Reviewer: nevilleherosnape
Date: 08/30/13 23:47
Chapter: Chapter One: A Cry in the Dark

Please FOR THE GREATER GOOD tell me you have an update for this!!!! Pretty please!! I just found it today, read all eight chapters and now...........I'm stuck in some weird in between dimension!! Lol this tale is awesome!!

Reviewer: dramione_love
Date: 07/12/12 13:46
Chapter: Chapter One: A Cry in the Dark

Hello :)
I 'm from China and I really love your fiction For the Greater Good. I want to translate it into Chinese. Please send me an e-mail if I could.
E-mail address: 421926271@qq.com

Reviewer: Moody
Date: 01/25/11 7:32
Chapter: Chapter 2: Kidnapped!

An interesting and very very well-written story...I finished the first two chapters today and will be back for more very soon! Great work!

Reviewer: coolh5000
Date: 11/30/10 14:08
Chapter: Chapter Eight: Sowing Chaos

I really enjoyed this story. The world you've created is really well thought out and I feel you have planned the exact fates of all the characters in both universes and it is fascinating to read. The characterisation is interesting and definitely believable for the events that the worlds have been through.

I have so many questions, particularly regarding the 'other' world and how it has evolved the way it has. I really hope that you write and post more at some point as I am very interested to see how this story develops and finishes. I love reading about the alternative universes authors create, particularly when they are as well developed as this one.

Hannah

Reviewer: Clell65619
Date: 10/11/10 10:30
Chapter: Chapter Eight: Sowing Chaos

- Ok, this is an amazing story. Looking forward to what comes next.

Reviewer: ejoemily
Date: 10/04/09 4:33
Chapter: Chapter One: A Cry in the Dark

thank you! This was great!!! The universe is so believable!!

Reviewer: indigo_mouse
Date: 09/16/09 23:17
Chapter: Chapter Eight: Sowing Chaos

FINALLY!

Whew, I had almost given up hope.

Well done. I like the way you highlight the calculated manipulation of Harold. It makes him so different from Harry. I enjoyed Fudge's appearance and I think you kept him very much in character; willing to be manipulated, still ambitious.

Bravo, and don't stop now!

Reviewer: bigtimer
Date: 09/13/09 6:54
Chapter: Chapter Eight: Sowing Chaos

so glad you updated this story, great chapter i hope you can update more often now.

Reviewer: DracoGurlFurever
Date: 07/22/09 10:40
Chapter: Chapter One: A Cry in the Dark

Hey!

I adored the first chapter of this story (which is how far I’ve gotten!). I can’t wait to read more – you’ve clearly thought a lot about this story, and it’s evident from the start of the very first chapter.

I really liked how the chapter started: Ron Weasley limped slowly down the corridor. Because I chose to read this story after looking at the summary and finding it interesting, I thought that the first person to be featured in this story would obviously be Hermione. It was a pleasant surprise to see that Ron was the first character mentioned – it’s a neat way to begin that suggests that the rest of the story will be just as unexpected.

But despite the increased wizard power…well Ron hadn’t felt particularly optimistic in some time now. This sentence sounded somewhat awkward to me. I think it would have read better as a single flowing sentence, like so: “But, despite the increased wizard power, Ron hadn’t felt particularly optimistic in some time now.” The way it’s currently written made the readability of the sentence suffer a little, I think.

On the bright side, I really liked your characterization of Luna. I can see her being exactly the sort of person you describe – the only person who seems to have been rather untouched by all the violence that’s been going on around her – maybe because of her ability to lose herself in her own world rather than stay as alert as everyone else seems to be. Yet, I think she also has a certain ability to see things that others miss – and maybe take exactly the sort of chances that Ron, Hermione, and everyone else is taking in this story to try to reach out to someone else who might be able to help them.

Distrust of old magic, of blood magic, practically flowed through his veins. Hermione’s spell was borderline Dark. I enjoyed reading your interpretation of the finding-another-world spell (I couldn’t think of another word for it!). In any case, I loved the way you threw some humor in there, too – especially the part where you mention Flitwick looking like he wanted to say something like “10 points to Gryffindor!” – it shows that all the members of the Order still have some hope that they might be able to persist in their resistance of Lord Voldemort. It also lightened the scene a little and showed how nostalgic the members of the Order probably feel at the thought of being back at Hogwarts.

T here was a man crouched in the center of the scorched pentagram. Oh, they’re *summoning* someone? I thought they were planning on going somewhere else – if not escaping, then at least researching as to how they might possibly conquer Voldemort. I’m not quite sure how I got that idea, but for some reason the revelation that someone else was there really surprised me. Maybe you could make it a little clearer as to what they’re trying to do earlier in the chapter? I mean, I know you’re trying to keep the suspense – and it certainly is very suspenseful – but it would make the entire thing a little easier to understand.

Also, I would’ve appreciated a little bit more background in the beginning – although you hint at some ideas of how the world has changed since Voldemort has risen to power, I didn’t really see any explanation as to what had happened in the years since the last battle. If not a paragraph-long explanation, maybe you could just add in a sentence or two about the whole scenario? Especially with the reference to the raid on Azkaban, I would’ve loved to hear more about it.

Finally, some grammar nitpicks: He made a point of not getting too close to anyone, he’d lost too many people and not just to death either should read “He made a point of not getting too close to anyone; he’d lost too many people, and not just to death, either.” He could see Charlie slumped over sleeping should have a comma after over. Of course she wasn’t a student anymore, and he wasn’t a teacher but it’s the thought that counts should have a comma after ‘course’ and ‘teacher.’

