Reviewer: Luna_Lovegood11
Date: 07/28/08 10:22
Chapter: Epic Ephemeral Epilogue

Wow. Such a depressing ending. To a marvelous story, might I add. I would have reviewed this earlier, but I was too lazy to read it when I got the email. It was only when I saw your review for Schmergo's story whilst reading my sister's incredibly noob-ish review did I remember about this story.

Oh, it was hilarious. I was looking over the last chapter to refresh my memory and started cracking up, and my sister, sitting next to me, was looking at me like I was insane.

But then I read the story and sobered up a bit. Not a lot, of course, since this chapter was still ridiculous - in a well-written, awesome way.

So, the point is, awesome job. This was a nice way to end a story. Poor Ron, of course, and the U2 game was a bit weird, and stupid Harry, but... wars can do that to a soul, I suppose.

Anyways, this was awesome. Wonderful job, keep writing. xD

Author's Response:

Greetings Luna!

Thank you for the nice review! Though Voldiekins was run over with great gore and hilarity, not everyone lives happily ever after, unfortunately. Harry is indeed being something of a stubborn idiot, Ron is a complete mess, and on top of that, Hermione’s dead. Not all problems can be solved by throwing a cement mixer at it, I’m afraid.

Did you get the U2 game joke? If you remember from the previous chapter, Benjamin Dover’s chocolate frog card said that he enjoyed U2 and rugby, but the description had the band and the sport switched. The mistake was probably corrected at some point, but the name ‘U2’ for that peculiar Muggle sport with the lemon-shaped ball stuck.

So, aside from the depressing ending, I’m glad you found this last chapter ridiculous and entertaining. At last, there’s a brilliant new use for Gryffindor’s sword! Anyway, thank you for reading and reviewing!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: Sesah
Date: 07/27/08 15:04
Chapter: Out of the Darkness...

ah, that story was great! So will Harry find all the Horcruxes and really truly defeat Moldy Voldy, or what? I want to know! Or is Moldy truly gone and Harry is just being silly?

Author's Response:

Thank you for reviewing, Sesah; I’m glad you liked the story! Concerning your questions, I’m sorry to say that my inadequate answer is that all will be revealed in the sequel, whenever I get around to writing it. Thanks for reading!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: Sesah
Date: 07/27/08 13:15
Chapter: Out of the Darkness...

hehehehe a cement mixer? that was great!

Author's Response:

Indeed it is a cement mixer! Quite an ignoble, fitting end for the most evil dark wizard in history, isn’t it? Thanks for reviewing!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: Leah_Lovegood
Date: 07/26/08 20:47
Chapter: Epic Ephemeral Epilogue

Holy lord...poor, poor Harry. That is disturbing/interesting/sad. Poor Ronald too. Can't wait for the next one! }:)

Author's Response:

I’ve noticed that I ended this story in the exact opposite way it started. In the first chapter, it started off very dark, then BAM! Voldemort gets run over by a cement mixer. The last chapter is the reverse, starting off with humour but ending on a very morose note. With that in mind, I like to classify my story as a comedic tragedy or a tragic comedy – take your pick.

Indeed, there is plenty of pathos for the two survivors of the Trio. Harry Potter saw Hermione murdered in front of him, and Ron has to live the rest of his life as an unredeemed coward. However, many people are still alive who should have died had Voldemort not been defeated, such as Fred, the Lupins, and all the other casualties of the Battle of Hogwarts.

So, by simply running over someone with a cement mixer, I’ve created an entirely different world to explore. The sequel should be interesting!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: Schmerg_The_Impaler
Date: 07/25/08 17:56
Chapter: Epic Ephemeral Epilogue

TIMMMMM! As always, you've managed to write a ridiculously amazing story! And I'm extremely glad that there's going to be a sequel, or I'd have to find you and chase you and tie you to a tree and sing songs from "High School Musical" until you agreed to write a sequel, whimpering as pathetically as Ron at the end of this story.

I was very confused by the beginning of this story... and then I got to the kicker... of COURSE Rita Skeeter wrote this. And I am not being a flattering, simpering fangirl when I say that only you could come up with something this brilliant. I mean, okay, I *AM* a flattering, simpering fangirl, but I'm also entirely honest.

