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Name: I lovesmesomeHarry (Signed) · Date: 09/15/08 3:47 · For: Hostages
omg this story is fantastic!!1 wow! update soon! please!!!

Name: R_Ravenclaw (Signed) · Date: 09/14/08 20:41 · For: The Sorting
One word to describe this chapter: AMAZING.

I won't go into detail about the last chapter, because I think it would have merely been a long-winded description of how refreshing I find your characters. Suffice it to say that I have no complaints about anything, and I found the pact a lovely concept. :]

Now onto this chapter, which I have to admit was one of the most entertaining I've ever read.

Kai grinned. “Did you know during the last Triwizard Tournament, almost fifteen years ago, I guess, part of it was down there? I know, 'cause my sister was tied to a rock underwater, with a spell cast on her so she wouldn't drown, and the champion had to.... had to...” His voice trailed off as he looked at Dewey.

“Oh,” he said.

He'd never felt more stupid

I just feel so bad for the two of them, and yet I think they have such a great potential as best friends. I think every one of your four main characters has such a great basis with the War, and what it means to move past it.

Teddy glanced sideways, at Violet, who was behaving as if she hadn't heard.

“Why don't you stow it?” he snapped over his shoulder. “You could wind up in Slytherin, for all you know!”

The boy he was addressing stared at him, then sneered. “I'd rather drink poison!”

I really, really like how you show that these children are still very biased against Slytherin. Of course this is going to become crucial to the plot, most likely, right? The biases of the Houses? Anyway, I really think this was a great way to show it — through such young children, who honestly shouldn't feel this way. I think it's excellent that this fic is going to be about prejudice at least in part; it makes me eager to see what happens later. Because personally Slytherin has always been my favourite house. :]

But of course I thought the best part of the chapter was the Sorting. I was very proud of myself because I knew what was happening the moment the Sorting Hat refused to speak, which is weird because it wasn't the least bit obvious… it was actually incredibly original.

…make peace else
you'll hear no more from me!
That's right! No more will I sort you;
this time will be the last!
You may have thought I've got no choice
but you thought wrong, alas!
And just to make my point,
here's the most pointed part of my song...
Some of you, I just sent
somewhere you don't belong!”

*dies* Can I applaud for you? Loudly? Because, honestly, I love this. It's just so — PERFECT. It's so bold of you to do, and it makes it seem like a lot's riding on these four kids, doesn't it? They have to solve everything.

Which makes me wonder what would happen without the Sorting Hat to Sort everyone. Hm, this is turning out to be quite mysterious…

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your comments! I'm glad that you are enjoying the story so much. I don't normally reply to every review, but you wrote such lovely, lengthy ones, I felt obliged to express my appreciation. (Don't worry, I won't expect one like that for every chapter... unless you really want to. ;) )

Name: R_Ravenclaw (Signed) · Date: 09/14/08 20:14 · For: Platform Nine and Three-Quarters
Honestly, as a general rule I cannot tolerate next-gen fics, but I believe yours may have proven me wrong.

Your description is strong without ever becoming long-winded or boring. It only furthers the story in an interesting manner, something I have a tendency to find difficult. I think this first chapter is especially good in that respect.

I like that you start off with the familiar character of Teddy Lupin. At first it made me think that this was just going to be another generic next-gen fic, but let me just say again how wrong I was.

One thing I found especially interesting was how you gave Cho and Cedric younger brothers. It seems a bit unusual and maybe even a touch unbelievable (especially since I was always under the impression that Cedric's parents were older), but honestly I've come to like it. It definitely adds a layer of interest.

Your characterisation is perfect, even in this first chapter. I love that every character has something that's pushing them to be in one House over the others, even though each of them don't truly think they belong there. I've already read up to chapter three, but at the time I was reading this it definitely made me wonder what was going to happen.

This line, I loved:

“Even as true as him?” Dewey wondered, but he didn't say that aloud.

I think of all of the characters Violet is my favourite. There's something about her that's so mysterious and elusive, and yet totally interesting. Of all the characters, I think she has the most interesting back-story. So she's the illegitimate child of Pansy and Draco, conceived during their seventh year? Interesting — very interesting.

I just… really love the way each character respects their parents but still has their own personality. This, to me, is the thing I look for most in next-gen fics, because most of them make it seem like each of the children is just a mini-version of their parents, which to me is completely ridiculous, because no one is exactly like their parents.

Sorry for the mini-rant. >.> Just trust me when I say that to have me tell you that I love your next-gen fic is pretty much the highest compliment a fic can get. :]

Hm, one last thing before I leave: I love how bold you're being. You're doing things that haven't been done before, without going outside the range of possibility. I really respect that, and I truly believe that you have the makings of a top-rate fic here. I honestly (and can I again just marvel at hearing myself say this about a next-gen fic?) cannot wait to read the rest. :]


Name: maya potter (Signed) · Date: 09/12/08 12:52 · For: Hostages
AMAZING .... just amazing
the best story i ever read

Name: primagirl89 (Signed) · Date: 09/07/08 21:21 · For: Hostages
WOW!!! What a chapter! I wish Alduin didn't happen but I guess th seriousness and danger needed to be shown. Man Teddy sure was lucky.

