By 'these types of poems' I didn't mean anything you've written, but angsty!Harry poems in general. I can't really talk like that, though, seeing how guilty I am of those. XD I was wrong, though, they're still awesome. *shifty* Anyway, again, great job.
Author's Response: =] totally understandable. thanks again.rnrn
Ah, there are tears in my eyes at the end. I've always been partial to Harry. =)
I love the storyline. Honestly, I thought I had grown tired of these types of poems, but you've shown me how wrong I was. This poem was beautiful and powerful(ly heart wrenching xp). It just...it really got to me, especially the ending - I am no hero. That line sent chills down my spine like no tomorrow.
I have only one critique. It seemed like the poem was...disjointed. The lines seemed to end very randomly and abruptly to me, like this:
Fire still burns away, eating
The last of the beauty. Vengeance
Is still here, still alive within their
Eyes. Do you not see the
Of course, this may be personal preference - I've never favored ending a sentence with one last word on the next line. It seems very abrupt and broken up to me. I admit, I began looking down the side of the page for an acrostic (most acrostic poems are disjointed in the name of their secret message).
However, at the end it did seem to start flowing more smoothly. Maybe I'm trying to poke holes through steel - for all I know, it was disjointed as it is for the sake of the poem, to show Harry's...disturbedness (pretend that's a word). But, just in case it isn't because of that, I thought I'd point that out.
Onto happier things. =)
I already told you my favorite line, but this was my favorite part: I cannot take it. I must flee— / There’s no room for me / Here, where children cry for their / Lost parents, and I had none / From the start. I don’t belong / Where lovers grasp frozen hands and / Give into the tears. I lost that right / A long time ago. I do not belong. / Let me leave. (mega-quote) That is one of the most powerful stanzas in a poem I've ever read. Poor Harry. He's always gone through so much. It's sad to see him finally give in to it.
You, Lalalalatina, are a great poet, and I hope your busy RL doesn't keep you away from MNFF forever.
Author's Response: Kate! Why hello, I'm glad that you stopped by. [: I appreciate the wonderful feedback, your detailed and helpful reviews are always appreciated. I wanted to try something new for a poem, and this came out. I agree that it may seem a bit disjointed, but I meant for it to have sort of abrupt endings. Hmmm... just wondering what you meant by being sick of "these types of poems..." The ones I write about Harry...? O_o Anyway, I appreciate the feedback, and I do wish I could write more often, but RL is uber busy. Cheers!
Brilliant. I think that you captured Harry perfectly. I think this is exactly how he would have felt. Amazing job dear.
Author's Response: I'm glad you thought it fit Harry well, I hoped it would. Thanks for reviewing.
omg, that was sooooooo good!!!! you are really an amazing author!!! love ya! keep it up!
Author's Response: thanks, glad you liked it :]
Aw, Harry...he needs his friends and, of course, Ginny. Loved it!!!
Author's Response: Yes, yes he does...
I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the review!
This gave me shivers, it's really beautiful. Great job.
Here, where children cry for their
Lost parents, and I had none
From the start. I don’t belong
Where lovers grasp frozen hands and
Give into the tears. I lost that right
A long time ago. I do not belong.
Let me leave.
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked that stanza. Thank you for taking the time to review! :)
Well done, you portrayed Harry to perfection* sniff *I'm so proud of you.=Sammy
Author's Response: Thank you soooo much your review is too nice
*sniff* poor, poor harry!! hopefully just about now ginny comes to comfort him... muhaha.. good poem!!
Author's Response: ( =[ I agree, poor Harry )
Thanks for reviewing (:
Wow. That was an amazing poem, dear. Your best yet, if I must say. :D Keep on writing, I love it! xxvictoria
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the wonderful compliment (I do hope I'm at least getting a bit better at writing ^_^). Thanks again for the review!