"Tortured thespian" is EXACTLY what Rita would call Harry! And the twisted, Superhero-style Ben in this chapter is brilliant as well. Plus, I love the idea of Voldemort covered in a tire track. Don't tell thedarklord666 that I said that. The funny thing, though (besides this entire story, of course), is that you managed to make the Rita Skeeter part seem EXTREMELY dramatic. I was very engrossed in this epic battle between Ben and Voldemort, even though I already knew what would happen. It would be a pageturner if there were indeed pages to turn.

Your wording is really, really suspiciously good. "Only after the Aurors threatened to summon Benjamin Dover himself did the Death Eaters finally surrender to be welcomed with open arms at Azkaban." I can SO clearly visualize that. The bit about Snape being lovingly Kissed by his Dementor bride is great.

Weirdly, I remember some kids at a party I went to in elementary school playing 'spin the bottle' with a football... or shall I say, U2.

Put on earplugs for the next paragraph...

YESSSSSS! HOBO HARRY! By the way, great job dropping signs before actually giving his name. Your writing is too danged good; it really makes me feel a bit insecure. But did you write this BEFORE I introduced Hobo Jordan? Because if so, THAT'S an exciting Potter family tradition. Harry skewering squirrels on Gryffindor's sword was a ridiculously amazing idea. Or amazingly ridiculous, whichever works better.

Why is Ron still wearing Hogwarts robes? That's really confusing... is this only supposed to be a few months after the Christmas scene? Because I'm not sure how much Harry's hair could have grown in that span of time. I loved the part about Ron being a 'frustratingly good keeper.' But that's because I'm a mad fangirl for Ron.

I can't wait to see deranged hobo Harry in the sequel. The way he kept calling Ron 'Ronald' was strangely hilarious. Actually, that whole exchange reminded me strongly of the youtube video "Hi Max," by Vicious516 (aka Ryan Murphy, my second-favourite youtuber after Neil Cicierega). But that's just me.

I honestly think you're one of the very best writers I've seen on MNFF. Certainly better than the authors of far too many of the books I've been picking up and discarding lately. If those can get published, I know you'll go far in the future.

This is rather extravagant praise, but I'm always really impressed by your writing.

Author's Response:

Schmergo!

WOW. I am a bit overwhelmed by this absolutely smashing review. I’m so glad that you like this story and my writing as much as you do – your words of praise certainly made my day! I guess we are mutual fans of each other’s work, and I have to admit that I am a bit of an obsessive fan of your stories. Whenever you end up publishing a book let me know; I will be sure to buy a copy.

To move on to subjects not having anything to due with avalanches of admiration and floods of flattery, I must say I particularly enjoy how in depth your reviews are, covering anything and everything in a chapter of story. With that in mind, I better stop dithering and get to business!

First of all, I am eternally grateful that you will never end up kidnapping me for the sole purpose of making me write a sequel, under pain of close-harmony singing. Rest assured that I will eventually write Into the Light, continuing the alternate cement mixer universe. I never considered making a sequel or even writing additional chapters when I first had the idea to run Voldemort over, but I decided otherwise once I thought about the long-term consequences for the wizarding world if such absurdity was to intervene.

Now… on to something more jolly! I loved writing the excerpt from Benjamin Dover: The Living Legend – actually, I had fun writing the whole thing, but the Rita Skeeter part especially! I was pretty much laughing the whole time I was typing, making the “duel” so ridiculously dramatic and just plain… well, ridiculous! I also enjoyed transforming Benjamin Dover’s from a dishevelled alcoholic to a noble, dashing knight in shining cement mixer. A living legend, indeed!

I’m also glad you like my “really suspiciously good” wording. I actually find that one of the most enjoyable parts of writing: trying to find creative or just plain weird ways to say simple things. When I was writing this, I had a sudden thought about how lonely Dementors must be, which prompted me to use the wedding metaphor. That just brought up another question that never occurred to me before: are there male and female Dementors? Huh… That’ll be weird, and perhaps a bit disturbing!

