Hi, Becca! I decided to stalk you after we were partnered in Fresca’s class. XD don’t worry, you won’t need a restraining order. Now, let’s get down to the actual review for this fabulous fic.
Who doesn’t love a heart-warming tale? Now, my favorite category is J/L but too often do I come across cliché-ridden fics with enough mush to melt my face off. I think here you’ve found a good medium. It’s just the right mixture; I’m all for fluff but sometimes it gets a little sickening.
First off, I noticed this one mistake and I couldn’t do this review without pointing it out.
“Alright, but for the sake of my sanity, you better hurry.
Alright is not a word, at all. It should be ‘all right.’ Of course, everyone makes mistakes. =)
Lily looked at the fire, which was framed by several merry Christmas stockings. “How happy you look, little Christmas stockings,” she whispered, “surrounded by all your friends. All of you right here, together forever.”
This may be only of the sweetest things I have ever heard. I like the analogy you’ve set up between the stockings, and presumably, Lily and James. It’s quite touching, the stockings being friends, I mean. *is aware she sounds mad*
Her voice rose slightly and became laced with bitterness. “I bet you’re good friends. I bet none of you would leave for a month and not send any indication of whether or not you’re alive!”
I think my main goal in reviewing is to find something I relate to. This is definitely it. Not only is it hilarious that Lily is ranting at inanimate objects but it’s probably something I would do.
I love the significance of the bells. It’s so meaningful and symbolic.
The characterization of everyone was done very well, too. I especially liked how you characterized Lily. She was obviously very sensitive but you didn’t turn into some hormonal beast. The emotions she expressed were appropriate for this. She did seem a bit hostile at the point of James’ return but I think I would be going crazy too if someone I loved went missing for a month without explanation.
As for the OCs, as minor of a part they played, they were enjoyable. Well, scratch that, Sarah was the only one we met but I liked her.
I felt so awful for James and Lily, I suppose. They’ve both lost important people in their lives. Clearly, it’s hard for Lily to come to terms with this but I think it helps her understand James’ absence and it allows her to forgive him.
One thing I would have liked was for you to expand on detail. All of the dialogue was great, but I would have liked to have a clearer picture of their surroundings. I think what you wrote was brilliant but it would have been more enthralling if there had been more imagery in there.
This was a lovely one-shot and I’m very fond of it having read it. It was simplistic and beautiful.
aaaaaaaawww! this was so sad but so cute! great job!!
Author's Response: Thanks! :)
how sweeeeet :) :') oh great, you made me all teary - but i'm a sucker for this stuff *sniff sniff*
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! :)