Manu! 20 reviews for only the first chapter?! You're amazing, everyone loves it already. ;D I've never read a Rose/Scorpius fic before and I don't think there are many on here yet, so you'll be the first! I'm dying to find out what happens next. Your Rose and Scorpio remind me very much of Romeo and Juliet, even more than Ginny/Draco. I'm so proud to have helped you out with this fic, my dear; it's going to be huge. :D
Author's Response: Maddy!!! Thank ya! *huggles tightly* I'm proud to have had YOUR help, my dear! *beams*
Hello dear Manu!
I really enjoyed this! I've never actually read a Rose/Scorpius story, but I rather liked it a lot. Especially how you introduced it with Draco and Ron forbidding their respective children from talking to the other, and low and behold, they talk!
The POV changes made the story really interesting to read, though I must admit I agree with Euphrates. It would be nice to see a bit more description added to each segment.
This was really loverly, Manu, I can't wait to see some more!
[[prods in direction of my author's page]]
/my shameless self promotion!
Author's Response: :D I'll check it out in a little while! Promise. I'm glad you enjoyed this. Yep, I agree with both of you about the POV too. The first chappie is going to be as detailed as you wish. *sly smile* *huggles*
Hmmm, a really good beginning there, Manu. I was really happy with the characterisation all through the Prologue, and the expression of the entire snippet kept me in, throughout. I relished every word you've written, because there's something deep about your style.
And I must say, the summary is very catchy :). Anyway, I would have read this even without the summary, because your banner had my eye on this fic: I was really waiting for this (did I tell you this on the phone?)
Oh! I love this! The first next generation fic I've laid my hands on, really! *Looks surprised at her outburst*
Good luck with the rest, you have an excellent plot there! And Merry Christmas!
And I know you did not expect the review today, but I dug out some time just for this. Told my Mum that I had to, and had to read something. She had to give in, finally ;)
*hugs* I'm favouriting this!
Author's Response: *squishes Phia for the summary* Yep, she wrote almost the whole of it for me! And thank you so for taking out time. It was a wonderful surprise when I heard of it. Yes, I *heard* of your review on phone at 10:30pm from Nupur, exactly an hour after talking to you. I didn't believe it at all! *hugs* Pooja for ssuch an amazing review :)
Great beginning! I love the POV changes—I think it really adds to the story.
All in all, I can't wait to read more! I've never been much for next-gen fics, but this one seems promising!
Author's Response: Awww.. thanks Ally! YAY! Yet another DD here! (LEL). *hugs*
*actually reviews* Heh. Sorry for my lateness, Manu. Anyway, onto the review!
This beginning, Manu, was very well done. The only critique I have is that the sections (the POV shifts) could have been longer - a bit more description seems necessary to balance out all of the dialogue. But otherwise, this prologue, while short, was great – well written.
I did love the POV shifts, even if they were a bit sudden and short. They work well and weave the beginning of the story together slowly, bringing up, as you said, questions that really made me want to be able to click the small 'Next' button at the bottom of the page. Update? XD
Their (Rose and Scorpius') dialogue was perfect. I love it. It flowed really well and it sounded realistic, and it matched the way eleven year olds think at times. Kudos for that, I’d never be able to do it.
This is a very intriguing beginning, Manu. My only thought, as I already said, is to add more description, but I think because this is only the prologue that that explains the lack of it. Good luck with the next chappie! *hugs*
Author's Response: LOL. Yep. You're perfectly right about the POV's in both cases. And yeah, the first chappie's going to be looong and deatailed, so don't worry ;) *squishes teh awesome Kate*
Aww! This is so sweet! :) I love your little Scorpius! Update soon, pretty please?
Author's Response: Priz! *waves frantically* Great to see you here, and glad you liked it! I just received some bad news. Guess what? Scorpius' mum's name is not MANU (or Priz), it's-it's some
ASTORIA GREENGRASS! *eek* Anyway, *huggles* for reviewing!
aha finally a eview for ma dear manu...
its LOVELY.... gosh its taken a quite different form now... i am glad dear that its shapin up well... cant wait for the other chappies and i hope u put in a link for what i asked u too *crosses fingers*
Author's Response: er... which lik did you ask me? *is confused* Don't worry, I'll PM you again *is still confused* Is it shaping up well now? Cool! And thanks for the review, dearie! *squishes*
Ahh, Fluff McFlufferson.
Even if I don't agree that either Draco or mini-Draco (Scorpius) could have been any sort of attractive and even if I think that it's either Margaret, Margareta or Marguerite -
the fic is nice. Please continue.
Author's Response: LOL. I will continue, don't worry. Thanks for the review! *hugs*
This is an excellent beginning. :] Can't wait to see the rest.
Author's Response: Thanks! :) I'll update ASAP
MANUUUUUUU!!! You published a fic! You're such an amazing drabbler, now we can finally read something nice and looooooong from you!
Okay, my thoughts on this prologue:
I love how all the sentences are so short, and you have short little sections from each of them in turn. It gives it a sense of immediacy, I really feel like it's happening right now and I'm there. And you didn't bog it down with a lot of detail. But even though you didn't describe every little moment, we can tell what's happening. I thought that was really effective.
I particularly like the last two sections. They're so cute! I love how they're echoing each other's thoughts! And how Rosie has home-made cookies - in true Weasley fashion, I think. And "you're so pink, like a rose". Cute!
Well, can't wait to see the next chappie. This is great, Manu!!