Name: ahattab33 (Signed) · Date: 09/07/08 12:44 · For: Hostages
Oh. My. Gosh. What an intense chapter. I was stunned when he shot Alduin...wow. Great story, can't wait for the next update!

Name: I lovesmesomeHarry (Signed) · Date: 09/07/08 7:43 · For: The War Season
amazing story! rarely does one find a story this good!

Name: I lovesmesomeHarry (Signed) · Date: 09/07/08 5:04 · For: The Sorting
oooo I am intrigued! I'll read more later, but it looks like a favorite!

Name: Wolfs_Scream (Signed) · Date: 09/06/08 20:13 · For: Hostages
Rather observant of Dewey to recognize a goblin -- granted, the previous experience with Slipfang was likely particularly memorable, but isn't it a bit unusual for a wizard to recognize a given goblin? Interesting.

The use of Muggle firearms (by the goblins) is curious.

Uh... yeah -- a bike isn't the easiest of devices for negotiating stairs. :-}

Also of potential interest: that Hagrid (again) has (well, had) a wand.

Ah, clever "plan" that Teddy had, there. :-}

Yes, Teddy was incredibly lucky. So far.

Well done.

Name: bigtimer (Signed) · Date: 09/06/08 17:10 · For: Hostages
best one ever, what is going to happen the ickly goblins. cna't wait to see

Name: rayasunshine (Signed) · Date: 09/06/08 16:51 · For: Hostages
I love the chapter!
It was pretty clever, what he did!
Is Alduin dead???
They're only eleven, that's so mean!!

Name: rosemerta (Signed) · Date: 09/06/08 16:34 · For: Hostages
Oh no I hope Alduin doesnt die! Wow this is very dramatic. I cant believe there is another war at Hogwarts . . . I mean you had been alluding to it but I didnt think it would come so soon. I wonder where they took Dewey and the other Hufflepuffs? Unlike one of your other reviewers, I dont at all believe they were also killed. OoOo what a turn of events .....

Name: crystalphoenix (Signed) · Date: 09/06/08 15:03 · For: Hostages
wow. I'm surprised the house elves sided w/ the goblins. did they truly switch sides? i bet, if they did, that not all of them agreed- there are probably still some that would help the students. but they might have been subdued in some other way, then, to prevent them from giving the goblins away. Does metamorphmaging work that way? would teddy really be able to change his appearance to that of a goblin? it doesn't seem like it would work between species. but this is a really interesting turn of events! i wonder what violet and dewey will do?

Author's Response:

Well, Tonks was able to give herself a pig-snout. It's not clear how far a Metamorphmagus can transform himself or herself, but since goblins aren't all that far from humans in appearance, I think it's probably feasible. (Teddy has already made himself look like Professor Flitwick, who supposedly has goblin blood.)

As for the house-elves, you'll have to read the next chapter to find out!

Name: Carma Godsun (Signed) · Date: 09/06/08 14:35 · For: Hostages
omg omg omg omg omg. alduin!! i cried and i didnt even like him!! im going to go curl up on my bed in a big ball of sadness. and while i was reading, after he died, i was like, what happens if womeone dies? do they disappear off the map? and then like three paragraphs later dewey and co. disappear and im all "AHHHHH!" so dont kill any more good people, i beg of you. :(

Name: Carma Godsun (Signed) · Date: 09/06/08 14:35 · For: Hostages
omg omg omg omg omg. alduin!! i cried and i didnt even like him!! im going to go curl up on my bed in a big ball of sadness. and while i was reading, after he died, i was like, what happens if womeone dies? do they disappear off the map? and then like three paragraphs later dewey and co. disappear and im all "AHHHHH!" so dont kill any more good people, i beg of you. :(

Name: Wolfs_Scream (Signed) · Date: 09/03/08 0:21 · For: When the War Came to Hogwarts
Excellent -- especially the interaction between Luna & Violet. Nice cliffhanger, too.... :-}

Yeah, I can understand how Ginny would be particularly resentful of Pansy's actions.

Name: rosemerta (Signed) · Date: 08/31/08 19:09 · For: When the War Came to Hogwarts
Oh no, Hogwarts is under attack yet again!

Firstly I wanted to tell you using Luna and the adults' conversation to tell Violet about her parents, from two perspectives, is brilliant! From the eavesdropping, she heard what people really thought of her parents and understood the shame or regret they may feel. From Luna, she gets Luna's unfalteringly fair judgement of people and sympathy and the understanding voice she needed to hear.

I'm scared for the Hogwarts occupants! I hope you didn't let someone else get seriously hurt! *YIKES*

Name: sylviamirror (Signed) · Date: 08/31/08 8:53 · For: Platform Nine and Three-Quarters
I love the characterization of Luna! can't wait to find out what happens next..

Name: beaternumber1 (Signed) · Date: 08/30/08 22:47 · For: When the War Came to Hogwarts
AHHH how could you stop there! Anyway, congratulations on your amazing story! I really enjoy reading it, there is a new twist in every chapter. I definently like Violet but i think that Kai is my favorite character, and you don't really hear all that much about Dewey. Teddy is a really good character but i always forget that he is Remus's and Tonks' son. I keep thinking he's Harry's. But anyway, congrats again! I can't wait for the next chapter.


Name: Toptoptop123 (Signed) · Date: 08/30/08 18:29 · For: When the War Came to Hogwarts
Wooooow.... quite the twist there.

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