I presume you got the U2 joke, right? If you missed it, read Chapter Three very closely. Anyway, that game is what I thought would happen if a bunch of wizarding children tried to play rugby – I’m not too familiar with rules of the sport, so the people of the Harry Potter universe are right there with me!

Speaking of Harry Potter, I did indeed write the Hobo Harry part before I read your first chapter of The Past, so yes – the Potter family has a proud tradition of shutting themselves away from society and feeling sorry for themselves! Your Jordan and my Harry would get along like a house on fire… or a pile of blankets, since they wouldn’t have a house to burn, would they?

To answer your question, the reason why Ron is wearing Hogwarts robes is perfectly simple – he’s at Hogwarts! After the Carrows and Snape were ousted from the school, it was tidied up a bit, reorganised, and reopened for the term after the Christmas holiday. With the Second Voldemort War over quite early, Ron and other students in hiding (like Dean Thomas, for instance) ended up going back to Hogwarts to finish their seventh year. Concerning the length of Harry’s hair, it obviously hasn’t been cut, but it’s definitely not Snape-length. The reason for that little detail is just Ron making weird connections like that in his confused head. The actual reason is that I thought it sounded better with two adjectives rather than one (“long and filthy” versus plain, boring “filthy.”). Anyway, Ron decided to look for Harry during one of the Hogsmeade trips, and lo and behold, he found Harry at the same cave in which Sirius and Hagrid had hid. Great work, Sherlock Ron!

I’m glad you’re looking forward to seeing “deranged hobo Harry” in the sequel. However, I have no idea when I’ll actually write it or even how many chapters it’ll end up being. The problem is that I have such a short attention span when it comes to writing – I start writing one story, but the moment I have a brilliant idea for a different one, I end up writing that one instead. Either that, or I get stuck on a certain part and just switch to a different story to avoid solving the problem altogether. That’s exactly why this chapter is so late: I wrote up to Harry and Ron’s encounter, but then I gave up when I had to write the argument and forgot all about the chapter. I have a bit of an irrational fear of not characterising canon characters completely correctly (hey, that’s some good alliteration there!), so that’s why I usually avoid them.

I suppose that’s it. Once again, thank you for this extraordinary review. I’m a bit sad that this (pretty short) story is finally over, but the cement mixer’s deranged legacy will live on – you can count on that!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: armagod679
Date: 07/25/08 9:59
Chapter: Epic Ephemeral Epilogue

I believe you need psychiatric help... or Harry does... although it doesn't stop you from being a great writer.

Author's Response:

Thank you!

Gib gibber beep! Beep. Wooble gibber I’m going to put on some exploding trousers bbluubbaaarrrggghhh!

My situation is hopeless. I am beyond saving…

Well, not really – I just happen to have a weird imagination. However, Harry could use some counselling… or a big hug. Anyway, thanks for reviewing!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: Schmerg_The_Impaler
Date: 05/06/08 18:54
Chapter: Out of the Darkness...

Two things: It seems that Schmergo’s review page is a good place to put in subtle advertisements for stories, isn’t it?

I also endorsed this story on the forums in the Recommend a Humour Fic section. It's definitely one of my favourites, and it deserves an awful lot of reviews.

And secondly... I just got the obvious joke... Benjamin Dover... Ben Dover, of course. The pun. I can't believe it took me this long to get it.

Author's Response:

Well, hello Schmergo!

rnrn

I never expected to receive more reviews than there are chapters for this story from any one person, so thank you! It wasn’t my intention to draw attention to my stories through your review pages, but considering how many people have been directed to this story by just that, I suppose it’s a legitimate tactic then!

rnrn

Also, I am enthralled by your absolutely lovely recommendation for this story in the beta boards: “And besides, how could someone with a name like Tim the Enchanter write anything but gold?” WOW. To put it simply, I am flattered. Thank you for helping my rather low self-esteem!

rnrn

Well, enough of my boring words of gratitude – Congratulations! You are the first person to notice the pun! I’ve been waiting for someone to tell me that for a long time.

rnrn

Tim the Enchanter

rn

Reviewer: Sainyn Swiftfoot
Date: 05/02/08 3:39
Chapter: The Great Chocolate War of ‘98

I am stunned. Absolutely STUNNED.

How can you come up with this stuff? I loved all the little details, the imagery, the craziness...

