MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: Lola-Louisa (Signed) · Date: 05/31/08 9:28 · For: His Most Faithful Servant
wow, you really get Bellatrix!
I love your story.
keep it up x

Name: HPLoverForever (Signed) · Date: 01/26/08 18:16 · For: His Most Faithful Servant
I like the idea of this story. It gives a good idea of the reasons behind Bellatrix and the others being in prison, along with the cause of Frank and Alice's experience leading to lives spent in St. Mungo's.

One thing I would look into for this piece is the sentence fluency. It could easily be improved, as your sentences are slightly short and basic. More adjectives would make your sentences much more colorful and add a lot more depth to your story.

Another thing is that I can't imagine Rodolphus being the kind, romantic one. I mean, he is a Death Eater after all, and I always felt that their marriage was based on lust rather than love. I can see Bellatrix getting mad over something like that, but I just can't see Rodolphus calling her 'dear' in the first place, let alone having trouble calling her anything but.

I do, however, fully believe that Bellatrix would have reacted in such a fashion when Voldemort disappeared. She seems in denial of the entire situation and clearly doesn't want to believe that her beloved master had died. You did a wonderful job displaying that, and it clearly sets the tone of this story.

Job well done. :)

Author's Response: Thanks for your wonderful suggestions, and I'll go back and look over it soon. But I do have to give you my opinion of Rodolphus. My Rodolphus (as I so possessively refer to him) is in love with his wife. She, however, absolutely hates him. We know nothing about the character of Rodolphus, but we do know that Bellatrix married him only because he was the pureblood she had to marry. She was expected to marry someone like him, so she did, but unwillingly. I highly doubt she ever had the tiniest bit of affection for him be it lust or love. As for his own feelings, that's completely up to our own interpretation. My Rodolphus loves Bella deeply and unconditionally, but he knows that he isn't allowed to show it. But every once in while especially when she is so hurt like in this situation he can't help but slip up, since he is always using those terms internally. Pathetic? Yes, definitely. But ever since I wrote Only Him I can't get this image of him out of my mind. I'm deeply in love with Rodolphus, so I'm sorry for this ranty response. I'm truly glad for your review!

Name: ren_a87 (Signed) · Date: 01/16/08 21:37 · For: His Most Faithful Servant
I really liked this in a morbid way. Anyway, I think a psychology person would make a very interesting case study out of Bellatrix Lestrange and probably her poor husband. Now she is like Scarlett, only she didn't want her husband's love, but she used it against him like a whip like Scarlett used everyone else's, especially Rhett's! Anyway, fantastic job, but that goes without saying anymore, eh?

Author's Response: Poor Rodolphus! I love him so much! *clings* Anyway, Bella is certifiably insane, and I think she would be a psychologist's dream. Bellatrix is a bit more abusive than Scarlett, and less oblivious, since Scarlett really was in love with Rhett but Bella never had any affection for my dear Rodolphus. Thanks for being such a loyal reviewer!

Name: MissyQuill (Signed) · Date: 01/16/08 4:36 · For: His Most Faithful Servant
That was a very intense fic. You chose a really interesting moment to write about.
While you had Bella's character down to near perfect, I think you could have done a better job with the actual words she speaks. *hopes this is making sense* You see, Bella's speech and style of talking is somewhat different. She didn't seem like the cannon Bella in that aspect.
You know what; I'm not the most normal of people so just forgive me for being so mean. =Sammy

Author's Response: No, you're not being me. I'm just not sure I actually understand what you mean. Maybe I should go back and read the books, because I haven't read them for ages! Thanks for the review, and the advice!

Author's Response: me = mean

Name: Indigoenigma (Signed) · Date: 01/15/08 19:13 · For: His Most Faithful Servant
Oh my goodness. That was very well done, dear. I really liked Bella's voice - it seemed very clear and very driven. I found it especially believable that Bella didn't love her husband - was she capable of loving anything other than power? Just as a side note, I think that Bella may have felt just a twinge of remorse for being caught and being sent to Azkaban. Although, I do think that such a feeling wouldn't have lasted all that long - she's so certain that Voldemort will come and save them all.
Anyhow, excellent work!


Author's Response: Well, Bellatrix would have considered any affection for her husband to be the absolute worst thing to do to her beloved Dark Lord. I love Rodolphus, and can't help but feel sorry for him. Perhaps a bit of anger would have been good for Bella, but I wanted the torture to make her realise that Voldemort had to be out there somewhere. Does that make sense? Thanks for the great review!

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