This chapter was a tear jerker. I can feel the story coming to an end, but hope you are considerring a Year 2 fic. :-) Thanks for all the time and creativity you have put into this story.
The only problem I have in this marvelously suspenceful story is the backstory on house elves. Considering that Dobby transported Luna and Olivander to a place he's never been before and then transported Harry, Ron, and Hermione with a knife in him, your house elves are a bit wimpy. I understand it's needed for plot purposes but it seems off canon. A better explanation is needed.
As I mentioned to another reviewer who pointed this out, I kind of forgot Dobby's feat when I wrote this. :(
My ex-post-facto justification is that Dobby was an exceptional elf, who had had more practice doing things like that as he wandered around getting used to being a free elf, and that his passengers were adult or nearly adult wizards capable of Apparating themselves, so they helped a little.
That might not be a completely satisfying explanation, but it will have to do.
um, wow. that was intense.
but good lol
poor chloe :-(
Alduin saved Teddy because his father killed Teddy's father... I like that part. Its unfortunate however that because Alduin stayed behind as a ghost, that means a spirit with unfinished business. One who wants to linger and not move one. I hope that by saving Teddy, he will now move on in peace, for he was an innocent boy anyhow, not responsible for his father's actions.
Wow, quick update!
I'm so sad this story seems to be coming to its conclusion...what a blessing and curse for Chloe but I'm glad she's still alive! Do we get to see her at some point before the end of the story? Are you planning on writing a sequel? I should probably wait to ask that question until I see how this ends...
Oh, my goodness, this could not get any better. It's exciting and heart-wrenching and your characters are so very well-drawn.
I just have one complaint, though: what happened to Professor Llewellyn? We never heard exactly what happened to her in her office and it seems like she should have reappeared by now, one way or the other.
Well! *That* was rather dramatic...!
And I notice that you don't state precisely what happened to Slipfang; somehow, I expect that there's a fairly good reason for that. :-}
Oh man, when Harry yelled out Teddy's name and descended on his broom, there was a little person inside my head going "Yes!" and jumping up yelling "Harry's come to save the day!"
I wrote that before I made it to the end. And then I cried.
There have only been a few stories I have been so religiously waiting for an update.
*cries* OH NO. Is Chloe really going to die? I really like her now.. That was a good chapter. Very fast paced and action packed. It moved much faster than Im used to in your fic but it was fitting.
This has to be one of the best HP adventure fanfics I have ever read. Your characters are so 3 dimensional. You feel like you know them. And the plot is phenominal. Really well thought out and developed. Can't wait to read more!
*forgot a few things* Oh yea, and I completely agree and think its BRILLIANT the part you wrote about Ginny. I also love Ron's response to Ophilia, its a typical Ron-esque crack. Also loving his comment about his wife getting behind the cause of reclassifying acromantulas! LoL.
wow.. alduin helped save them. i think thats a great touch. i thought he would become just a forgotten victim. im glad you brought him back, so that he didnt die in vain. good job. im also glad malfoy is portrayed as a loving father and that violet is capable of tender emotions. i love that she is so stoic because she takes after her father.
You are an awesome writer, keeping the reader's breath from chapter to chapter.
I do have two questions: house elves repeatedly stress how they cannot Aparate with children, but in Deathly Hallows, Doby did that with a three adults, including a goblin, and came back to take the trio. Why are these house elves different?
Second question: I wonder what happened to the Sorting Hat after the explosives went off. In fact, I wonder why the Sorting Hat didn't allow them to take Gryffindor's Sword while Slipfang was trying to attack them, right before the first explosion.
The honest answer is that I forgot about Dobby doing that when I wrote this. ;) Let us assume that most house-elves have never Apparated with others, and may not even know they can. Dobby was an exceptional house-elf, and he probably had a little help from his adult wizard passengers as well.
The Sorting Hat was brought back to the castle with Dewey in Chapter 27.
Teddy's been exceptionally lucky so far.... :-}
And yeah, I can just imagine Ginny's reaction were Ophelia to try pulling her "flirting" stunt on Harry in Ginny's presence. Not likely a pretty sight, that. :-}
That would seem to be an "oops!" moment....
So sad that the Random Alduin Kid had to die...
Oh my goodness, each chapter is better than the last!! I love that they are so long...that's kind of a random comment, but there you go.
I really enjoy reading the scenes with the adults, and this chapter featured them a lot. I loved the part where Ron told Ophelia to watch out for Ginny...
Poor Alduin! I can't believe he choose to be a ghost! But I'm so glad he's helping! And I'm SO glad Teddy finally got out...I doubt he's going to rest, though, until the rest of the students are out. Harry would have to physically restrain him. And I hope Chloe and the others are okay...
This is the story I am most looking forward to the update...keep up the excellent terrific work!!
Figure Mirlte will be happy, right?
The more I read, The more Rowlingesque your writing becomes. I mean, Alduin coming back as a ghost to help his yearmates... How did you came up with such a BRILLIANT idea!?
Teddy's spur of the moment plan was rather occurent. It's to be congratulated. As it is the highly skilled way in which you described everyone's feeling, thoughts and sensations thoughout the chapter.
I found the exchange between Violet and Draco heartbreaking. The rigid maners, the ASKING for permission to hug her... just too perfect, too cannon-like. And Draco showing up with potions to wake everyone up, that's something perhaps Dumbledore would have thought about. And obviously, our Slytherin Prince, too.
I guess you'll get tired of hearing this (I am feeling a bit monotonous, after all) but with each chapter I get the impression you can't possibly write something more awesome... Then I read the next update, and I learn how completely mistaken I was!!
I do hope you keep doing that!!!!
- C -
Oh I hope Alduin isn't a ghost forever!! I missed when the Slytherin common room was flood, what chapter was that in??
Stephen White did that in chapter 25 ("Goblins and Elves"). Thanks for the review!
i love how teddy is all brave like harry and remus, well written great story, keep up the good work.