In short, I loved this story. It might just be me, but I loved the irony of the last line- how Roy paid so much to get that card, and for winning the bet? A galleon.

You are TALENTED at creating characters. I was laughing all through Roy's paranoia about the people behind him...

If you ever add another chapter to this story, expect a review from me.

Your fan,
BB

Author's Response:

Well, I have no real idea of how I come up with my stories. Rarely do I sit down and think of story ideas; they usually just come to me spontaneously for some reason and then I have to write them down before I forget them. Also, my original idea usually changes when I start actually writing it. Chapter Three of this story was planned as a roughly three thousand word chapter with an additional epilogue of about six hundred words. However, that changed to a chapter of over six thousand words and the epilogue became Chapter Four!

rnrn

And speaking of Chapter Four… expect to see it in at least a month or more, unfortunately. I am currently writing four humour stories, but I can only submit one story in each category at a time; plus there’s the long queue waiting period… [checks calendar]

rnrn

I am glad that you like my writing style, as well as the story itself. I make a point to include lively diction and minute details to give my stories the necessary feel, so that they augment the actual events happening in the story. With characters, I spend little or no time describing them, instead letting their thoughts and dialogue show what kind of people they are. Additionally, I let the leader fill in the character gaps – all of my characters remind me of myself in some ways, and I find that a bit scary sometimes!

rnrn

Of course, I wrote the entire chapter just to lead up to that ironic ending. I’m pleased that you liked it! Also, thank you for reviewing this entire story!

rn rn

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: Sainyn Swiftfoot
Date: 05/02/08 3:16
Chapter: My Goodness My Guiness!

My greetings to you, Tim the Enchanter.

I too, discovered you off Schmergo's review page, and I am truly amazed by your sense of humour. Although I rather doubt the wizards exposing magic to a muggle, I enjoyed reading all of the letters to Ben.

You have a wonderfull original character there, I am in a hurry to read the third chapter.

My goodness my Guinness! I am such a fan of your humour that I have taken to reading all of your author responses- I know, I am freaky.

Thank you,
Sainyn

Author's Response:

Salutations, Sainyn Swiftfoot Reader-Person Sir!

rnrn

Thank you for going through the trouble of reviewing each chapter. It seems that Schmergo’s review page is a good place to put in subtle advertisements for stories, isn’t it? A pure Slytherin technique if you ask me!

rnrn

I do appreciate the fact that you enjoy my sense of humour! Please note, however, that it is only safe in small doses! Spiffing! Anyway… I made the Benjamin Dover’s fan-mail blatantly magical because I figured that all the witches and wizards would be too busy celebrating Voldemort’s defeat to care about magical secrecy. Also, ignorance is a large factor – for instance, Ron didn’t know that Muggle pictures were motionless until Harry told him in Phil’s Stone, so I find it likely that other magical persons would also be unaware of that fact, among others.

rnrn

I’m glad you like my OC, Ben – I had great fun writing him. The vast majority of all characters in my stories are my own original characters; I like making up my own characters, plus I don’t have to worry about OOC-ness!

rnrn

Once again, thank you for reviewing. I hope all of my author’s responses are thoroughly entertaining!

rnrn

Tim the Enchanter

rn

Reviewer: Sainyn Swiftfoot
Date: 05/02/08 2:57
Chapter: Out of the Darkness...

Awe. Some.

What a wonderful end for Voldykins- a road accident! I love the way you write grandiosely, preparing teh reader for something great, heroic... and then, a cement mixer. Hilarious!

*starts to read chapter 2*

~BB

Author's Response:

Wow. Thank you very much for reviewing! Nobody’s ever called my writing “grandiose” before, so thank you! I am flattered.

rnrn

Tim the Enchanter

rnrn

P.S. I’m sorry about the ugly “rn” tags. They make me mad!

rn

Reviewer: Flobberworm93
Date: 04/26/08 16:49
Chapter: Out of the Darkness...

suspenseful, fantastically written, love the last line! off to read chapter 2 . . .