All of the little critiques I mentioned, though, don’t take away from the fact that this was an absolutely amazing chapter to read. It was smartly written, well-thought-out, extremely descriptive – and, most importantly, I desperately wanted to click the “Next” button when I was done :) Thanks for an amazing reading experience!

Apurva.

Reviewer: mulligas
Date: 05/27/09 0:42
Chapter: Chapter Seven: The Calm Before a Storm

Why is Harold so hostile toward the otl Order? They hadn't intended to kidnap him. Since Harold had already decided to help defeat Voldemort, then why did he have his people attack the Order, risking the death of one of his future allies? I am curious of what Harold will think of what happened between Dumbledore and Grindelwald otl.

Author's Response: They did intend to kidnap him, if only b/c they couldn't ask permission first. He's not hostile so much as cautious and arrogant. And he didn't have his people attack the Order, they did so on their own in an attempt to rescue their missing leader. They treated the Order like a terrorist group that had kidnaped the Premier, until Harold was able to contact them. As to otl Dumbledore and Grindelwald, that will play a key role, especially in how Harold reacts to this new universe.

Reviewer: Seer_Witch
Date: 10/16/08 20:30
Chapter: Chapter Six: Preliminary Talks

LUNA? Harry--married--LUNA? I mean,,,Harold? SAY WHAT? GAR NEED ANOTHER CHAPTER!

Reviewer: Seer_Witch
Date: 10/16/08 20:23
Chapter: Chapter Five: Skirmish

Oh man! This is just plain scary. And I'm so CONFUSED. I don't know who the Muggles belong to; I never know who's fighting for which side; when it just says things like "hermione" I'm unsure if it's Harold's or Harry's; who does Regulus belong to, and who's got all the armed forces; WHAT does Voldemort understand? This is weird. Creepy. Bloody amazing. Strange.

Reviewer: Seer_Witch
Date: 10/16/08 20:11
Chapter: Chapter Four: Bridgehead

I'm confused. This is....Harold's Hermione, right? But then the others guarding the door...hold on. I'll spare you from my rambles...

Oh! I got it now. Clever, clever. Indeed, I've never seen the likes of it. Interesting...

Reviewer: Seer_Witch
Date: 10/16/08 20:01
Chapter: Chapter Three: The State of Things

REGULUS? I THOUGHT SHE MEANT SIRIUS?

Sigh. That's better, though. If Sirius looked like that I'd have some sirius problems. But Regulus is okay ^_^ Nice little plot twist, I have no idea where this is going.

Reviewer: Seer_Witch
Date: 10/16/08 18:44
Chapter: Chapter 2: Kidnapped!

What? *sighs* I like that dimension better. Life and love. Ariana's even alive, and phoenix's are singing, and no one's a bother. *sigh*...

Way to bring the millions of dimensions to life. It's a good feeling, to think that it may all be over if we could just sweep aside the thin fabric connecting us all. Love for you xoxox

Reviewer: Seer_Witch
Date: 10/16/08 18:35
Chapter: Chapter One: A Cry in the Dark

Oh fuck. Oh fucking shit. WTF? God I'm hooked. Sigh.

Reviewer: Binka Fudge
Date: 07/20/08 13:30
Chapter: Chapter Six: Preliminary Talks

I can sort of see the other universes side, but people have done things undercover many times, wouldn't it be possible to keep the extent of their involvement a secret? Sorry, i'm just terrified they're going to lose. It's such a shame Voldemort didn't decide to bring his own counterpart into this reality, I mean at face value two of him is undenyabley catastrophic, but on the other hand they might argue over which of them is in charge and inadvertantly destroy one another and Harry wouldn't have to do anything at all. Wishful thinking i know. Now we have the explanation for Harrold's interest in Luna, he's married to her in his universe. I'm not sure i like Harrold, can't put my finger on it, but our Harry is much more human, he makes mistakes, he blunders through things and almost accidentally wins, I just hope he can do it again.

Author's Response: No multiple Voldemorts. Two Harrys is plenty. I've already established that Harold won his war. His Riddle is dead and buried (possibly burned). Harry/Luna is my favorite non-canon pairing so I've snuck it in under the border. Harold/Luna is even more interesting because they're almost complete opposites. Speaking of Harold. I like him, but then I know where this is going.

Reviewer: LOTRandHPnut
Date: 07/05/08 23:01
Chapter: Chapter One: A Cry in the Dark

The idea is definately intriging (butchered the spelling there) and I'm anxious to read more. However there were some parts when the fluency was little off, which can be improved by diversifying the lengths of sentences. Believe me, I still have the same problem.
Here's an example of when it got a little too choppy:
"He entered the classroom slowly and glanced around. The room had been cleared, though chairs lined the walls. He could see Charlie slumped over sleeping. Tonks and Remus didn’t look much better, their eyes ringed with exhaustion. Her once vibrant hair was dark, and his was filled with more than a hint of grey. "

Reviewer: tilli
Date: 06/23/08 1:14
Chapter: Chapter Five: Skirmish

this story line is brilliant.. just want to make one thing clear? the house system: has it been abolished in the altenate reality?

Author's Response: Glad you like it. No house system is intact.

Reviewer: Binka Fudge
Date: 06/22/08 21:10
Chapter: Chapter Five: Skirmish

Wow, what an action packed chapter. It's awful to see how war affects people, I wonder if now they'll sit down and have a civilised conversation as they should've done in the first place? I like the connecting wands reference, will there be any lasting effects on the two Hermione's? Can't wait for another update, this is so cool and weird all at the same time.

Author's Response: Cool and weird? I'll take that. War has its effects but so does victory. But more on that later. conversations? Yeah. civilised? we'll see.

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