Reviews For Metamorphosis
Reviewer: Rislans88
Date: 03/11/08 6:03
Chapter: Metamorphosis

I LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WRITE MOREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Author's Response: Yay! I'm so happy! And I do intend on writing more, either a continuation of this story or an entirely new one (or both, if I start feeling ambitious!). Thank you so, so much for reviewing. :)

Reviewer: Roommate of the Quillster
Date: 02/19/08 22:52
Chapter: Metamorphosis

I must confess that I do love reading missing moments from the books. I especially enjoy them when they’re written so honestly and thorough. This, my friend, is a lovely piece of insight into our dear friend Hermione and the girls’ dormitory that night. Though, I can’t help wonder why Ginny didn’t make an appearance… :) Not that that’s important to your story at all, I just know that it’s a girl thing for friends to get ready together.

But I liked this interpretation of Hermione getting ready alone — a stark contrast against girls like Lavendar and Parvati. It was a nice contrast without mentioning everything Hermione wasn’t feeling.

I also liked the edge you gave Hermione. (I guess to sum up, I enjoyed your Hermione characterization.) Her bitterness toward a certain Ron Weasley would have been slipping into her thoughts on a regular basis, and it was nice to see it written in here.

Other than it being far too short for my personal preferences, I wanted it to last longer, what can I say. Other than that, the only thing I can say is that you jumped point of view a couple of times. For example, you began this story inside Hermione’s head. We heard her think; we were getting the story in first person from her. Then you switched to third person he/she. We were suddenly outsiders observing the scene. Then you jumped back, and without warning jumped again.

Although it worked in your story, I think overall it would have flowed a bit better if you would have stuck either to telling the scene entirely from inside her head in first or third person OR completely as an observer in the third person. If you keep it in the same context, it makes it a bit harder to write sometimes, but it also keeps the reader guessing a little bit more. Something to think about for future one-shots, I suppose.

Other than that, as I said, I enjoyed this piece. It was light and fun, and a wonderful interpretation of a missing moment from an enjoyable Christmas scene. :)


Author's Response: Why, thank you for this lovely, long review! I am so glad that you enjoyed it. I didn't include Ginny getting ready with Hermione, although I considered it, because I thought that Ginny would have been in the third-year-girls' dormitory, and while I'm sure that she could have gone up to see Hermione, I decided to leave her out to make the story a bit easier to portray, I suppose. And thank you for your insight about the point of view jumping that I did; in hindsight, it does seem awkward, although it flowed well enough when I wrote it (ah, but that's true with everything, isn't it? :D ). I definitely will hold on to that bit of advice for my future writing. Anyway, thank you so much for this wonderful review! It's so nice for a newbie to the world of fanfiction, someone like me, to get a detailed, thoughtful review, like this. You really made my day. :)

Reviewer: MagicalMaddie331
Date: 02/02/08 13:30
Chapter: Metamorphosis

This was very original, short, and sweet. I like your characterization, you've done a nice job on this.

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! I love getting feedback, and it's great to know that you enjoyed it.

Reviewer: angel in hell
Date: 02/01/08 21:14
Chapter: Metamorphosis

OMG! really good story! keep up the awesomeness!

Author's Response: Thanks, Kasey! :D I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for reviewing!

Reviewer: moonstonesilver
Date: 01/30/08 16:06
Chapter: Metamorphosis

sure, girl, Christmas is a day for miracles ;D that's true, yes indeedy - oops, do i sound mental? well, that's okay, giving that i am, sort of ;D hic. oops, that hysteria of the disease of delirious delirium of dehydration is getting to me... wait, who just said what? well, anyway, great story, dude. i like it :D

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. :) I'm happy that you liked it! Oh, and a little mental-ness (is that even a word?) is fine with me, seeing as I am also mildly crazy. :D I'm happy that you liked it!

Reviewer: Elissy
Date: 01/30/08 6:59
Chapter: Metamorphosis

Awesome story! Hermione is characterized so flawlessly.
You're a spectacular writer, and I'd love to see more of your work posted. Keep up the amazing work!

