I actually left a review on this fic a long time ago, but I 've just reread it and want to leave a better review because this piece deserves it. This one-shot is simply lovely; it really is one of the best fanfictions I've read. The idea behind it is wonderful, as is the writing. It flows very well- it's not too short or too long, and you express Lily's thoughts and emotions clearly and beautifully. Both her and James' characterization was spot-on; I especially liked the line where Lily talks about James "climbing up a tree before I know what he's doing". It's just such a James-ish thing to do :) The love and happiness that both Lily and James feel is clear throughout the story, but knowing that they ended up having such a short time together makes it sweetly sad and poignant.
Anyways...I'll stop rambling on about how much I love this story now, but I just wanted to let you know that it really is one of my favorites, and you definitely have talent.
"The air is sweeter for his breathing it, the sky clearer for him beneath it, love purer for his feeling it."
You know what? I think you ARE Jane Austen. And I love that you referenced Greek mythology. And I'm sorry for commenting on all your stories and probably sounding vaguely insane. But you are lovely.
Author's Response: Not insane at all; I very much appreciate it! I'm so glad you liked this story...I'm kind of partial to it myself :)
I can't find the right words to tell you how much I love this story (and that's saying something coming from me! :-) ) ! It's well written, poetic, sweet... it's a great story. You're a wonderful author!
i'm gna cry it's so beutaful
Oh... this was beautiful. I love all of your James/Lily stories.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! This is my favorite of my stories, I think--so I'm so glad you liked it. Thank you for all your reviews!
That was a.m.a.z.i.n.g.! Oh my god!!! I loved that sooo much! You're a fantastic writer
Author's Response: thank you!! I'm so glad you liked it, and thanks for reviewing!
Aw!!! I love this!! I love your word choices :) Nice piece!!!
Author's Response: Thank you! Word choice was very important to me while writing this, so I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing!
I must say you are an extremely gifted
Author's Response: thank you!!!
That was an incredible story. Way to go, keep up the good work!
Author's Response: thank you so much!
Hi! I liked the story it was beautiful you are a fantastic writer but I wasn't as interested as I was in something that had her hating him and then falling inlove. I always love those stories because it's always so much more interesting then lovey dovey stuff! I did like it though! You are amazing at describing things. I believe that if you really wanted to you could become a writer. But I still wasn't interested in it like I would be with a story written by KASK!!! It was ok I guess.
Author's Response: There are a lot of stories about how Lily hates James, James' personality does a 180, and Lily falls in love with him. These seem unrealistic to me, especially because Sirius says in book 5 that Lily never hated James. Admittedly, there are a lot of good stories about their falling in love, but I wanted to examine a moment after that had happened. Purple Ink, one of my other stories has more action and less "lovey dovey", as you call it. Thanks for your review!
This story was like a breath of fresh air.
I luuuuuved it!
Author's Response: That's such a nice way to describe it; thank you so much!
you are an amazing writer.
the description is beautiful.
Author's Response: I'm so glad you liked it--thanks for reviewing!
Like many others who have reviewed this, I'm going to have to say that this story was absolutely beautiful. The story itself, the way it was told, the emotions it evoked...let's just say that although Lily can't describe the love she feels, it's more than easy enough to understand simply by reading this wonderful piece of work.
I really enjoyed the way you ended this. It ended the moment with a lighthearted joke from James, which is, to be honest, only to be expected. :)
Another important thing that you provide here is very strong imagery. For example:
Maybe later I’ll be too busy to sit under trees and watch the sky change from blue to gold to lavender to velvety darkness; maybe I won’t have time to appreciate the beauty of the bark I’m leaning on, the grass I’m sitting on, the man my head rests on. But heaven forbid I ever forget how I love these things, how I love the intertwining of our hands and the way time has paused while we rest here before our lives take off and we stand to meet the world together. If I live to the day this tree dies I will never forget how we sat beneath it and listened to summer sounds in between soft breaths of wind and our quiet breathing. Sometimes happiness is loud and raucous, but now it’s the calm chirp of crickets and the call of a lone owl that speak for me: I am in love and I cannot express how happy I am because of it, because of him.
Wow...this entire paragraph is just full of imagery. ...the calm chirp of crickets and the call of a lone owl that speak for me...it's just so perfect. There is really nothing that I could even imagine about changing in this paragraph. It's simply flawless and written wonderfully.
He won’t be able to walk with long strides and springing steps or climb up a tree before I know what he’s doing.
This part really made me smile. :) Even though the mood of the moment is so intense, it adds, once again, a bit of lightheartedness to it, which adds to the emotions being sent out from your words to the reader. The last sentence makes such a not only big, but necessary difference to your story, and you nailed it.
The only thing I would even consider adding to this is just a little more interaction between the two; maybe a kiss or two shared here and there, or some stroking of the hair. I think it would have added even more to the mood, if that would even be possible. Aside from that, this was absolutely wonderful. I enjoyed reading this so much and I know that if I wrote this, I would be immensely proud of it. You did a great job!
Author's Response: Wow--thank you so much for your wonderful review. I appreciate every single word. Thank you for your comment about interaction...I'm hesitant to change anything because I want this to be a moment/pause with very little motion and mostly thinking--but I'll definitely take that into account for future stories. It means so much to me that you were able to visualize everything I wrote about--I tried to make everything as clear in writing as it was in my head. Again, thank you so much for your review.
Wow. I loved it so much!
Beautiful, absolutely beautiful. God, you just about made me feel as if I was in love with James too...amazingly well crafted story. I just loved it.
Author's Response: you weren't in love with James already? :) But thanks so much for reviewing; I really appreciate your comments.
Absolutely beautiful. I love it.
Author's Response: Aw thanks! I'm glad you reviewed :)
that was really cute, i liked it
Author's Response: thank you!