This is a lovely piece. I like the idea of a loved one coming for you at the end.
Really nicely written
awwwwwww! old people love! lol that was so touching!
Aww! I loved it! I made me cry a bit, but then again, what good story doesn't?
omg that is sooo sweet
and happysad if you know what i mean
intersting idea havent read many like this
but that was well --- lovely!
I really liked this. Lol, good way to start. At first I kept wondering why Hermione was alone. Guess I`ve never read a fic in which she was really old. Funny. Well, I thought it was very sad that none of her grandchildren or children were there. A widowed 80 year old woman shouldn`t have to spend Christmas alone. But it worked very well for your story...
I have a few suggestions, just out of preference I guess...
It was Christmas Eve, nearing midnight. She was sitting, just sitting, and thinking, keeping herself warm by the fireside and the old blanket that was draped over her legs.
I think that maybe it would sound better if you divided the 'sitting' and the 'just sitting' with something different than just a comma. I don't know; it just doesn't sound so right. But what do I know, really, maybe that's the only grammatically correct way... I really don't know much about that.
She drew the blanket closer to her and closed her eyes, savoring the scents of Christmas around her.
I'd just suggest another word besides 'scents'. Seems repetitive. Maybe 'aromas'. That sounds pretty.
She could almost lose herself in the negative space between here and there, there, and nowhere.
Just wanted to say that I loved that! Especially the feel of that nowhere at the end.
He obliged and they set off, slowly walking around the house together, arms linked, their bodies falling into each other as though they knew that’s how they were supposed to fit.
Aside from suggesting 'that was how' instead of that's how just to make it sound more elegant, I wanted to say how much I loved that bit. It was so sweet.
Lovely story, Fresca! Best of luck in the challenge.
Mia
This is such a touching story! Really, really well written. Great job.
Way to ruin Christmas for her grandkids.
;)
Well written.
That's really good, sad but not in a depressing way. Very well written.
Wow! What a neat story! I imagine death to be like this -- very peaceful.
