by reading the last paragraph.
Congratulations on your work.
Author's Response: Aw, thanks. It's not about Lupin necessarily, but it can be if you want it to be.
Reviewer: ProfPosky
Date: 01/27/08 12:32
Chapter: smooth, stone-wall visage
Good. I suppose you could get it a little tighter, a little more compressed meaning, in places like "Tthan any other" and "so that" but that is my taste, yours may differ. I dod think a better title could add significantly to the impact.
And I only bothered commenting because I thought it was good to begin with...
Author's Response: :D
Thanks. It's in iambic pentameter. Yeah.
-S
