I must say this was a very powerful piece of work. I don't generally read poetry but I cam across this for an assignment and I was hooked right away.
It amazed me how the two sides were saying things which were both parallel in thought and polar opposite in belief. Such simple phrases but a simple sentence spoke a thousand words for the characters who were living through the battle.
Let the fallen block their pathways,
Let the laughter break them apart,
Let the mercilessness show our beings,
Let death stop every heart.
I liked this stanza (?) because the reader really can't tell which side it is coming from. It brought it all together for me.
Great job. I will continue to look for your work in the future!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review Nicole! I'm glad you liked this piece ^^rnrnThat one stanza you mentioned-- I meant to write it from the DE's p.o.v., but I see where you're coming from. I appreciate the feedback!
As you know, this is one of my favorite poems that you have here on the site. Thus, I just *had* to use this poem for my bonus for class.
I shall start with the title. Though it is not very mysterious, it drew me right to the poem. You have stated the purpose of the poem in the title, yet given no clear view. With the repetition of the "what we fight for"s it is truly the most fitting title for this poem.
The repetition placed in this poem with the "It is what we fight for"s and the repetition, or echo, of the Death Eater's mimicing is so breath takingly chilling that it brings the poem together as a whole.
The window words you have used in this poem are also an amazing addition, there's one in almost every stanza! "Innocence, cruelty, conceal, crypt, diminish, mercilessness, ashen, and propel" they all add much depth and power to the poem that make it truly untouchable.
I also enjoyed the rhyming in the Death Eater quatrain stanzas, and the free verse style of the others. It brought a brilliant contrast into the piece and was a great addition to the poem as a whole.
I think that the ending was simple yet powerful. It really concluded the poem, but still held strength.
Overall this was an outstanding poem that brings the Final Battle into perspective and sums it up without over shadowing or over doing it.
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much you have no idea how good this review makes me feel. ^_^ Of all the wonderful poem on this site you chose to do one of mine? I'm honored beyond belief! I enjoyed reading your analysis of this-- its always great to get in-depth reviews. :] Thanks again!
loved it! gave me goosebumps...
Author's Response: thanks!
This was an amazing, beautiful, and heart-breaking poem. I loved the two point of views and how they connected. The wording was brilliant and powerful. The last line hits you like a brick full of amazing talent. You are truly wonderful! I loved this...well I must go read the other new one now.
Author's Response: Thank you for the kind review, I appreciate the feedback.
I love this poem. It is so sad, and displays both sides' emotions perfectly. I love every line in this poem. Great Job!
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you thought the emotions for each side fit well.
Dearie, This poem is simply amazing. I love the italic rhyme schemes, very intense, very well written. I love it, keep writing for you are an inspiration to me, who only has one poem accepted by this site. ^-^
Author's Response: An inspiration? Woah, that is really one of the nicest things I've ever read in my reviews. Your poem was *fantastic* by the way and you should post more up soon!
Thanks for reviewing!
That was a truely intence poem. I loved both the POVs and the rhyme scheme itself was amazing. I am truely speechless. The las 3 stanzas are beyond praise. The emotion you displayed in this was so stromg and so...so imtence that* can't think of a word good enough * anyways brilliant job as always and you wanna know my favourite part. The whole poem. I think this is the second best thing you've ever written( I'm still very partial towards Night worrior ). Keep up the awesome work.=Sammy
Author's Response: Wow, thank you soooo much for this review. It made my day. :) I'm glad you liked the rhyme scheme (I'm always afraid it will sound forced and too much like everything else I've done). I'm glad you thought it was intense-- that was really what I was aiming for because the emotions I was trying to convey are intense and I wanted to really send that out to the reader. I'm soo glad that you liked this poem, and thank you for the compliment about it being the second best thing I've ever done. It makes me feel as if my writing is improving. . . (at least a little. . .^^).
Oh yeah. . . I'm glad you enjoyed Night's Warrior so much.
Thanks so much (again) for the review! :D
good poem!! i liked how u switched sides btwn death eaters and the good side!!!!
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you liked that, I really wanted to show both sides of the story. ^_^
"darkened nights" Night already implies darkness, so that was a bit redundant, but it does sound very poetic.
Let the collapses conceal our echoes,
Nice alliteration. And I love the word 'echoes'. Such a pretty line. :)
Let the burning cover up the screams,
Let the sadness fuel our purpose,
Let the cruelty bring alive our dreams.
I adore these two lines. The 'cruelty bring alive our dreams' really brought to mind Voldemort and Bellatrix with their whole sadistic thing.
We cry upon the frozen heroes,
Harry's fifteen minutes of death, perhaps? Very nice place to insert the word 'frozen'.
We struggle through the shadowy crypt.
It is hopelessness.
It is torture.
It is what we must fight.
Really nice poem. :)
Author's Response: Ugh. . . I can't believe I missed that redundant line =/ Thank you for pointing that out to me. I appreciate you taking the time to write this review and including your thoughts on certain lines. :) Thanks!
o my gosh, i got tears in my eyes reading that. GREAT JOB! :D
Author's Response: awww.... I hope that's good thing? :)
Thanks for the review!
omg... amazing again!!!!! keep it up!!!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! :D