Author's Response:

Thank you for reviewing! Funnily enough, Chapter One was rejected the first time I submitted it, partly because of that last line. The rejection had nothing to do with the profanity, instead being a mundane matter of having too many exclamation points!!! - like this!!!

rnrn

Tim the Enchanter

rn

Reviewer: Luna_Lovegood11
Date: 04/19/08 11:18
Chapter: The Great Chocolate War of ‘98

Oh. My. Godric.
This was hilarious.
Roy is absolutely insane.
And the irony at the end of this chapter was absolutely awesome-possum!
I loved it!
Please update soon and keep writing!:)

~Rory~

Author's Response:

Thank you for reviewing my story… yet again! You can tell I really enjoyed myself when writing this chapter - especially the parts when Roy’s paranoia strips him of his sanity. I really have to admire Roy’s wife Rachel, putting up with him through his spell of advanced lunacy and then managing to slap him back into reality.

rnrn

I would update soon if I was done with Chapter Four. I’m awfully sorry, but I’ve been writing it for several weeks, and it still isn’t finished. The problem is that I’m just trying to write too many things at the same time; I’m currently writing five different stories at the moment, as well as drawing pictures for Schmergo’s Potter’s Pentagon series.

rnrn

Anyways, thank you again for reviewing each and every chapter so far! I’m glad you like the story!

rnrn

Tim the Enchanter

rn

Reviewer: Luna_Lovegood11
Date: 04/19/08 10:57
Chapter: My Goodness My Guiness!

My Goodness My Guinness! Oh dear! That was hilarious! I envy your ability to have such entertaining dreams. My best one so far was being Harry Potter/Hannah Montana/Myself and hiding out in a forest yet having to get to my concert. I ended up dying.

But ANYWAYS, great chapter! This story is so notrandomly funny that it's very entertaining. Awesome-possum job, keep writing!

~Rory~

Author's Response:

I am easily amused, and many of my story ideas come from dreams. And speaking of dreams, I had a very strange one a few months ago…

rnrn

The Communist Party of the People’s Republic of China decided to at last institute universal, popular elections for the position of president. In China, the president (currently Hu Jintao) is elected only by the National People’s Congress, but in the dream, ordinary Chinese people suddenly got to vote. When the day of the election finally came, the people voted for… Barrack Obama!

rnrn

This was one of the strangest dreams I ever had, and it came out of nowhere. My alarm clock went off before I could see what happened next. Pity. Then I had another dream about Pope Benedict XVI the other day… which I won’t talk about.

rnrn

Anyway, thank you for reviewing again!

rnrn

Tim the Enchanter

rn

Reviewer: Luna_Lovegood11
Date: 04/19/08 10:46
Chapter: Out of the Darkness...

Hahaha, for a while I was wondering how on earth this would be a humor fic, but now I see.

I discovered you off of Schmergo's review page for Potter's Pentagon, and decided to check your stories out. Now I see that decision was worth it.
Great story! Keep writing :)

Author's Response:

Hello, reviewer hominid with the username Luna_Lovegood11!

rnrn

I’m very glad you discovered my stories, especially from Schmerg_The_Impaler’s review page – I presume we are both admirers of her work.

rnrn

But I digress. I’m glad I surprised you at the end of the chapter; after all, that’s what I was aiming for. Thank you for reading, leaving a review, and for liking my story so much!

rnrn

Tim the Enchanter

rn

Reviewer: Leah_Lovegood
Date: 04/19/08 10:06
Chapter: Out of the Darkness...

I may have heard of it somewhere...possibly :) I

Author's Response:

If you haven’t seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I’d highly recommend that you do. Tim the Enchanter (the Scottish-accented wizard with the ram’s horns on his head) is played by John Cleese, and you meet him right before the Killer Rabbit scene.

rnrn

Tim the Enchanter

rn

Reviewer: Schmerg_The_Impaler
Date: 04/19/08 6:51
Chapter: The Great Chocolate War of ‘98

As always, Tim, this is WRITING GOLD. I'm utterly irritated that this only has nine reviews, but there you go. You know what I like best about your writing? The dialogue. It's very, very realistic... one thing I don't like about a lot of fanfiction is, the people in it don't talk like real people. I'm guilty of that myself in a lot of cases. Bleeeh.

