awesome poem. I definitely think you'll place on the forums, even though that's the modified version. But about this one.
What I like the most is the way it flows. With the syllable constraints and all, and poem like this might become disjointed to fit the restraints, but yours isn't and it's just...awesome. I love the repetition of 'gently and loudly' and 'down, down, down', as well.
I do like this version better. The ending is great, honestly. I like the way 'down, down' fit on the second-to-last line and how this ends with the toast. Great job.
Author's Response: *blush* Coming from a poet like you, Kate, this means all the more to me. Thanks. -Stubby
You changed it! But, I still love this poem!!! Simply fantastic! I think it should still be able to win that challenge. It's way better than mine, yours has meaning and feeling to it. The first time I read it on the forum, I hadn't the slightest clue that it was about Peter. I thought that maybe it was about James or even Sirius (even though, everyone thought he was guilty at the time...Remus could have been toasting to old times...)
Author's Response: Yeah, I did. Thanks! You know, I suppose I did make it too vague. Perhaps I should have been a little clearer there. The one hint I did drop was this: 'A glass is raised to no one, particularly/(18) not one one-time friend.' *cough-Sirius-cough* But, yerp, I probably should have been clearer. Ah, yours was good- and it kept the rules! *rolleyes* Thanks for the review! -Stubby
I LOVE THIS POEM.
The numbers . . . where the lines break . . . the overall tone . . . amazing, Stubby. Simply amazing.
Though to be honest, I wasn't sure who it was until you told me. But I'm generally st00pid, so. . . .
Keep up the SPLENDIFOROUSLY AMAZING work!
Author's Response: I LOVE GETTING REVIEWS. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I might say the same.... -Stubby