I love it! Neville always deserves that kind of happiness.
When I noticed you’d uploaded this story, I read it happily, but then I was confused. I was sure I’d read it before. I finally figured it out: it used to be the third chapter of your other Neville story with 007 prompts. I’m not sure how I feel about it being a stand-alone. I definitely understand it, though, because the first two chapters dealt mainly with his relationship with his Gran and this one is more about him than anything. So it was definitely a reasonable decision, even if I’m not sure about it.
I love this story. It’s so Neville. He doesn’t really believe in the talent he has – or rather, he does, he just doesn’t believe that anyone else will think of it the same way. “I — er — I’m honoured — it — did it really deserve that?” And he’s still clumsy and everything we know to be true of Neville, but he’s so redeeming in this story. He has confidence we didn’t know Neville to have until the last book.
Neville’s [plant] was quite remarkable in that he could pet it after only two. It’s not Neville at all that’s responsible for it, is it? Ha.
I don’t really have very many picky comments, only that I think this story would benefit from being a bit longer. It really is very short. The unfortunate thing is, I don’t know where you’d add anything. Perhaps at the end you could add Neville thinking just briefly about his Gran, and how she’d feel about it – that would also make it fit better with the other two chapters, and remind us of her presence in his life. We do have the part about the wealthiness, but there’s a difference, I think. But it’s just a random suggestion.
That’s all! I really liked this story – simple yet sweet, and very in character. Have a nice day! *D*
Author's Response: Thanks! This story...well...I think I did really well with the other two chapters. This one...I forced out. I couldn't find the right "meaningful" angle, as with the rest. I couldn't bear having it there as such an anti-climax--at least, that's what it felt like to me. *shrugs*
Thanks for your suggestion about his Gran. This is why I need a really good beta >.< I could use that. I probably will (eventually).
I love your feedback! Thanks so much!
Marvelous story! You showed Neville at something he does extremely well. You did a wonderful job writing Neville.
Author's Response: Thank you! I've gotten rather fond of him lately :)
Oh Katie, this is so adorable. I was drawn to the non-specific title, and now see that the importance of the title is nill in Neville’s eyes. That’s what I respect about him. I loved his timidness, and his surprise. I loved the soft sounds that the Mimblus mimbletonia made, and the sounds that Neville made with it. He was like a mother with its baby, except… it’s a boy with his plant. That he talks to. Charming.
-steps slowly away-
But in all seriousness, it’s something endearing you’d expect of Neville. I thought his acceptance was a little stilted – maybe you went a little overboard with the speech patterns ;). But other than that, I actually liked the description of the environment. I feel the same way at big athletics meets, when you just KNOW everyone there loves it as much as you. I’d have loved some more details, like that one about the self-fertilising plant. I would have loved his reaction to the smell, perhaps an Amorentia smell somewhere in the tents?
There was an excellent qwuote that reminded me so much fo JKR’s humor – How to Handle Your Flesh-Eaters Without Becoming Prey Hee. I just snorted at this. Brilliant.
I think I’ll have to read the first one-shot then, won’t I? Please do write another!
Author's Response: :D Thanks! It's a much smaller thing than fighting in wars and so on, but this is a big deal for Neville--learning to be his own person in his own way. (I'll look at his speech; I know more or less how he sounds, but conveying it is less easy.) Details would be good. I know this is short, but I'd run out of ideas for making it longer when I posted it. And I'm glad you like the humor!
Again, thanks so much! I appreciate it :D
This was really good! I love how you had him talking to the plant, petting it--it just seemed like a natural, Neville-ish thing to do. It's always nice to read something where his character gets a moment to shine.
End of the second to last paragrah, you said, "Money wasn't an issue for him." That usually means he's rich, but I don't think that was what you meant. Also, last paragraph, I would switch the order of the first and second sentences.
Good story! And have a nice day!
Author's Response: I will definitely look over those paragraphs; I like this story, but it could use a little polishing. Hee. I tend to talk to inanimate objects, so why shouldn't Neville talk to his semi-animate plant? it is his passion. Thanks so much for your comments!
This was a really neat little one-shot: each word is finely chosen, all the dialogue is realistic. You really write Neville wonderfully. He is a hero, perhaps not in a big and flashy way, but a hero nonetheless, and you capture this stammering, unconfident but heroic side of him very well.
The only thing I suggest is that you expand it a little. As it is, I get a rather incomplete feeling as I read it.
Favorite quote: “Neville pushed forward a bit and climbed awkwardly onto the platform to take his medal. He thought he smiled when the official photographer raised his camera; he was a bit too stunned to be entirely sure.” This is definitely Neville at his best!
Author's Response: *nods* I do feel that this story is missing something; I will undoubtedly go back and flesh it out at some later date. Thanks so much for your compliments and concrit!
"When he stepped back down, another official handed him a small, heavy bag — fifty galleons in prize money. “Th-thank you,” Neville stammered. 'I — er — I’m honoured — it — did it really deserve that?'" Neville was so in character!
Anyways, you did a great job. I love a story where Neville shines, so I loved "In His Own Right". I'm so glad you wrote this very nice sequel to it.
Author's Response: Aw, thanks! I really became a lot more fond of Neville after writing all about him, and I'm always glad to see him get his well-deserved recognition.