First off, this is a brilliantly well written one-shot. The sharp descriptiveness that you have provided when expressing Andy and Lucius’ emotions was interesting and captivating. The upfront and direct style of this piece was easy and wonderful to read.
“I must ask,” said Severus with a slight hesitation, sitting down across from the other male. “Why did you feel the need to choose me, of all people, as your best man for this wedding?”
Lucius raised his eyebrows. “Are you complaining?”
“No, I am merely wondering. I’m only sixteen, not even of age, and I know you have many more — ‘competent’ — associates — “
“‘More competent associates’?” Lucius echoed, with an icy laugh. “Severus, you are probably one of the most — if not the most competent person I know, and you could out-do most of us in terms of skill and power both.”
“Why don’t you save your petty flattery for your future wife, Lucius?” Severus suggested, smirking. “Your efforts would be put to much better use with her than with I.”
This was so wonderfully in character for Severus! In fact, I think that your characterization of both Severus and Lucius was brilliantly correct. You have Snape’s manner and speech perfectly, what with his perfect grammar and sarcastic tone. Lucius is wonderful as well. I liked that you had Severus being the best man, even though neither thought that they were what one would call best friends. I liked how Lucius did not answer the question either; it was very like him.
I also liked the characterization of Andromeda, as it was so different from what we usually see her to be. Particularly, I liked how she ‘loved’ Ted, but would never be ‘in love’ with him.
But what does it matter? She chose the Mudblood Tonks over me and ran off, it doesn’t matter how I feel about the issue.”
Lucius had not realized he’d spoken aloud until the words echoed dimly off the walls of the dressing room. When he comprehended that he had, he cleared his throat awkwardly, and glanced to his side, where Severus stood.
“It still hurts,” was all Severus offered, toneless but solemn, as though he truly knew.
“What?” Lucius asked gruffly, ashamed that he had revealed so much of himself in such an instant of weakness, but also curious as to what his best man had to say. “What does?”
“Watching her chose someone else,” said Severus simply. “Knowing she loves them more than she loves you, even though you love her more than the other bastard ever could.”
“You seem to speak from experience,” Lucius commented, as his chest tightened painfully with the truth of Severus’ words.
I *loved* how you brought Lily into the fic through Severus, without letting the audience know exactly what you were referring to and dwelling upon it. It was very creative and a wonderful element to the scene.
The way that you had the character’s, Andy and Lucius’, thoughts written was edgy and in-your-face. When Lucius would think something, then correct quickly himself, you really could feel his anxiety and frustration. Again, it really draws the reader into the story.
One couple. One unit. One soul. She clutched the flowers in her hands tighter, the stems digging into her palms and cutting into her skin, cutting into her deep pain and sorrow, becoming another small piece of it.
The imagery in this passage is beautiful; it really sticks in your mind. The pain depicted here, both physical and emotional, is wonderful.
The ending was outstanding. The way that Lucius realizes he will live the rest of his life in falsities and pretending is simple poetic.
The only nitpicks that I have is that there are a couple of words that are not finished. For example, in the last line you meant “they will pretend” but it is written “the will pretend”. Other than those small things, this was a pretty perfect piece, in my opinion.
This is truly a wonderful, brilliant piece of fanfiction that I would recommend to anyone who enjoys a good, thought provoking read. I do hope that you will continue with the greatness you have placed into this one-shot.
Author's Response: Oh, Haylee, wow! What a lovely review, thank you so much.
I had so much fun with the characterizations of this piece. Not only did I get to write about my favorite pairing (Lucius/Andromeda!), but I got to write about my favorite character (Sevy!). And I've wanted to do some interaction between Sevy and Luci for ages -- they've got such a funny relationship, but they can also really connect on a much deeper level (not that either of them talk about their feelings all that much! :P). And I do try to portray a 'different' Andy, because I think there's much more to her than what we've seen.
I was worried the allusion to Lily would be too much -- that it would be more than Severus would reveal to another person. I'm glad you liked it though.
And I'm glad you liked the ending too, because I truly had NO IDEA how to end this one-shot. :P I wrote the majority of this fic, and then ended up abandoning it for several weeks purely because no ending would come to me!
Oops, thanks for pointing out those errors, I'll have to fix them (some other time :P *laziness*).
Again, thank you so much for all your praise, I'm really flattered.
I love it, I love it, I love it! I adore rare-pairs so much and this one is so beautiful! You did an amazing job on this.
Author's Response: Thank you! Rare-pairs are quite fun. :D
This was remarkably well-written. I can honestly say that I thorougly enjoyed it. Hardly any grammatical/technical errors, excellent plot and characterization, etc. However, what strikes me most about this fic is the ship! This is the first Lucius/Andromeda I've ever read; they're such a wonderful pairing! Thank you for introducing me to this ship. It's quite original. :]
I think I shall go look for other Lucius/Andromeda fics now. ;] Once again, wonderful, amazing job. Keep up the great work!
Author's Response: :D This has really become my favorite ship within the past months, and it's great to know that others enjoy it too! There aren't many fics with this pairing, unfortunately, but I'm always looking, haha. Thank you so much for your kind review!
*sniff* good story! i liked how you switched back and forth... i guess that andromeda grew to love ted tonks eventually tho... hopefullly....
Author's Response: *gives tissue* Thank you so much for the review. Yes, Andromeda's love for Ted does grow over time, and she becomes much happier. But that doesn't mean her feelings for Lucius ever *entirely* vanish. ;)