Author's Response: Awww! Thank you so much. You guys are going to make me cry! ;) Everyone at Mugglenet has been so very supportive and encouraging--it's been an awesome way to be introduced to the fanfiction world. Thank you for reviewing!

Reviewer: Phoenix13
Date: 01/29/08 21:42
Chapter: Metamorphosis

Oh, you've characterised Hermione perfectly! It's just like her to research all the makeup and haircare products she can. I wonder...do you actually have a "traumatic experience involving a Barbie doll" in mind? Because that would be really interesting to hear...

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm really happy that you think my characterization was "on"; I was very nervous about that part of my story. I don't have a specific experience regarding the Barbie doll to reel off the top of my head, but I am considering writing a one-shot sequel, and if there seems to be enough interest in it, then I'm sure I could come up with something. :) Thank you for reviewing!

Reviewer: dancingcarrot21
Date: 01/29/08 15:00
Chapter: Metamorphosis

This was a cute story. I kind of wish you continued it, because I would have loved to see Hermione's thoughts on Ron, Harry, and Draco's reactions.

But I must point out that some of your paragraphs should be separated into smaller ones.

For example:

"Oh, Merlin, Harry Potter!" she gasped distractedly, collapsing on her four-poster in a heap of hot-pink satin. Hermione looked at her patronizingly. It was just Harry that Parvati was needlessly working herself up over; Hermione knew that he couldn't care less about the metal his date's bracelets were made of. Just Harry. Her smile faded as she recalled the far more formidable identity of her date. She wasn't personally intimidated by him, or anything. She, Hermione Granger, be intimidated by a boy? Ha! It was laughable. But it was nonetheless true that Viktor Krum was a world-famous Quidditch player; admittedly, a rather good-looking Quidditch player. Everyone was expecting his date to be something special; she was sure of it. Her stomach tensed, threatening to regurgitate her lunch, as the reality of what she was about to do hit her with its full force: to enter the Great Hall on his arm, to be put under the scrutiny of the students of three schools of magic, to be known to the world as his date, as his girlfriend! They must be expecting someone quite beautiful, special–one of the Ginnys and Fleurs of the world. And what did he have? Bushy-haired, buck-toothed her! The dim lighting of the library had probably fooled the poor boy as to her appearance. He was in for a nasty surprise, then.

When it should be:

"Oh, Merlin, Harry Potter!" she gasped distractedly, collapsing on her four-poster in a heap of hot-pink satin. Hermione looked at her patronizingly. It was just Harry that Parvati was needlessly working herself up over; Hermione knew that he couldn't care less about the metal his date's bracelets were made of.

Just Harry.

Her smile faded as she recalled the far more formidable identity of her date. She wasn't personally intimidated by him, or anything. She, Hermione Granger, be intimidated by a boy? Ha! It was laughable. But it was nonetheless true that Viktor Krum was a world-famous Quidditch player; admittedly, a rather good-looking Quidditch player. Everyone was expecting his date to be something special; she was sure of it.

Her stomach tensed, threatening to regurgitate her lunch, as the reality of what she was about to do hit her with its full force: to enter the Great Hall on his arm, to be put under the scrutiny of the students of three schools of magic, to be known to the world as his date, as his girlfriend! They must be expecting someone quite beautiful, special–one of the Ginnys and Fleurs of the world. And what did he have? Bushy-haired, buck-toothed her!

The dim lighting of the library had probably fooled the poor boy as to her appearance. He was in for a nasty surprise, then.

Other than the paragraph issue, unless if I'm missing something, this story is perfect. I adored it! ;)

Author's Response: First off, thanks for pointing that out! Formatting has never been my strong point, so I really do appreciate it when someone can give me a heads up in that area. :) I'm so glad that you liked it! Thank you so much for reviewing.

Reviewer: Wolfie Jojo
Date: 01/29/08 10:50
Chapter: Metamorphosis

I'm the first reviewer! Yay! I don't usually like Hermione/Viktor stuff, but this was quite sweet. And is a lot better than work. ^_^

Author's Response: Yessss! And the first to review wins $1,000,000! No, I'm just kidding--but I really do wish that I could give all of my reviewers a gigantic prize. :D I'm so glad that you enjoyed it. Thanks for reviewing!

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