that was ..wow! words simply fail me. All i can say is your an amazing writer and that was beautifully written and brilliant and so dark. I loved it!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really happy that you like it!

I really like this poem. The imagery is really amazing and rather kind of "seductive." Especially, I thought,
"Legs so smooth and long
were clearly never meant to
tempt me to

oh! heavenly ecstasy!

stroke them like
the surface of the smoothest marble statue.
They were meant for others
surely."

I loved that part of the triad. One thing that I thought was off however, was the switch from the two talking to "TALKING." First, he's talking about suicide, then--??? The stanzas that you have in between are all right at sort of easing into the new thought, but they could be better in my humble opinion. *is embarrassed* The last stanza is my favorite!!!

"A touch here, a kiss there
dreams go beyond words
we lie together
my darkened Lily and I."
That just blew me away when I read it! I think that this is a great poem and overall I think it deserves five stars!


Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! I agree that the change is rather sudden, but it had to be done! Thanks!