MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
(Signed) · Date:
01/13/08 1:46 · For:
I just thought I'd comment on a few things.
Name: Sayla Nable
First, I thought this story was a bit confusing. You mentioned a lot of spells, but you didn't really say what each of them did. Some of them you did, though, but a lot, you didn't.
One question I have is, the incantation you have in your story for creating a horcrux, did you make that up, or did you read it from somewhere? Also, what language is it in, and what does it translate into? Lastly, does it go along with what a horcrux is?
I thought this story was good, even though in the beginning it didn't really make sense. I was confused about who some of the people were in the story until towards the middle. Perhaps you should have mentioned who they were in the beginning? Maybe when you first mentioned them? I don't know, but that's just what I think may have been a little better.
Also, at the end you mentioned in your author's notes that 'Secrets of the Darkest Art' is the book Hermione has in DH, but what about the other books you mentioned in the story? Where did you find them, or did you just create them yourself?
I understand you said that you wrote this in a hurry, and for you being in a hurry, you did a pretty good job. Some parts may have been better if maybe you did them without hurrying.
Another question I have is what time period is this supposed to be in? You have Horace Slughorn in the story, and isn't that the man who was the Potions Professor when James and Lily were at Hogwarts? I may be wrong about that, but I just thought I'd ask about it. And if it is the Slughorn that I think it is, wouldn't he have not contributed to Solan's interest in the Dark Arts? I mean he basically had to be forced to tell Tom Riddle about horcruxes when Tom asked him about it while he was in Hogwarts.
Alright. I'm done. I'm not sure if I helped any, or just criticised this the entire time, but honestly, I did think this was a good story. The flow was excellent, and such, but maybe you should have tried to space out the paragraphs in the beginning of the story more, like you did towards the end. =)
Author's Response: Okay, so let me roll off the facts.
This is set in the late 1800s.
Yes, that is THE Slughorn. You'll notice that he's supposed to be old, but not as old as Dumbledore. Dumbledore was born in the 1840s; Horace and Nolan are about 20 in this story, making their birthdates around the 1860s or higher. So he would be about 110 when he taught Lily and James and 130 when he taught Harry. And yes, as demonstrated on numerous occaisions (I mean, come on, Professor Tofty must be about 200), wizards live longer than Muggles.
I would think that this would have lead to Horace's later reluctance in telling Tom anything about Horcruxes.
'Curses Arcane' and 'Forbidden Olde Ways' are fictional titles. 'The Book of Vile Darkness' is a little homage of sorts to the fake book Angel of Dreams constantly referenced in class.
Yes; my formatting is wonky. It came out weird because of my word processor, then I started fixing it and did it partway but messed some parts of it more, and then I just gave up. SOMEDAY I shall fix it entirely.
I suppose I was writing this with a mild knowledge of Latin and therefore expected my readers to decode some. How conceited of me.
(All the spells except Crucio are my own creation.)
Lanio ex animo ita ego forsitan aeternus- Horcrux creating spell. Translates to 'I tear my soul to pieces so that I may be immortal'.
Attero Per Extremusvis- Shortened from 'Attero Per Extremus Vis'; Crushing spell. Translates to 'I crush with etreme force'.
Descendo abrubtus- Slamming Curse. Translates to 'I send down abrubtly'. *wink*
Carnes Incendio- Flesh Burning Curse. Translates to 'I light the flesh on fire'. *smirk*
I just broke my glasses and now have an immense headache from typing this, as I cannot see the screen.
Thanks for reading and reviewing.
(Signed) · Date:
01/12/08 20:26 · For:
How wonderful was this? I can't begin to describe it. It was... disturbing. But good. Disturbing in a good way.
Name: Rhi for HP
And yes, you are evil. Very, very evil.
Author's Response: Aw, thanks!
Disturbing in a good way? I didn't think that was possible. But hey, if it works.
(Signed) · Date:
01/08/08 18:42 · For:
Loved it!!! Ooh you are devilish... that was just awesome. Creepy-licious! Freak-tastic! Insane-osity! Just one thing: If you are trying to be accurate with canon, he wouldn't be Peverell, because, as Hermione tells us in DH, that's a name that is "extinct in the male line." But sometimes canon's fun to break...
Author's Response: Ha, thanks. I love being called evil.
Well, if you didn't notice, this was set a while back. Probably 1870s or so. Which would mean that when Hermione was telling us, the Peverell line WAS extinct in the male line. It died with Nolan.
(Signed) · Date:
12/16/07 11:23 · For:
WOW. That was so . . . so . . .
I loved it!
I especially shivered at the part when Opal went insane right before she died.
But the ending was perfect as well, and I can find absolutely nothing I didn't like.
Fantastic job, Stubby!
Author's Response: 0_o
Thanks a jillion! I had altogether too much fun writing this.