I like the new monument in the Ministry... maybe because the new motto on it fits so well AND it is my state motto, which is kind of cool. Your skills of description are uncannily good, and I love the little details, like the Benjamin Dover action figure.

On a more contemplative level, it's nice to see wizards admiring Muggles... makes me feel less inadequate, that's for sure.

Oh, there's a slight typo right here, if I'm not mistaken: Roy walked right past (hurriedly answering Danny’s screams of “Daddy!”) and went strait to the bedroom. I think that should be 'straight,' but I shouldn't talk because I am the Queen of Typos, as well as the Queen of Lunacy.

I love how intensely random you can get sometimes: Either that, or she was a very slow reader, like a sloth or a banana. Roy's paranoia is great, and I just can't get over how ridiculously good this is. You also seem to like the “BBLUUBBAAARRRGGGHHH!” sound effect, which is always a good thing.

Maybe this is because I'm a girl, but I like the character of Rachel a lot. And I like Frank as well, especially how he was like, "Er, bad timing," when he came into the ward. But my ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE THING is Ben defeating Bellatrix Lestrange with his toothbrush. That's exactly the kind of arbitrary throwaway line JK Rowling would use, except funnier.

And then, the absolute kicker... the fact that the bet was for a Galleon... I'm just dumbfounded by how good this story is, and I really like the way you transferred from Ben over to the wizarding world for this chapter, giving another perspective.

I can't wait to read more of your writing! Cheers!

PS. I couldn't help but laugh a little when I saw that Ben was called The Liberator because it makes me think of Simon Bolivar glaring angrily at the card and going, "WAIT, THAT'S ME! GIT!" But then, I'm strange.

Author's Response:

Greetings, Schmergo!

rnrn

Thank you thank you thank you for this lovely review! I am very pleased that you like my story so much!

rnrn

Also, thank you for your input concerning my writing style; I do find it helpful when I have more than one opinion on it, which just happens to be my own. You’ve probably noticed that I spend very little time describing my characters – all you know is that Rachel is blonde and Frank has bushy black eyebrows, and I don’t give a single detail about Roy’s appearance. I admit that it is a fault of my writing that I can’t seem to integrate descriptions in the story, or that I forget about them altogether!

rnrn

As you have observed, I instead use dialogue to imply what kind of people my characters are, rather than just saying it. I could easily say “Roy is crazy,” but instead I make the actual character say something that suggests exactly that, like “BBLUUBBAAARRRGGGHHH!” Same thing applies for their thoughts, which could be even more revealing than their spoken words. Concerning my dialogue, I write them to be as realistic as possible – to sound like real people. However, I think my conversations could be a lot longer and filled with digressions to more realistically reflect actual conversations, but that would make many of my stories sheer dialogue, which I don’t want to do.

rnrn

I could go on and on, discussing how I describe objects, action, and my attention to little details, but for your sanity, I’ll refrain from doing so. Anyway, moving on…

rnrn

“Sic Semper Tyrannis” is my all-time favourite Latin phrase (with “Alea Iacta Est” a close second). It is what Brutus said as he stabbed Julius Caesar and John Wilkes Booth when he shot Abraham Lincoln. I picked this phrase as the motto on the new monument because it fits into the story so well… plus, it’s just fun to say at the top of your lungs! SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!

rnrn

And speaking of this Latin phrase, I have been to Old Dominion (correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe that’s the nickname) once before, about four to five years ago. It really was quite a beautiful place, with pretty clouds, trees, etcetera, I rest my case. But then again, I probably only visited the nice places. One thing I didn’t like, however, was the humidity. Eugh…

rnrn

On another note, thank you for spotting the typo; I’m surprised that I never noticed it before. On a totally unrelated note, the “BBLUUBBAAARRRGGGHHH!” sound was something… come to think of it, I have no idea how I came up with it! However, since I like it so much, you’ll find it recurring in some of the other stories, just like cement mixers and tooth brushes. And speaking of tooth brushes, Benjamin Dover stuck his toothbrush through the eyehole of Bellatrix’s Death Eater mask – that’s how I imagine the duel to end, but since I give no details of it in the story, you can come up with your own conclusions!