Author's Response: Chella! Another DD. LEL! The DL is bursting with happines XD. I like that line too, and I'm so happy someone shares my views. I was going for the same effect with the short sentences, and I'm sooo glad you noticed. =) *squishes and huggles*
What an awesome begining. I love the tone and the summary. I can't wait for the next chappie.*squishes the breath out of you*=Sammmy
Author's Response: *tries to get her breath back* THANKS! I'm glad you liked it! Hope you like the next chappie as well too! *sqeezes back*
Hi Manu! :)
It was about time this got accepted. I just love the poetic kind of way that you write in.
Even though we don't see much of it in the prologue, I think you're really good at describing small detatails.
And yes choclate frogs are very tasteful.
I know I'm bad at reviews. Sorry Manu. I'd just wanna say keep the good work up.
Since I've already read the next part, I already knows that it's good too.
(: Johan ;)
Author's Response: I am sooo glad to see a DD pop up here, Jev XD. Ah yeah, you know what's coming, and thanks for reviewing, fellow DD. The DL is infinitely pleased. LOL. *hugs*
Author's Response: EDIT: I meant LEL, I swear!!!! *hides face* IT WAS A TYPO!!
Wow Manu, I'm so glad you've gotten validated! Don't you feel good? This was a comforting story. I was pleased with the direction you took it.
One thing that I would work on, in drabbles and one-shots, is your amount of detail. You skip from Rose's POV to Scorpius's POV so often, that we need to be able to tell the difference. Adding more detail, mayb, about their appearance, and feelings would help us readers distunguish between the two.
I love when they meet on the train, and how Rose gives up her feelings for young Misser Malfoy. But, I would have liked it to go on! Why not show somemore of the train ride?
Great job, overall, Manu!
Author's Response: Now you're forcing me to reveal the first chappie, Claire! XD Thanks for the inputs! I'll be careful about the sudden POV shifts in the future chapters. Just another note- the first chapter is going to be detailed, I promise you, and the style of writing is also quite different. Thanks for the constructive review, I love them *hugs*
Oh, my dear sweet wonderful manu, I loved it!
The thoughts of the kids was perfectly written, and the way their parents talked to them... I loved it.
I really liked that you had Scorpius' mother act in a similar way to Narcissa. Pretty much self involved, and Draco being the one to actually have the 'hands on' parenting.
Rose and Scorpius should always be paired. Excellent job my dear, and it's going on my Favorites list right now.
Author's Response: *Squee* Is it really? I am so honoured to have this fic in your list of favourites with just the Prologue. I am glad you liked it :) *hugs*
Aw, now that I've gone back and looked at it, it's so cute!
‘No wonder you’re so pink …. like a rose.’
How sweet and eleven year old-ish. Lol, it's very adorable and the characters seem to act their age.
‘Bye Mum, bye Dad!’ the little girl waved goodbye, kissed her brother lightly on his cheeks and fell back into her seat.
It was time for the train to move.
I was sort of confused here, because I didn't understand how she could lean out to give Hugo a kiss if she was already on the train. I'd just suggest a little explanation... Somthing like, 'she leaned out to give her brother a kiss'...
Well, I'm hoping for more soon. This was too short. :)
Author's Response: *ponders* Yes, you may be right. But couldn't the window be pulled up or something? Hmm... XD Thanks for the inputs though. I'll take care such logical errors don't occur again. LOL. And I'm so glad they look eleven-ish. YAY! Mission Accompished! *hugs*
It's up! YEAH!!!!
I'm excited...lol...This is really well written, as I've been telling you since the past...umm....month? You've done a great job of keeping the characters IC and exactly as we've all imagined them to be. Do keep up the good work, and UPDATE!
(haha, i know what happens next- being your classmate and friend has its advantages :P But yeah, UPDATE!!!)
Author's Response: LOL, yes you know. And thanks dearie! *huggles* =D
**SQUEE** Oh my goodness! I cannot wait for your next chappie! I have so many questions that need to be answered that I'm about to burst! Anyways, on to the review!
You have done an excellent job with characterizing our two young subjects and their respective fathers.
Rose seems like a very inquisitive, strong minded youth, but is written very well and in context of what an eleven-year-old should be. With your first paragraph you can tell how anxious she is to start Hogwart's and be free of her dad's tight grasp.
I can just picture Ron being a doting father, but can still see him being extra stern with his only girl! Remember how he was with Ginny? I think you have showed that well here.
As for little Scorpius, he is just written so innocent here. I love the way he reacts to his mother's socializing, I can just picture him rolling his eyes!
What little we read of Draco, though we don't know it's him at the time, seems spot on as well. I love his line of dialogue that you have, it reminds me so much of his father!
Great job, Manu! I'll be impatiently waiting for your next update!
Author's Response: I am glad you liked the charecterisation, Stacy! And it also feels nice to know you liked it, though it was very short. I Promise that the next chapter is goig to be loooong XD *squishes*
*Squees* It's up! Congratulations! It looks so purty on the actual site... Not that it didn't always look purty, of course! You already know what I think of your amazing writing so I won't waste your time. Congratulations again, can't wait for the first chapter to be validated and the second chapter to pop up in my inbox!
Author's Response: I can't thank you enough, Phia! The Prologue would probably not be half as appealing to everyone as it is now, if it wasn't for you. *hugs* *squishes*
Your story got through! I'm so happy for you! *squee!*
It's brilliant, I tell you. I'm in love with it now that I've re-red it. I can't wait for the next chappie!
Author's Response: *hugs* Dear. You're so sweet. *tear* :)
MANU!!!! Your story's been accepted!!!
Ahem, forgive the excessive use of exclamation marks. Anyway, I'll come back tomorrow to leave a proper review. It's late now and my mom is angry, and I'll come back tomorrow and substitue this with an actual review. :P
Can't wait to read more.
Author's Response: MIA!!!! (Complimenting on the exclamation marks :D) Thanks a lot dear! *hugs*