rnrn

And now for the punch line… I wrote the entire chapter to simply lead up to that last joke. I did the same thing with Chapter One, and expect to see more stories and chapters with that kind of build-up-for-one-joke-at-the-end in the future. By the way, I too think that Simón Bolívar would be bloody annoyed, but he is frankly too dead to care. Speaking of “The Liberator,” here’s a thoroughly useless song about him that my Dad taught me:

rn) Simón Bolívar nació en Caracas
rn) en un potrero con siete vacas,rn
rn) durmiendo en hamacas
rn) y tocando las maracas
rnrn

I’m pretty sure I horribly mangled the above song, but it means “Simón Bolívar was born in Caracas in a pasture with seven cows, sleeping in a hammock and playing the maracas.”

rnrn

In your Author’s Response to my last review of Potter’s Pentagon, you expressed interest in my story Yelling Yourself Yellow With Yetis. I should tell you now that it may not be your cup of tea, since it is hot instead of iced. The story is not as funny as the title suggests: the first chapter is almost devoid of humour, but the second chapter introduces plenty of insane characters. Stylistically, Yelling Yourself Yellow With Yetis is quite similar to “Obliviate!”, though it is presented from the perspectives of many Muggles and wizards instead of just one person. Expect to see Chapter One of Yelling Yourself Yellow With Yetis within the next few weeks if it is approved.

rnrn

This is a long Author’s Response. I think I should stop writing now-

rnrn

But before I do, I’d like to thank you once again for reviewing my story. THANK YOU! You can tell I like reviews…

rnrn

Tim the Enchanter

rnrn

P.S. I’m sorry about the “rn” tags. They annoy me too.rn

Reviewer: Leah_Lovegood
Date: 04/17/08 17:00
Chapter: The Great Chocolate War of ‘98

OH...MY...GOD...you have a strange, strange, mind...love ur penname!

Author's Response:

Why, thank you! I would have to agree with you – I am quite mad, and my friends tend to think so too. Do you by any chance like Monty Python and the Holy Grail? That’s where I got my username from.

rnrn

Thanks for reviewing. Cheers!

rnrn

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: SeverusSempra
Date: 02/18/08 23:48
Chapter: Out of the Darkness...

Just read your second chapter-- it's very funny, but even after reading the first one for the second time, I'm in tears laughing at it. :) I love how you really build up the mood, with terrific language and imagery, and just as the reader is prepared for some more angst and drama, the great Voldemort gets run over by a cement mixer. I think the part at which I totally lost it was when Ben steps out of the vehicle, throws down the company hat (nice touch) and says something completely mundane. :)

Author's Response: I’d write a very long author’s response for this review, but frankly, you’ve already said what needs to be said. At any rate, I’m happy that you enjoyed this rather mad but eloquent (?) story of mine, and even happier that you took the time out of your busy day to leave a review. Thank you.

You’ve probably noticed that I had a lot of fun writing this story…

By the way, I considered making Ben’s “completely mundane” exclamation the 1st chapter’s title, but that wasn’t possible for obvious reasons!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: Pottergirl
Date: 02/18/08 18:21
Chapter: My Goodness My Guiness!

wowza!!!! I still cannot believe you did that!!! Why kill Hermione? But it did set the mood....and beggars can't be choosers....and you rock!!! I LUV THIS STORY!!!!! 10/10 what happens next? TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

Author's Response: Yay! I love reviews! Thank you very much!

Anyway, you’re not the first person to express dismay at Hermione’s demise, and I am sorry to admit that I only did so to create the right mood. However, Hermione’s death is the focus of the this story’s sequel, but please understand that the (unnamed) sequel will have very little humour in it.

Now, what happens next? Well, Voldemort got run over and the Wizarding World is saved, but that’s all I’ll tell you. Sorry!

Tim the Enchanter

Reviewer: Pottergirl
Date: 02/18/08 18:14
Chapter: My Goodness My Guiness!

wow!!! that was actually interesting!!

"Ding Dong, Lord Voldy's Dead, Tra la la, la la la la!!!" 10/10

Author's Response: Yes, Lord Voldiekins is dead! Not even the most feared dark wizard in history could withstand a 20 tonne cement truck's awesome wrath!

Tim the Enchanter

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